Anyone else procrastinate badly on filing?

[LostOne0069]

I'm wondering if we're the only ones who have done this...

We've known for several months now that we need to file bk... There's no way we can ever catch up or even make the payments if the creditors all gave us 0% interest and 5 years to pay the unsecured debt. So bk is a foregone conclusion.

We took 3 months to pick an attorney... and I'd like to say that it's because we interviewed so many that it took a long time to do so... but we went to exactly TWO before picking the second one we met with.

Then, it took us a month to pay him the retainer and filing fee... a little over $2000. He then a few days later sent us a packet asking for a bunch of information about our debt, expenses, assets etc. etc. etc. I'm sure everyone who's already filed knows exactly what I'm talking about. 6 months of statemens, 4 years of taxes, 3 months of CC bills, etc. etc.


That was a month and a half ago. I just finished getting it put together last night. My wife is going to go over it today to make sure that I have everything that was asked for and then I'll drop it off at the attorneys tomorrow.

We'll do the credit counseling sometime after Thursday (have to wait to get paid), but should have all that done by the weekend.

So, assuming that I have actually given him everything he needs and haven't forgotten anything or he doesn't come up with anything else... We'll probably actally end up filing sometime around the first of July (I'm assuming it'll take a couple of weeks for the attorney to go through everything and then actually file it.).

So it'll have been something like 5 months from the time that we first "knew" that we would have to file to the time that we'll actually FILE... Anyone else procrastinate like this?

As to WHY it's taken us so long? Well, it's been me, not my wife. I handle all the finances (my wife's a homemaker and doesn't like having to deal with finances) and, as strange as this will sound, the financial problems have been so stressful that I haven't been able to get myself to work on them. Weird eh? I'm so stressed about my finances that I can't get myself to take the relatively short and easy steps that will RESOLVE that stress? I feel like an idiot and have FELT like an idiot for taking so long... but I just haven't been able to get myself to do it. And it's not just the bk that I've procrastinated on... it's like I don't do anything anymore. I work, I sleep (a little) and I watch a little TV and I yell and grumble a lot around the house at my wife and kids... Much of the time I'm really not fit to be around.

Anyway, sorry for the long rambling post... I'm just feeling a bit weird... and the stress is going even higher since I'm about to move into the next "phase" and actually start the timer on #1 finding out if we'll really get a Chapter 7 and #2 Finding out if the Trustee will drag things out and #3. Finding out if any other objections will show up that make things take forever.

[SinkingFast]

Lost,..............

Don't worry about it one bit.

We started seeing attnys the end of January/first of Feb. And as you well know, we Consulted with more than one or two. But each one gave us their packet of info and the check lists. It took me nearly 2 months to get all the stuff the attnys wanted gathered together. And I was working on it. AND, even when we met with the attny we decided to hire, he wanted some more stuff that I physically didn't have with me that afternoon. I rushed around the whole next morning gathering MORE stuff. Ran those docs into his office the next afternoon.

It took our attny's office nearly a month to get our petition in it's "first draft" format. Partly because they have to apply out of state Exemptions. Partly because our paralegal was on vacation for a week in April.

Then the attny had to go over it. Make his changes, corrections, and alterations. Get our petition just the way he wanted it. But then we were looking at moving so the attny said WAIT. Wait until we could find a new place. Wait until we physically got moved. Then the house deal came together so we had to wait until that was done. Now our expenses have changed so we've got to wait til we get all new bills and paychecks to see what all the new numbers are. Wait. Wait. Wait.

So what if you drug around a little collecting all the docs. It's like when a person close to you dies. You've go thru the grieving process in your own time. As long as you are not in danger of getting sued, there's really been no harm done in waiting.

[Credit Hater]

Its like you've read my mind. I agree 110 %. You're making progress though and be proud that you have (I'm still saving for an attorney). Also, venting here or to a friend or family member or all of the above may help to make it easier to be around you. I get grumpy too from the stress. It sucks...it just weighs on my mind so much and then the anger sets in. I'm about to seek some professional counseling for it because I'm worried (not suggesting you should though), just saying. The board is here for you to vent, so take advantage of it. Somehow after I vent I always feel at least a little bit better. We're here for you.

[Rover]

It doesn't seem to me that you've been procrastinating at all. You're moving at a reasonable pace.

In fact, an argument could be made that one should only file BK at the last possible moment. You can only file Ch 7 once every 8 years. Unforeseen events (e.g., medical expenses) could occur after your Ch 7 was discharged that could put you back in a hole. So, one would be prudent to guard their right to file Ch 7 carefully.

[anonymuse]

LostOne, you are not alone--you're story sounds just like mine. In April, I determined this was a forgone conclusion, and I've only talked with four lawyers.

And some people think that all BK filers just want to scam the credit card companies and have no financial ethics!

It's not easy for any of us and, at least for me, actually filing feels like I'm a failure.

The only credible delay in my case is getting the money to file. Plus, waiting for some medical issues to be resolved so I knew what the ongoing monthly expenses would be. Besides that, it's my procrastination and depression.

We're here for you!

[BassBoy]

I don't believe that anyone here just woke up one morning and said, "I think I'll file for bankruptcy." We thought about it and discussed it for months before we made the plunge. It's a difficult decision and not one to take lightly. We looked down every avenue in order to find a solution, but when we exhausted all of our options, we came to the conclusion that BK was inevitable.

[Bobby'sGirl]

I wouldn't recommend waiting a year...

