My story, scared, need advice.

[duraflame]

Long story short.

I should have filed for BK in 2008 when I lost my job and had more debt then, but I did not, I waded through it and pulled out.

Fast forward to January of 2012. I could not stomach my almost 2 hour commute each way one day to work nor could barely afford it anymore, so I decided to leave my work and try and find something closer to home. Well that was the end of January and still no work. I had to stop paying my credit cards, to which I owe over 25K total on and also my newer car that I owe 22K on still. Well, the car was just repo'd 2 weeks ago and sold at an auction. I couldn't afford to get it back nor do I want it at this point.

The credit card companies have stopped calling because I gave them a cease to desist letter so that is nice, but I'm 4-5 months behind on those and I'm sure that will keep going. I have no income coming in and I have no checking or savings accounts anymore, I closed them when I left work because there were no branches of that bank in my home town.

Anyway, I have a few questions. I got married last year, moved in with my wife into her house. We have nothing joint together, not checking, not cars, not house, not anything. I'm not sure what I'm waiting on to file, but I feel like it's coming soon. I'm scared about jail or judgement or what would happen to my wife. I just found out since we live in a non-community property state that she should be ok.

My wife is recently pregnant and due in October, and there is that extra bill coming in now as well.

We are also thinking of moving back to a bigger city where she would buy another home and rent hers out so I would be able to find work easier.

I really don't have any assets other than a Vespa scooter that I use occasionally.

I'm in my mid 30's and have nothing, the feeling this creates is so horrible. I had to cash in my 401k 2 years ago to keep afloat. I don't want to start my new marriage and child with this burden I've had for years.

Any tips or suggestions? If I decide to file, since I left my job on my own free will is that looked down upon? What will happen next to my Repo? The car just sold Friday, so I have not been contacted yet for a deficiency balance, but alas I have no income and cannot pay that either. The car was with a credit union and my 2 CC's are BoA and Chase. Will the CC's try to sue? I hate not knowing the unknown.

[keepsmiling]

Hi and welcome. Yoiu found the right place.
Relax, deep breath, you are going to be OK.
There is no debtor's jail. So do not even think about that part!!!!
Go make a few appointments with some bk attorneys TODAY. Keep reading here so you'll know what to ask. You will feel much better once you have taken some action.

[pamkev]

I second keep smiling. We should have filed a long time ago but kept thinking it will all work out. It hasn't and it won't. The best choice we made was to file BK and our preparing to do so soon. You will be fine.
Pam

[drowning123]

Don't walk. Run to the nearest bk attorney, if you can afford it. Sometimes we hang on to things until it's too late. You need to get this burden off your shoulders. You need to be there mentally for your wife and young child. All of us here understand where you are now in your financial life. Please keep checking back here. People here truly care. I was scared too and I had no spouse. I'm a single mother, plus I have two elderly parents who I take care of, plus I commute 2.5 hours one way each day for work. I pay ALL the bills in my household. My parents live with me. They have nothing and rely on my financially, and I don't make a lot of money. In order to give ourselves a better quality of life, something had to go, and it was the burden of debt on my shoulders. The relief is indescribable! You'll feel great by just making that first move - contact a bk attorney. You actually made a great move now by coming here. I truly wish you all the best.

[LadyInTheRed]

Welcome to BKforum, duraflame.

It is possible the cc companies will sue you. But, they may not. If they do, a BK will still take care of the debt. A BK will also discharge the deficiency on the car. The fact that you left your job will not be an issue.

Don't walk. Run to the nearest bk attorney, if you can afford it.

You can afford it because most BK attorneys offer free consultations. So, make a couple of appointments and read more here. You will learn that there is nothing to be afraid of.

[lillymarlene]

The credit card companies have stopped calling because I gave them a cease to desist letter so that is nice, but I'm 4-5 months behind on those and I'm sure that will keep going.

Those work great. I had about a dozen credit cards, that I was able to hold off for about year before I received my first summons. Some of them passed me on to collection agencies, but I gave them a cease and desist letter, too. Most likely you will have plenty of time to file bk.

[memama]

Duraflame,
My husband and I should have filed for bankruptcy a long, long time ago as well. We were in a sinking ship and just didn't know when to bail out. We tried to do the "right" thing and pay off debt, but it just didn't work out. Don't beat yourself up about any of this...please.

