Please help.

[BRASMAN]

This is kind of a lame post I know but I have to ask. Can I get my life back on track after a chapter 13 at age 40? I have been dumb and completely trusted my spouse with our finances and for the past ten years they built massive amounts of debt in our name. It looks like I can keep my house but I just have this horrible fear that something will happen in the next five years that will cause me to default on the BK agreement and loose everything. I am fighting extreme depression about this and although its corny I just had to ask people who have also been though it if it can be done. Any one here file at age forty or after for chapter 13? Thanks.

[99lawdog99]

40 is nothing now a days. let the Bk clean up your life and you'll have plenty of time to begin again. hang in there.

[TheBajan]

My husband and I just filed in Feb. We are both closer to 50 than 40. Just get on a good solid budget and regardless of what your plan payment is, intentionally live on less than you make. You can do this!

[LadyInTheRed]

I'm 43 and filed BK 2 years ago. With 3 years left in Chap 13, my life is already on a much better track. I have more cash to spend every month than before I filed. Instead of working to pay off credit card debt, I am contributing more to my 401k than I ever have. I'm stripping an $88K second mortgage and am on track to have the 1st paid off before I retire. My credit is already improving, but that doesn't mean much to me anyway.

For the first time in my life, it looks like I will be able to have a comfortable retirement in 25 to 30 years instead of working the rest of my life as a slave to the credit card companies. Yes, 25 or 30 years. That's a long way away! I plan to enjoy many debt free years before and after that.

There is always a chance something can happen to keep me from completing my plan. But, there is no point in fearing what might happen unless and until there is something I can do about it. If I lose my job or something else happens, I'll go see my attorney and decide how best to go forward. Maybe it will mean converting to or filing a Chap 7. It won't be the end of the world and it won't mean I'll lose everything.

This is the second post by somebody near my age in the last couple of weeks thinking they are too old to file BK. You people are going to start making me feel old! Stop it! Go jump on a bed or something! But, be carefull and don't pull a muscle.

ETA: Welcome to the forum, Brasman. Read more posts here and ask more questions. Maybe we can help get you over your very common fear of Chap 13.

[kornellred]

I think you need to be careful about who you blame for your financial troubles - not that blaming is necessary or desirable, but you seem to indicate that it was your spouse who is primarily responsible for your mutual indebtedness. Financial difficulties are a major factor in relationships that go bad. You did not mention if your spouse is the male or female part of the union. Females are far more sensible when it comes to fiscal matters, but that is too much of a digression with respect to this posting.
I would say "getting your life back on track" would definitely involve, at a minimum, discussing every single expenditure with your spouse. Bankruptcy is the singular solution to problems of indebtedness. Not making the same mistake twice will require cooperation. Age has nothing to do with it. No one knows what the future holds, but we do know what happens when people in intimate relationships fail to communicate.

[BRASMAN]

Thank you for the info everyone. I greatly appriciate it.

[BRASMAN]

I think you need to be careful about who you blame for your financial troubles - not that blaming is necessary or desirable, but you seem to indicate that it was your spouse who is primarily responsible for your mutual indebtedness. Financial difficulties are a major factor in relationships that go bad. You did not mention if your spouse is the male or female part of the union. Females are far more sensible when it comes to fiscal matters, but that is too much of a digression with respect to this posting.
I would say "getting your life back on track" would definitely involve, at a minimum, discussing every single expenditure with your spouse. Bankruptcy is the singular solution to problems of indebtedness. Not making the same mistake twice will require cooperation. Age has nothing to do with it. No one knows what the future holds, but we do know what happens when people in intimate relationships fail to communicate.

Yes it was my wife that hid things and ran up our debt. I literaly had no clue. Laugh if you want but its true. Yes I am dumb for never looking.

[karm43]

I just tell myself it has to be better in the end, 44 and 4yr 10 months left everyone hope they make it until the end. Sometimes no other choice. Good luck! Your not the only one who gets depressed.

[Drazil65]

Think of it this way, 5 years is going to come whether you file or not. So you can be at a much better place at the point when it comes or you can be 5 years older and still asking if you are too old to file! So why not take the chance that things will be much better then to sit and wonder for the next 5 years if you should have gone ahead and filed? Think about how fast the last 5 years have gone...Good Luck!

