Spending on wants insted of need and the guilt............

[pamkev]

we filed Ch 7 8/12 discharged 11/12 every since then we have been saving money like anything. Hubby has been working major OT first weekend off since the beginning of the year and my second job has picked up so more hours coming my way.

We do have money set aside for emergencies. I've been paying more on students loans to get them done quickly.

Today I came across a great cruise to Bermuda for a total of around 1500.00 for 7 nights. We can drive to the pier and dh has always wanted to go there but here is the problems I can't bring myself to spend that money. I will feel guilty if we do thinking we should not be spending this money. When we had to take $600.00 out of savings to fix hubby's truck (which the money has since be replaced and then some) I went into panic mode.

I know each person has his/her comforted level so if you could just give me a general idea when you felt okay to splurge on a want instead of a need or maybe you never do.

Is this a normal feeling after BK/

Pam

[andy158]

For the first year in our bk13 I hated to get up in the morning and face what "might" be another financial hurdle. We got used to the fact that we couldn't spend money like we used to and stayed the course of watching where every penny went. Yes the emergency fund is critical, but you have to ask yourself how much do I actually need to have. A nice figure is at least a month's pay for us. Your comfort level may be different.

For the first three years of our bk we didn't go on any "vacation". In fact I sold most of my vacation days back to the company for extra money. We now enjoy a little entertainment within our means. To keep your sanity you have to.

If you have a decent savings and can afford a cruise, by all means go. You work to live not live to work. Life is too short and you never know what is around the next corner. Don't feel guilty about enjoying what you are working so hard to accomplish.

[spidge]

You both are saying things that are stirring around in my head like crazy. Stressful.

If you're in doubt then you don't have enough in your emergency fund. That is how I would think about it. The cruise sounds great, but having three months salary socked away sounds like more peace of mind. Is there any other possible expense that may come up that you may want to be ready for? So your number for that peace, as was said, may be higher. So three months pay plus the cost of a major house or car repair.

You don't want to be out on a cruise with that pit in your stomach called worry, right?

[mountanddo]

I say if you have enough in your emergency fund after paying for the cruise then by all means go. That is a great price for a 7 day cruise. You are paying cash for it which is a lot better and less stressful than putting it on a credit card. Sounds like you deserve it and just because you filed bankruptcy doesn't mean that you have to stop having fun or spending money forever. You just have to be smarter about it which it sounds like you are doing.

[pamkev]

Thank you for all your advice will talk to Hubby about what we want to do after a day like today I say yes need to get away.

Pam

[LadyInTheRed]

If you're in doubt then you don't have enough in your emergency fund.

I have to disagree. While the doubt is a good reason to stop and think, it doesn't necessarily mean pamkev and her husband can't afford the trip. Doubt about a decision is healthy and does not mean the decision is not a good one. It could be that PamKev is so afraid of getting into old habits that she is going to deprive herself and her husband of an experience they really can afford. I do agree that if she goes, she needs to be comfortable enough with her decision that she can relax and enjoy the cruise.

I'm still in a Chap 13 and my husband and I just paid cash for airline tickets to go to Hawaii in October. My wonderful sister has offered to pay to rent a house on the beach for a week if we could pay for airfare. 3 1/2 years ago, we would have pulled out the credit card without much of a thought. It took a lot longer to make this decision. Our criteria for making the decision: (1) can we pay cash for the tickets? (2) do we have or can we save enough before the trip to pay for food, a rental car and other expenses while on the trip? (3) Do we have enough savings after paying for the trip to cover living expenses and emergencies?

Pamkev, it sounds like you and your husband are working hard. You deserve a vacation, if you can afford it. It sounds like you have my items 1 and 2 covered. So focus real closely on number 3 and discuss it honestly with your husband. Listen to his perspective and make sure he listens to yours. Then make a decision together. Keep in mind, that no matter how much you save, you may never be 100% certain that you have enough to cover any emergency that comes up. Don't let fear of what might happen keep you from enjoying life. There needs to be a balance between preparing for the worst and enjoying the rewards of your hard work. I believe that satisfying reasonable wants is in fact a need. What wants are reasonable will vary based on our individual circumstances.

[pamkev]

Lady
Thank you so much for your insight. Just like you if this would have been a year ago out the cc would come without a second thought. We would have all three of your criteria cover as number 2 the food is included in our cruise and don't need a rental car so it would be just what we would spend on the island which hanging on the beach doesn't cost to much.
I did asked Dh how he would feel he would love to go but he has the fear of what could happen and not having enough to cover it. We are sleeping on it tonight and see how we feel tomorrow

Pam

[PANSYFACE]

you have been working hard and saving and doing all the right things. I can't tell you how wonderful it was for my husband and me to take a short trip to Gettysburg for 3 days. We thought we would never again get to take a vacation, or have fun of any kind with all the stress and financial woes that we had before bankruptcy.
We paid cash for everything and even though it was a short break, renewed our marriage and gave us hope for the future. go and enjoy the cruise!

[pamkev]

Well we are going on vacation but not until Nov, friends of our are going on a cruise over Thanksgiving and invited us to come along. So we are putting that money towards that cruise and it gives us more time to save. We still can drive to the port , we are so excited we haven't cruise in awhile and these friends have been after us to go with them and now we can say YES so excited.

Thanks everyone for your support

Pam

[pamkev]

you have been working hard and saving and doing all the right things. I can't tell you how wonderful it was for my husband and me to take a short trip to Gettysburg for 3 days. We thought we would never again get to take a vacation, or have fun of any kind with all the stress and financial woes that we had before bankruptcy.
We paid cash for everything and even though it was a short break, renewed our marriage and gave us hope for the future. go and enjoy the cruise!

Thanks and what you say is so true

[PANSYFACE]

You are very welcome!!! This also gives you something to look forward to - you will have a wonderful time, I
know!

[AngelinaCat]

Well we are going on vacation but not until Nov, friends of our are going on a cruise over Thanksgiving and invited us to come along. So we are putting that money towards that cruise and it gives us more time to save. We still can drive to the port , we are so excited we haven't cruise in awhile and these friends have been after us to go with them and now we can say YES so excited.

Thanks everyone for your support

Pam

Pam and PamHub, go on your cruise and enjoy yourselves. We have been invited on several by 'Hub's DD and SIL, and have enjoyed them very much--even the time I had my broken arm and knee!

I am delighted that you have another couple to go with. If you have never been on a cruise, and they have, they will assist you with all the logistics. The process of embarking and debarking can be very daunting.

Enjoy!!

[pamkev]

Pam and PamHub, go on your cruise and enjoy yourselves. We have been invited on several by 'Hub's DD and SIL, and have enjoyed them very much--even the time I had my broken arm and knee!

I am delighted that you have another couple to go with. If you have never been on a cruise, and they have, they will assist you with all the logistics. The process of embarking and debarking can be very daunting.

Enjoy!!

We have cruised before although it's been awhile it's my favorite type of vacation. We are so excited Pam

[spidge]

Good for you. The plan gives you time to save and pay the cash for everything. No worries that way.

I say these things as that pit in my stomach comes over me just to buy a new printer or change the oil in a car.

A vacation rather than a staycation would be stellar.

Have a good time.

[pamkev]

Good for you. The plan gives you time to save and pay the cash for everything. No worries that way.

I say these things as that pit in my stomach comes over me just to buy a new printer or change the oil in a car.

A vacation rather than a staycation would be stellar.

Have a good time.

Oh I understand that pit. I had that last month when I had to take 600 for dh truck to get fixed. The money has been put back but it still was apit.

Pam