Obsessive Compulsive Behavior

[Amadan]

Is this what it feels like to be in a mid life crisis? I am a 40yo male, in debt beyond reprieve. I have always been the strength in the family, and now I find myself crying alot. Seriously, I go sit in a the closet and hide and have a good cry so the wife and kids dont see me. Big tough guy, huh? I feel completely helpless and just want answers. I am still waiting for the lawyer to even find out if we qualify for a 7 or 13. We are above median but have documented expenses that seem, to my non-expert opinion, to put us in the "presumtion of abuse does not arise" category. It actually shows we need to learn to budget FAST, because our income doesnt cover them all. Over the course of the last year with cutbacks and reductions in salary between my wife and myself our income was cut by almost 20% (we made roughly 22000 less in 2009 than we did in 2008). In january I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and the onset of Congestive Heart Failure. So now we have to buy special foods that add to our bills that are ENTIRELY my fault. Not to mention the 4 prescriptions I have to take every day. Add to that the means test results are still innaccurate becasue they show what I used to make, not the future earnings. My employer wont let me work out of town or overtime anymore due to my condition. They actually gave me a lateral promotion (read - no raise) to an office position.

I have been obessively checking this forum on a daily (if not hourly) basis, just hoping to find answers. So far this group has been a godsend, it is truly a wealth of information and it has helped me tremendously. It also helps to be in communication with people going through the same thing as you. While it sucks all around, I guess misery really does love company.

I dont know why I am putting all this out there, except to maybe just get it off my chest. Probably TMI.

So how often do you check the board?

[Meatstick]

Don't feel too bad. I constantly roam these boards even reading threads multiple times even though no new postings. I kinda like to think it has put me at ease and the atmosphere of the forum is very helpful as we all are facing problems and looking for a solution to get on with our lives.

Good luck.

[catleg]

This board is like a big AA meeting for debtors.
It never hurts to tell your story, helps you and helps others.
I suffered big time gambling OCD because of a medicine I was taking for Parkinson's...led to real bad behavior. I got off it in time to save my marriage but the die is already cast for BK. The hardest part is getting over the "shame" and "guilt". Financial problems getting so common that most people are very understanding. And anyone who isn't scared about the economy isn't paying attention.

[Jackdog]

Gambling. I'm a poster child for bad beats. I won (thought I had found the one way I could get out of debt) then lost then the cycle started if I can just get back what I lost, deposit again, then lose more. I love this site. I was already barely making ends meet before I began gambling. I still wake up every single night between 2-4 am stressed. I try to sleep but all I can think about is what I've done. So when I get sick of laying in bed wide awake cursing myself for how out of control things are by what I did. I get on here and read. How my boyfriend sleeps the night through I'm so jealous.) We've been together seven years and even though it's all in my name he had his part in it. But since he's not the one paying the bills, he gets to sleep at night. He hasn't had six years of finding out which grocery stores take the longest time to deposit a check so I can buy groceries since I paid more than the minimum payment that week on a couple of credit cards. I'm just hoping for more good news when I meet with a second attorney on Wednesday. If I do get through this though. I can honestly say I don't care if I ever have a credit card again. We get married he can have his and I'll just pay what he does (he doesn't go crazy). I want the rest of my life to be what's mine is mine and I don't anyone anything for it.

[tigergem]

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time Amadan. I think it will be all better after you are discharged. At least I hope so. Good luck and best wishes.

[junker]

come on now....gambling isnt soo bad... i also am a gambler...i love the dog tracks in florida...even though i am now living in calif....i still bet there....it cant be much worse than some stock portfolios today...how about everyone that put money with old bernie madoff....wasnt that gambling...i am sure many here lost their a.. on the stock market over the past year...wasnt that also gambling??? with gambling at least i anticipate the possiblility of losing...i dont have my head in the clouds thinking that my stock wont ever fall.....i say enjoy yourself...remember dec 21...2012..the mayans say it will all be over anyway....

[tigergem]

Excuse me, but my plan doesn't end until 2015, so we are just going to have to postpone the end of the world thing. I demand my discharge!

[junker]

i think you all will get a exemption....btw isnt dec 21, 2012 about a month before the end of Obama,s first term? now thats a scary thought...

[user33]

I just discovered this board this week, and I believe it is the best resource for BK on the Internet, I get more practical filing information here than anywhere I searched, I got critical questions answered/discussed timely and expertly by people of true knowledge and had gone through the BK filing experience personally. I had interviewed two lawyers and asked questions, they either had no clue or were plainly wrong, they don't care about helping me, all they care was to convince me to use them as my lawyer so their answers are skewed intentionally hoping I will buy them, they under estimated my intelligence and knowledge. I am very grateful for this board and for all the decent people here who give their time and efforts to help the strangers, and I am doing my best to make sure my questions and answers here are clear and well organized so that they would be helpful to others who read them, and whenever I can, I would share my knowledge that I feel confident are true and reliable, and refrain myself from giving opinions that are speculations but not based on facts.

The most valuable lesson I learned from the adversity since I lost all my credits, is to live without creditcard and not buying anything that I don't have money (cash) to pay for it. I have been living on cash-only since 2006 and it has made me a much smarter consumer and my financial life will be much better after I have my cc debts discharged. So, in a sense, I shall thank the BK experience. Never thought I would ever come down to this, but hey, I not only survived physically and emotionally (which was the hardest part), but I am much wiser than I was before, it's a lesson well worth it in life!

[Amadan]

well, I may finally get some sleep tonight. our legal team has determined our only option is a chapter 13 with a 20% payout. were about $500 over the means with no other way to bring it down.

considering the alternatives I think we can make it work. It wont be easy. heck, it hasnt even been confirmed. but we can make some sacrifices and make the plan work (now that we have a plan)

[tigergem]

Well at least you know. That is half the battle. I think a positive attitude is the right course, too. I wish you the best!

[ForumReader]

i say enjoy yourself...remember dec 21...2012..the mayans say it will all be over anyway....

I don't mean to hijack this thread, but seriously, anyone believe that the world will come to an end on Dec 21, 2012? That is the year my daughter would have graduated from high school and to start college!

[tigergem]

i say enjoy yourself...remember dec 21...2012..the mayans say it will all be over anyway....

I don't mean to hijack this thread, but seriously, anyone believe that the world will come to an end on Dec 21, 2012? That is the year my daughter would have graduated from high school and to start college!

(que the Twilight Zone music)

meh. Who knows? I don't think any of us are given any guarantees in life from one day to the next.

[Flamingo]

You know, those of you who are indicating they can't sleep, etc. due to all the worrying and emotions about everything...understand you are going through a life event. Life events cause major upheavals and bring all sorts of changes to one's life. People cope in different ways. Go see your family doctor and tell your doctor you are stressing out severely due to major financial problems. There are antidepressants and antianxiety medicines that can help get you through this cause you can make yourself sick with worry. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown the several months before we filed. I knew someone who burst into tears (former coworker) in front of the Trustee at their initial meeting telling the trustee she felt she was a bad person for having to file and not be able to pay back her debts.

And yes this forum is fantastic...I wish I had found it when we first filed but I don't believe it existed at that time (2001/2002). We did a lot of stupid things with bad advice from some other forums that are now defunct but that won't happen to anyone on here...

[Universal]

My husband says I am obsessed with these boards. Maybe so. He was fired the first of the year and it is my salary paying $1,240. to the trustee and supporting us on the rest. In my mind, I have every right to be obsessed.