Where is the Justice?

[sunshine08]

Father of 5 year old twin girls charged with stabbing them to death. He was fighting battles of "Depression." Bank executive living in a 1/2 million dollar house, (4900 square feet - 2 story brick).... Father of the accused said, thought he was seeking help from some of the of top doctors in the area for his depression and sleeping problems.

Man accused of raping wife's 6 year old granddaughter, while grandmother was recovering in a nursing home. (he was 45)......

Preacher's wife ran a daycare. 12 year old girl pregnant, due any day......
Preacher arrested, daycare closed, could there be more children involved? Ongoing investigation.

Where is this world going to????? These were weekend headlines in North Carolina. How sick are these people???????

The accused: a father, a grandfather, and a preacher. Victims 12, 6 & 5 years old. Who are the ones protecting our children??

[bkfiler]

parents need to be highly involved from the start until the end of their kids life until married imo.

[sunshine08]

How involved - the twins lived with their parents?

In the 12 year old's case, the preacher was just arrested, and she is due any day now. What questions didn't somebody ask??? Come on your 12 year old pops up pregnant???? Where does the Dr. or school system not see a problem with this. Somebody outside the "family" had to see and question this.

Does anybody need a babysitter that bad???

Had to vent. But this is ridiculous in this day and age for this to be going on. It is a bad sign that us in society can't trust your children's preacher, grandfather or father...

[robivi3]

I'm sick of trying to "understand" perpetrators of these acts. Better to be rid of such people after reasonable due process.

It is the mechanics of these things that are utterly disturbing. How do you physically perform such acts without revulsion? This is such a violation that it goes beyond the mind numbing stupid arguments we here like "couldn't get a real woman". There is no physically appealing thing about a young child to someone with a normal mind.

I have also heard the justification applied to older minors. It is all repulsive. Just the act of violating my child would demand reprisal. But the terror committed against the child is the worst part, it rips away humanity and takes away any feeling of control or power that someone who is younger may have. You feel like a piece of meat, at least in some cases it is thankfully not a family member. I cannot imagine how a person feels when it is a family member perpetrating the act, in that case you have no recourse but to destroy your family.

But parents let their ten year olds hang out at our Amoco at 10 pm at night riding bikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This in a large city. They don't care and a child then becomes a ward of whatever will pay attention if the parent doesn't. My 19 year old still asks permission to do certain things. Yes, has his own car, friends but still doesn't "hang out" at the Mall and never did, we got that notion over on day one, you are not spending money, you ain't hanging out anywhere but home or a friends. i have done well and i have no problems related to the three teenage boys and they have never been victimized and they know right from wrong without a problem.

My GOD, a pregnant 12 year old? Where is the damned father?! Gone? Single Mom? What is up? and how the hell do you keep sniffing hounds away like the dirtbag who likely saw a vulnerable person with no one to defend her or was it that she had no example of a father? Irregardless he should hang.

We had a strict policy that our kids never slept away from home until 16 or if we also went on the trip or unless it CLOSE family. It is ONE thing that i will say for Fidel, he kills child molesters, that is a well known fact that any Cuban will tell you.

[bkfiler]

How involved

if the parents (of the perpatrators) were involved in their childrens lives from the start then there would be a far less change they would have commited these acts.

also, if the parents would be watching their children closely from the start these acts are far less likely to happen as well.

works well in two ways. helps to create decent people instead of extreme freaks.

[sunshine08]

I have worked since I was 18. I didn't leave my kids with just anybody either. They were close relatives or family friends. I am not the craziest over my grandson going to day care. It is OK, but I do go there often as does my son. We pop in during the day, pick him up early when we can or take him as late as we can. Have no control over where his mother takes him, but as he gets older, I do plan to ask questions, but that is a qustionable situation.
You can only do the best you can to prepare children for the real word and try to instill in them to talk to you about any and everything.

My heart melted, last night when I called the house to check on my grandson and he heard my voice, he got on the phone and told me to come home he missed me and wanted a hug, well he got it.

