Kids and BK

[krielly]

Our son was 14 when we filed 2 1/2 years ago.
He knew something was up, as we spent many evenings at the kitchen table going over all of the correspondence we needed.
One night - a few weeks later he said "Mom, are we going to lose the house or something". I wanted to cry...............I told him "no" we weren't going to lose the house. Then he said "are we poor". I said no we're not poor. We have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, clothes on our back and cars to drive. I told him we are SO fortunate to have what we have and to have eachother.

I did not and still haven't told him about the BK. I explained that Dad & I had made some bad decisions about spending money, but we were "all done" with that, and turning over a new leaf. I told him we were organizing all of our bills and were going to be living on a budget from now on and NOT using any more credit cards but were going to concentrate on paying off our bills and not buying things unless we really needed them, and could pay cash for them. I assured him that he would not go without anything he needed and that he did not need to worry about things because we had a plan. (Although I didn't say a "13" plan)

In my opinion this is OUR worry, not his. He knows the basics, as mentioned above, but that's it. I haven't heard a peep out of him about it since.

K

[freakedout]

Does anyone know what happens to a kid's possessions that they received as gifts. My son has an 40 in lcd tv, wii, ps3, computer etc that he received over the years from his grandma. Do I need to list those as our assets. Will we be forced to sell those

[woeisme]

I know it's your 1st post "freakedout", but one of the rules of the forum is that you aren't supposed to post to "dead" threads like this one, that was last posted to in March of 2008. It's good you are searching and going back to look at others posts though. In the future you might just want to start a new thread with your question.

If you have enough exemptions to cover your household possessions, you won't have to sell them when you file. Each state has it's own exemptions, so it will depend on your state allowances and how much other things you have that you are trying to protect. But it's pretty unlikely you'll have to liquidate those assets. In a CH 13, it's even less likely, the trustee is going to be looking at your income and liquid assets much more closely than a 2 year old Wii.

[frogger]

Our kids are in the 21-26 age range. They are all aware of what is going on, are all very supportive, and all looking forward to us getting filed and finished. We're almost finished getting them educated and all will be out of college DEBT FREE. They're getting a good clean start without the debt that we have.

[JRScott]

Be Honest with your children. You will not be able to maintain their lifestyle through and after a bankruptcy in most cases. They need to realize that they will not be getting as much stuff from Santa, birthdays, tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc and it has nothing to do with them being bad or good but that you simply can't afford to do as much now. You need to lower their expectations. Older children obviously can digest and understand more but it is important that all in the household are aware of what is going on to the level they can understand it. You don't have to mention bankruptcy necessarily, you could point to the economic downturn. But I do fully believe you need to engage your children on the issue.

[Crozier]

This is a great thread.

It is very comforting to see that we all are learning from this experience, and hopefully giving our kids a better education about personal finances. Like all of you, I have kids as well, two teen age girls. It is amazing how these two designer this, name brand that, mega-texters have become acclimated to our minimalist lifestyle. What is more surprising, is how we have bonded as a family doing the simpler things in life; together. The nightly walk after dinner, actually watching TV together as a unit, and the family dinner dates (at home) have been wonderful. We even started a family Monopoly tournament. Sounds corny, but, it is actually very interesting, and fun. The game has actually helped me discuss money issues with my kids.

I'm not a family psychologist (although I would like to play one on TV), but, just being together is better than anything money can buy.

I wish you all the best.