[ValleYum]

Think of it this way, 5 years is going to come whether you file or not. So you can be at a much better place at the point when it comes or you can be 5 years older and still asking if you are too old to file! So why not take the chance that things will be much better then to sit and wonder for the next 5 years if you should have gone ahead and filed? Think about how fast the last 5 years have gone...Good Luck!

This x1000!! The time will come and GO. I would rather look back at 45 and know the debt was behind me than see it stretching infinitely ahead of me at 45.

I will mention my opinion here and it is said with the utmost kindness meant to you, Brasman: You and your wife need to talk, find out what went wrong and how to avoid it happening again, set goals, budget and plan your financial future. Chapter 13 will be really hard if you don't.

Do you know what happened to the money and why the debt was accumulated? If there is an underlying issue like too much shopping or gambling (NO disrespect meant AT ALL), a bankruptcy may not help unless that issue is addressed and corrected.

Welcome to the forum - we are all here for each other. I think you picked a great place to ask your questions.

[AngelinaCat]

I will mention my opinion here and it is said with the utmost kindness meant to you, Brasman: You and your wife need to talk, find out what went wrong and how to avoid it happening again, set goals, budget and plan your financial future.

I will echo this. When my husband and I went to pre-marriage counseling, before we could marry in my church, the overriding theme in most of the sessions was: 'how you and your intended mate handle money is what will make or break your relationship. Not infidelity, not gambling, drinking, or any of the expected 'sins', but how the two of you handle or do NOT handle money.

And this involves clear and open communication.

Good wishes to you, and welcome to the forum.

[pamkev]

My hubby and I are over 50 (barely LOL) and this has brought us closer together we were drifting apart. My husband works the 3-11 shift I work the day shift and then a part time job over the weekend/weeknights so we could stay on top of the bills so we never saw each other, we were two ship that past in the night. We never saw each other to talk about money and when we did we were not talking if you get my meaning. We both were spending way out of control more me than him, finally I had enough and in Feb of this year made it a point to be off a weekend and sat and talked to him that this could not go on we would never get ahead the cc kept raising our interest rates even though we were never late and had been with them for years and also thank you Mr President we bailed them out and this was the thanks we were getting, seems like they could not handle money and we got the punishment. We also had medical bills due to my breast cancer which I am now 7 years free Okay enough of that rant back to the original program. The initial talk was not pretty but it has led us to a more happy marriage and now a budget we live on where each of us know what money is going where. The choice to file BK has given us our lives back. I don't work weeknights after my full time job now and only on 1 weekend day a week the other to spend with each other and our grand kids We will get thought this together.
To the OP and I know this might sound cruel but before you start the blame game and it's all your wife's fault you must take some responsibility here also. You could have looked at the bills or asked to sit down and talk about them look at the checkbook or something, you knew the income coming in and if you had a twinge of how are we affording all of this that would have been a sign. We all make mistakes and if you and your wife can sit and talk about this and choose which way to go and work together 5 years will go in a flash then you will look back at this as a new beginning for your marriage as well as your finances

[tobee43]

I'm 43 and filed BK 2 years ago. .

YOU LOOK SO GOOD for 43!

[Tater]

I'm 39 and my husband is nearly 50 and filing bankruptcy was the best business decision for us. Yes, it makes you look at both of your financial mistakes and it is a hard process to go through. Without it, we would work the rest of our lives to pay off the debt. It is a chance to get our lives back and focus on saving more for retirement. My husband hasn't contributed the max to his 401k in a few years and once we are discharged, that is going to change. We really had to be open and honest with each other about our spending habits, debt issues, and other factors that led us to the bankruptcy path. We are closer because of it and finally have a sense of relief.

We are not having to file a Chapter 13 but we were preparing ourselves if we had to. Five years is not a long time in the grand scheme of things. At age 45, you could be free and clear of unsecured debt. Like others have suggested, you will need to really talk with your wife about what is going on. My husband and I look at this as a true fresh start, are changing the bad habits, and have a budget that we live by. It's tough but for us, it was the only choice we really had, and it does have a positive outcome.

[PANSYFACE]

we are in our sixties and looking forward to keeping ourselves debt-free for the next 20years - give or take. It's NEVER to late to begin again.
we have no family, kids just our two cats and each other and that's good enough for us.

Think of people who started new careers very late in life - Grandma Moses for example. There's no reason to just lay down and die - move forward - you are only 40!!!!!

Best of luck!