[edwards2]

sunshine08 - you are such a sweetheart...your grandson is so lucky to have you. I too am sickened by those incidents you described. I get physically sick when I see a parent slap a child and in fact have taken them to task in the store. Havent seen it in a while but even when I hear a child crying in the store I go find him/her. I do do one thing that has at least temporarily put whatever is going on on hold...I say something nice to the child and the parent about the child. You would be amazed the attitude change. I even say nice things to the mom or dad about how hard it is shopping when you have worked all day or had the kids at home all day. My youngest son is 16 and he probably has the shortest leash of any of his friends but tough stuff. He has to account to us where he is going, who will be there and is told when his curfew is. Fortunately, where I live there is a curfew for teenagers and the police will arrest a kid if he violates it unless he is working of course - and can prove it. We dont have a lot of crime(fortunately) in our township so the police are able to be more proactive. My son has made mistakes..we have had a scare or two already. Once we pointed out the error of his ways and imposed grounding he has done a lot better. He knows if he steps out of line we get his truck and Mom and Dad are back to driving him to school. He is a smart kid and basically a good kid but he is a teenager and that is scary enough. I think we all try as parents to make sure our kids know the difference between right and wrong. I can promise you I am NOT known as the cool mom...I am the overly protective one...I can live with that and so will my son.

[sunshine08]

I have to add this "story", my youngest son is 23. When he was about 20 or 21. I was doing my auxiliary police work one weekend night. (this was when I was interim police chief, on the other side of the county) Our county is very large and spread out, cell signals suck.
Anyway, I am out on "routine" patrol, minding my own business and listening to the radio. I hear one of the other town's dispatcher calling the fire department about a complaint that a vehicle was on fire at the mall. They also send a police officer out there etc. The police get there and call in the tag #, well it sounds familiar (do you know your tag #?). Welllllll guess whose car it is? Like I said, the cell signals there suck. No signal. So I start heading back to the police department (the sheriff's office dispatches, because there was only one full time officer and he had been fired), I get a call, then another call. I hear the fire trucks arrive on the scene, they had also dispatched rescue, by what the passerby that called in the "fire" had said. I hear other officers check out there.
Finally, I can get to a land line phone, Well, of course my son's phone goes to voice mail. I can't type what kind of message I left but here is the condensed, cleaned up version, I don't know whats going on. I don't have a good feeling about this, if you aren't hurt, you will be when I get there and you better be home and awake when I get off work.
On the way home, I had several voice mail messages, but knew I couldn't listen to them because of the signal.
Waiting outside on the porch is my son and his friend. The car looks fine, well I am that much madder. Soon as I get out of the car, his friend starts talking, up goes my hand (talk to the hand). I go in the house and call the pd. After I got off the phone and calmed down from laughing, I had a come to Jesus talk with my son, trying to keep a straight face.
I know, I'll get on with the story. It seems that he had lent a friend his fog machine (used at Halloween) and his play station etc. His friend returned it. While at the mall, another friend asked him what the fog machine was and how it worked. He got showed. Fog started filling up the car, etc. Somebody riding by the mall thought the car was on fire and did their good deed for the day and called the police.
The Lt at the fire dept wasn't real happy (his son was the Sgt on duty that night with the pd, he thought it was funny) They could have charged him, but I guess some of the others talked him out of it. One of the officers reminded another whose son he was and the general consensus was, he'll get in more trouble at home, trust me they were right. Every now and then I do a check for that fog machine and am reminded of my son's "foggy night".

[SinkingFast]

In the 12 year old's case, the preacher was just arrested, and she is due any day now. What questions didn't somebody ask??? Come on your 12 year old pops up pregnant???? Where does the Dr. or school system not see a problem with this. Somebody outside the "family" had to see and question this.

...

When our son was in middle school, one of the teachers had an affair with a boy that was in the next grade up from our son. When it was reported in the news, they didn't say who the boy was. Protecting a minor child, of course. Right after the news broke tho, son's friend, a neighbor boy that lived across the street, told us all about it. He told us who the boy was, how they would meet after school in the parking lot or at her class room. How the boy was always telling his folks he was spending the nite with new friends from school. He claimed they were kids from the other schools he'd met since they'd all merged at middle school. Turned out we knew the kid very well. His mom and I were serving on the Board of a community organization at the same time.