...as I will have when I file around August 1. Late August of '05 I finally realized no one was going to come across with a fulltime job to replace the one I had lost in '04 and my patchwork of parttime jobs and self-employment wasn't cutting it. Nearing 60 I was not a prime "hiring" prospect, and was depleting retirement funds I would need to draw on if I live to 80+ and can't supplement with parttime work. I visited a credit counselor and she was frank with me: short of winning the lottery, confirmed my not being ever able to "catch-up" and told me about how long I could wait before any judgements would be filed by creditors. She also provided a heads up on attorneys to avoid in our area, and, in my case, said I had nothing to gain by rushing to beat the October changeover in BK laws. If I had filed quickly, it may have kept my post-BK credit scores from being hit by charge-offs, but my needs for good credit in the future are not as great as someone several decades younger. I also was too stressed to do much more than get a few BK books and begin looking online for info specific to my state. I read the archives on this board, and finally began posting and asking questions last month when I decided on my attorney. I almost have enough money put aside for the lawyer and court costs, so should be able to move a little faster if I do get a "notice" from any of these creditors to go to court. I was able to go into my lawyer with everything he needed at the first meeting and can be pretty sure I have covered all my bases at this point. It would have been hard to cope without this board; turns out to be far more than an information center; being able to see that I am not the only one going through this is helping me handle the stress, I believe.

[SinkingFast]

It doesn't seem to me that you've been procrastinating at all. You're moving at a reasonable pace.

In fact, an argument could be made that one should only file BK at the last possible moment. You can only file Ch 7 once every 8 years. Unforeseen events (e.g., medical expenses) could occur after your Ch 7 was discharged that could put you back in a hole. So, one would be prudent to guard their right to file Ch 7 carefully.

You pretty much hit the nail on the head there Rover.

At one point, both Hubby and I were pretty flustered with the waiting game so I pinned the paralegal on the phone one day about it. The paralegal basically said:

"You're not in any danger of being sued. So let as many things as possible play out before you file. If you get in a situation where one of your Creditors does threaten or file a suit, we're ready to go. But waiting is your best option at this point. Deal with as much as possible, all at one time, when you do file."

If we hadn't waited, we woulda lost the house in the BK and had a Foreclosure on our Credit. Instead, we're selling and that's one less black mark toward our future.

[Minnymouth]

Don't ever think your ALONE.................. all of us have been there, done that, or in the process of doing it all.................

So we feel your pain, your confusion, your sense of failure also......

Keep in contact with us, we can help you thru this with lots of moral support and suggestions...... when you have a problem arise, post it, and others will offer solutions or tell how they handled it........

We can't solve your problems for you, but we sure can support you as you deal with things down the road...................

None of us jumped into bankruptcy...... and many of us took a long time making the decision (that's the hardest part).......

But believe me, it will be well worth the headaches you've been thru and the stress relief will be fantastic in the end.....................

A new beginning, a "fresh start" in life........... and a whole new way of thinking about your finances........

Keep in touch, ask questions, chat for moral support, tell us how your feeling each day if you need too...... WE ARE HERE....

[LostOne0069]

Thanks everyone, your comments are making me feel a bit better about it.

I am glad, though, that I've finally gotten moving and gathered together the stuff that the attorney asked for. Who knows if he'll ask for more and if so, how much... but at least I'm MOVING somewhere.

The REAL terror for me starts the day we file... worrying about the Trustee trying to force us into a 13... then, if we dodge THAT bullet, there'll be the worry that the trustee or a creditor will object and the bk will take forever to close. I do know, though, that once we're confirmed into a chapter 7 I'll be feeling a LOT better... Because, when it comes right down to it, I really could not care less about what the trustee takes and sells. I just want out from under the debt. I worry more about how LONG the trustee takes to TAKE stuff than I do about WHAT he might take!

Thanks again everyone!

[anonymuse]

Are you like me and will go for days or weeks without opening any mail that comes in?

[FilingOnMyOwn]

I put off filing for years. It was a combination of 1) Not wanting to file bk & 2) Not having any money to file bk.

[LostOne0069]

Are you like me and will go for days or weeks without opening any mail that comes in?

I did that for quite a while... I'd have huge piles of envelopes on my desk until I got myself to take care of it. I've finally gotten myself into the habit of taking care of the mail every day though, even if I get yet another "nasty-gram" from a CCC.

My biggest problem was that I was answering the phone once in a while to try and tell the creditors that I was going to file BK and that I'm NOT going to pay them anything.... Whenever I did this, the creditor would end up making their usual threats and insults and I'd feel like crap for several days afterwords.

Really, the only reason I've finally actually finished gathering the information for the attorney is that I stopped answering my phone and I now delete any voicemail message as soon as I know that it's from a creditor... I don't even listen to them any longer than what it takes to know that it's from a creditor.

I'm hoping that we'll actually get filed soon so that I can get past the 341 and start breathing again. Once I'm past that I figure that a good 70% of my stress will be gone. The remaining stress will go with the discharge and close... but getting rid of that 70% will be WONDERFUL.

[krobin02]

For me it was the opposite. In December I fleetingly thought abhout bk but then it dissappeared just as quickly. Then in the middle of Jan one of my creditors was going to sue to garnish my wages. At that instant I decided to file. I did two free consultations, filled out the paperwork that I got off the us courts website and officially filed lessthan a week later. Now I'm just waiting on the discharge.

[anonymuse]

My first (disastrous) attorney (actually with paralegal) consult I ended up being told that there was no way I could file BK. Blah blah.

Luckly, after hearing that, and waiting awhile I started reading some more and discovered she was full of sh!t. And here I sit now. 1) Waiting to get market evaluation on home and 2) Getting together money for Bk and then 3) filing BK