I have told very few people about my BK because I do not like to discuss my private financial matters, even with people close to me like family. (and some of my family would be very judgemental if they knew I had filed, so I admit that some of my secrecy has been to save face, not just that I am a private person.)
Anyhow, my husband and I both work decent jobs and make a good living, and my family/friends don't know about the financial problems we've had (some medical, big student loans, but mostly just living beyond our means for way too long). So Christmas was tricky because we just didn't have the money to spend that we usually do, but we managed by really cutting back on the stuff my husband and I usually get each other and then I got a little bonus at work that really helped, and then I was super careful about sales and getting the best prices on everything, so I don't think it was too obvious to anyone else that we weren't spending nearly as much as usual this year.
But now we have a major event coming up, my oldest niece is graduating from law school in May. The whole family (siblings, parents, etc) are flying out to Phoenix for the big celebration. And this is my favorite niece, we're pretty close (I used to live out in Arizona when she was a kid growing up, and my oldest sister and I were her role models since we're the only ones in our family to go to college and I even went on to get an advanced degree so have been the one who could "relate" to her struggles in school over the years, etc.) But it's going to cost a fortune in airline tickets, hotel room since everyone will be there and there just won't be room to house everyone, a rental car, etc., and have to decide which is more important, my pride and "image" within the family, which will take serious hits if I tell them I can't go because I couldn't get my financial house in order and now all my disposable income for the next 5 years goes to the CH 13 trustee, or risking hurting my niece's feelings by not really explaining why I can't come. Actually, I could go if I used my tax return to do it, but it would leave us with nothing in savings and we have very old, high milage cars that constantly threaten to break down on us, so I really don't want to blow the little bit of backup funds we have now. And next year another niece in Phoenix is getting married... so even if I do scrape and scrimp to make it to the graduation I'm going to feel even more pressure to do the same to make it to the wedding next year or else the younger niece will think I'm playing "favorites" since I've always had more in common with her older sister.
Oh well, not really looking for advice, since I know what my options are, I just have to bite the bullet and choose one. Guess I just wanted to get it off my chest and see if anyone else has gone through similar problems with trying to keep their BK private while dealing with family's expectations to spend money? Thanks!
Anyhow, my husband and I both work decent jobs and make a good living, and my family/friends don't know about the financial problems we've had (some medical, big student loans, but mostly just living beyond our means for way too long). So Christmas was tricky because we just didn't have the money to spend that we usually do, but we managed by really cutting back on the stuff my husband and I usually get each other and then I got a little bonus at work that really helped, and then I was super careful about sales and getting the best prices on everything, so I don't think it was too obvious to anyone else that we weren't spending nearly as much as usual this year.
But now we have a major event coming up, my oldest niece is graduating from law school in May. The whole family (siblings, parents, etc) are flying out to Phoenix for the big celebration. And this is my favorite niece, we're pretty close (I used to live out in Arizona when she was a kid growing up, and my oldest sister and I were her role models since we're the only ones in our family to go to college and I even went on to get an advanced degree so have been the one who could "relate" to her struggles in school over the years, etc.) But it's going to cost a fortune in airline tickets, hotel room since everyone will be there and there just won't be room to house everyone, a rental car, etc., and have to decide which is more important, my pride and "image" within the family, which will take serious hits if I tell them I can't go because I couldn't get my financial house in order and now all my disposable income for the next 5 years goes to the CH 13 trustee, or risking hurting my niece's feelings by not really explaining why I can't come. Actually, I could go if I used my tax return to do it, but it would leave us with nothing in savings and we have very old, high milage cars that constantly threaten to break down on us, so I really don't want to blow the little bit of backup funds we have now. And next year another niece in Phoenix is getting married... so even if I do scrape and scrimp to make it to the graduation I'm going to feel even more pressure to do the same to make it to the wedding next year or else the younger niece will think I'm playing "favorites" since I've always had more in common with her older sister.
Oh well, not really looking for advice, since I know what my options are, I just have to bite the bullet and choose one. Guess I just wanted to get it off my chest and see if anyone else has gone through similar problems with trying to keep their BK private while dealing with family's expectations to spend money? Thanks!
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