Mom is the one who found out and reported it to the school. She found "love letters" from the teacher to her son. Mom was picking up dirty clothes in his bedroom one day when she found the letters. He'd been hiding them. The school didn't wanna do anything about it. They thought Mom was just being a crazy lady. So she called the police and filed a report. That's when the school finally took action against the teacher. The boy was really messed up by the whole thing so Mom asked the school district for assistance. The school district refused, so the family sued and won damages from the school. That whole thing ruined their family. They moved to get away from all the gossip. One of the grandparents suffered a stroke and another had a heart attack from all the stress. Mom and Dad got divorced. It was a mess.

If 12 year old kids knew what was going on, you cannot tell me that adults in that building did not see it??!!

[sunshine08]

Forgot to add this in the first post. All these are in the news this weekend and have happened in North Carolina.

School teacher on trial (female) for having sex with a minor. The now turned 18 year old, testified.....
Can't you find someone your own age.

As for the 12 year old. The child, I guess went to the daycare run by the preacher's wife, someone else got concerned about this 12 year old being pregnant, heard gossip, I don't know the news has released very little info other than to report that there was a possiblity of other victims and that the day care was closed.

It is against the law, to be sure this 12 year old has had medical treatment, they are supposed to report this, it is not considered consensual because of the age....... The schools and doctors are so quick to call Social Services about everything else. Good Lord, don't let your child have a bump, bruise or split lip, see who shows up. Don't even think about spanking your child, raising your voice, whatever, that is probably against the law too.

[SinkingFast]

When our daughter was in 3rd grade, we got a note from the school nurse that she needed to be seen by an eye doctor. The teacher had noticed she had problems seeing in class and sent her to be tested by the School nurse. Daughter didn't do so well on the School nurses's test so she sent us the note. I called, made and appt, got daughter to the eye doctor. Sure enough, she needed glasses. There was a spot on the form for the eye doctor to sign, and I saw the school wanted the form returned but didn't pay attention to anything else. I got the doc to sign and didn't think any more about it.

Next morning, I'm getting ready to put the form in daughter's back pack and remind her to turn it in to the nurse when I actually read it. There was some sort of statement that had the date the Nurse did the testing, that we had so long a period of time to respond and seek treatment. If the school did not receive the form back signed by a doctor, they had the right to report us to the proper authorities. Unreal!! I coulda been reported for child abuse if I hadn't been able to get my child to see an eye doctor!! Luckily we had insurance and luckily we could afford to pay. What if we were poor?? or no insurance?? Or it took too long to get an appt with an eye doctor??

But hey, a teacher can have an affair with a minor aged boy at the Middle School and nobody sees a thing??

[sunshine08]

Go figure.
I don't know what people do with no insurance. Our insurance doesn't cover eye exams, etc. Eye doctors are expensive........

[jennga]

Sunshine I have worked with abuse and neglected children for 13 years, also work with adults abused as children. I wasn't sure I could do it at first because a person really does get traumatized by the stories. But the way I handled it was that if I could do anything at all in this life, at least for the time the kiddos were with me they would be safe.

I finally got to see justice served a few years ago. I was working with a 16 y/o girl who had been molested by her father for 3 years. We worked it just right and had a wonderful Juvenile officer. From the time the girl told me what was happening till the time the man was arrested was less than 6 hours. He is in prison for the next 20 years. I felt there was a guiding spirit that day (many days like that). I had asked the young lady before if that was happening and she said no, but something told me to ask again. The young lady and her mother brought me roses on the day the perp was sentenced.

So you kind of hit on my lifes work with this thread. I also have a 9 year old step-grandchild who call me mom in our legal custody. We knew if we hadn't done something many years ago that this precious angel would have been in trouble.

It happens every day, we all have to do what we can to protect our precious children. My kids used to get so tired of the body safety talks we had! lol At least nothing ever happened to them. Thank the good Lord.

[sunshine08]

SinkingFast - Starting this fall, before your child can enter kindergarten, they must have a professional eye exam and a physical. Paperwork must be completed before school starts.
Your 12 year old can be pregnant, no questions asked but God help you if can't afford to get an eye exam for your child. Please explain that to me....