I second, third, fourth, however many it is, the advice that you see a bankruptcy attorney ASAP. Believe me, our first meeting with an attorney was a very humbling experience because although we had a lot of stuff, we literally had NOTHING of value. At that point, we took it a little personally and felt like at that point *we* had no value! Don't feel bad about your situation; you have a good opportunity now to change your future for your family

[Floridagail]

Sounds like you have nothing to give, It took them 18mos to sue me, and only one cc sued me out of 9 I had. I would relax and worry about your wonderful new family coming. THis is special time in your life. Even if someone sues you, they cannot get anything unless you have a paycheck coming in. I would look for work and worry about filing when you can afford to. Go see a attorney that has free appointment, get idea of what it costs in your town to file, then start saving when you get a job. Please do not beat yourself up over this, You need a fresh start. The bills are not important. You and your family are.

[duraflame]

Thank-you all for the understanding and warm welcome. I appreciate the honesty. It's truly been a trying last 4 months. I am researching attorneys now. I want to have one that is out of the county that I live in. I do not want to air my dirty laundry where I live, it's such a small town and this is very personal to me.

[Pandora]

I want to have one that is out of the county that I live in. I do not want to air my dirty laundry where I live, it's such a small town and this is very personal to me.

There is no shame in filing BK - that stigma is long gone. If people give you crap about it - tell them like we did "...dont want me to file -then feel free to pay my bills every month." Essentially put up or shut up Works wonders.

Congrats on the newest member coming into your family shortly! Take this time to think about your new baby and your future - dont worry about small minded people.

[LadyInTheRed]

Any attorney you consult with must keep your dirty laundry confidential.

[lotsahats]

You will learn that there is nothing to be afraid of.

Keep telling yourself this. Let it become your mantra. We ALL know the terror you are feeling right now. We have all been there, and we can attest that there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

Congratulations on the new baby!

[duraflame]

Keep telling yourself this. Let it become your mantra. We ALL know the terror you are feeling right now. We have all been there, and we can attest that there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

Congratulations on the new baby!

Oh my, I wish it were easier said than done! I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders! I'm so nervous and worried about everything, being questioned on things when I do file, etc. etc... The fear of the unknown for me is so frightening with this. Since I'm planning to file alone without my wife, I don't want her to be involved. That should be pretty easy since we have not been married long and we have nothing joint. These are the things I think about as I am an anal retentive organized person.

[lotsahats]

Oh my, I wish it were easier said than done! I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders! I'm so nervous and worried about everything, being questioned on things when I do file, etc. etc... The fear of the unknown for me is so frightening with this. Since I'm planning to file alone without my wife, I don't want her to be involved. That should be pretty easy since we have not been married long and we have nothing joint. These are the things I think about as I am an anal retentive organized person.

I know. I was there. If you read my posts, you'll see how crazy I made myself, worrying about every little thing. Here's one of my favorites:

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.ph...-ill-prepared.

I filed without my husband, and, yes, the trustee did ask why he wasn't filing. I just told her honestly that there was no need for him to, because he had no debt, and that was that.

Just be honest, and everything will be fine.

When do you plan on filing? If I were you, I'd do it ASAP, before you drive yourself mad (I'm speaking from experience).

[duraflame]

I know. I was there. If you read my posts, you'll see how crazy I made myself, worrying about every little thing. I filed without my husband, and, yes, the trustee did ask why he wasn't filing. I just told her honestly that there was no need for him to, because he had no debt, and that was that.

Just be honest, and everything will be fine.

When do you plan on filing?

Thank-you.

I hope to hold out until August. As much as I've read on here and online, most trustees will want 6 months of bank records? Anyway, since I closed all of mine out 1st of February I was thinking the less I have to produce the better. I don't have anything in my name now at all except for a Vespa scooter. I live in my wife's house that's in her name only and have no car anymore since it was just taken back by the bank.

The car repo is what scares me the worst. It was through my credit union and was just recently auctioned. I know they'll come after me for the deficiency and when I can't pay that they will try to sue me and I'll have to go to court or get a judgment against me... not sure, but hoping that can hold off til August. The CC companies are not calling so that is good.

I know that in the end this is the best thing for me, but I'm borderline hypochondriac.