any help or words of encouragement please?

[bkgirl24]

Hi, my husband and I are in our mid 20s and have two kids. we have accumulated way too much debt in our 4 years of marriage and my husband recently lost his job and was hired on shortly after but isn't making as much as he was, we had to move out of the home we own and are renting it out and renting something much cheaper. we had tried to sell our home for an entire year and owe more on it then its worth. we have been struggling for about 6 months now barely paying all of our monthly payments. we finally have got serious and decided its time to file. we have over 20,000 dollars in cc bills and medical bills we just feel like we are drowning and dont know how to get out of it. our car payment is so high and i just dont know how to go about it.. i feel like the meeting with a lawyer didn't go like i wanted it to because i still feel so confused about it. what happens when we stop paying our credit cards and medical bills and how long do we have before something bad happens?

[Drazil65]

Hi, its normal to feel confused and overwelmed in the beginning. You have a good start in that you have already talked to an attorney, make a couple more appointments and ask alot of questions until you are no longer confused. The more you know about your own situation that better you will feel about what you need to do. Once you begin to understand what got you to this point and have the information you need to make a decision one way or another, you will start to feel like you have control again. Read everything here you can and make those appointments.

[pamkev]

We all felt the same way you did at one time. Like the above poster stated read everything on these boards. Talk to many lawyers till you find one you feel at ease with. Just know when you stop paying the cc the phone calls will begin so sign up for google voice and give that number to the cc companies to call it will keep you sane. Once we made the choice to start this process it was the like a burden was lifted so much less stress then trying to figure ourt hoe to heat our home buy food or pay those bills. Please remember one thing I learn from this boards take the emotions out of it and treat it like a business and many rich and famous people and companies have filed BK your not the first and won't be the last. Come back often we are here to support you Pam

[buffetbuster]

First off, welcome to the forum. This forum is an awesome place with lots of experiences from members who have been in your shoes. Be sure to read as many posts as you can and ask any questions you may have.

My wife and I had about 60k in credit card debt when we filed. We were using our CC's to pay utility, robbing Peter to pay Paul, never having anything in the bank at the end of the month. Once we talked to our attorney and decided we were going to pull the trigger and finally file, with our attorneys advice we stopped paying all of our credit cards. I had stopped paying on a couple for about 8 months prior to talking to our attorney, and had them suing me. Don't worry if you get to that point, that is nothing to worry about. After all the Robo calls, the threatening letters and creditor call, the Sherrif's department arrived at my house with a form saying I was being sued by my credit card companies for what I owed them. I had the opportunity to go to court to face the creditors, but didn't. If you don't show up, nothing bad will happen, they will get a "default judgment" against you meaning you owe them the money. I was scared I would go to jail for this debt, but my attorney put our fears to rest when he said there is no such thing as a "debtor's prison". He said, "do you owe the money." I said yes. He said "can you pay it back." I said no. He said, don't go...they'll get a default judgment against you, which will be eliminated in the BK.

Filing BK was the best thing we could've ever done. We got married in 2006, and as sad as it is, lived in debt hell for 6 years. I had creditors calling me on my cell phone at the hostpital, the day my daughter was born. That's the straw that broke the camels back. We now have everything paid up, have spending money, and actually have money in the bank. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's confusing and scary right now, but trust me, things will look up, especially once you file and your phone becomes eerily quiet (and not because the bill wasn't paid) since the creditor's can't contact you anymore. BK is a marathon, not a sprint. Be patient, take your time, talk to a couple different attorneys and things will be better. Guranteed! Good luck!

[btbeme]

Let's tough on these one by one...

First, the overwhelming feeling. Everyone has been there, trust me. The most important thing to do is to take positive action and not ignore your circumstances. I posted a summary of my pre-filing thoughts here.

Second, my suggestion is to address your life after BK. Suppose your medical and credit card bills were gone. Then what? Can you still afford the car payment? The house payment? If not, you will need to plan your filing to address those needs. As you move foreword, we can help by making suggestions for you to discuss with your attorney as to whether to keep or bail on the house, how to keep transportation, etc.

Thirdly, you should start consulting with prospective attorneys as soon as possible. While it typically takes at least 4-6 months for something "bad" to happen with unsecured debts (like getting sued for a wage garnishment), and these can all be addressed in the BK filing, it might take 4-6 months - or longer - to shape your filing properly so it flies through with no issues. You can get a much better plan by consulting with a few attorneys.

Last, do not get yourself into a situation where you have to file in a big hurry. Plan ahead. Get your ducks in order. Make your future plans for budgets and living. Then file and be done with it.

[hmsmith]

Welcome to the forum. I felt the same way as you did, very overwhelmed with our bills and debt and I didn't know what to do. Our attorney advised us to stop paying our credit bills as well since we were going to file---and many people use that money that would have went to their creditors to pay their bankruptcy lawyers. Looking back, I wish I had known that once you stop paying them, there is really no way out other than to proceed with the bankruptcy ( i suppose there is if you can afford to pay all the late fees but they make it almost impossible---if you can barely afford your mininum payments how can you afford to be several months behind?) . Even after we stopped paying for a couple months I was scared and wanted to turn back the hands of time and try to put bankruptcy off for a few more years. I just didn't like dealing with the stress of the phone calls and wondering if the creditor would sue me. My attorney also said we would have awhile before we got sued....we stopped paying about 5 months before we filed and we never got any judgements or sued by any of them. I've read some people stop a year or longer before filing bankruptcy.

I would talk to an attorney about your house and your car, you can include them in the bankruptcy if you need to. Sometimes they can do what's called a redemption loan on your car and you can possibly get your payments lowered if you had high interest rates or owe more than it's worth. I would ask your attorney and talk to a few of them before you decide. they should be willing to spend the time with you to answer any questions that you may have....tell them your concerns and they should be able to advise you. Also this forum is very helpful...there are many of us who are or were in very similar situations, you are not alone.

And if you do file bankruptcy, just learning about credit, budgeting, and not going back down that same road is key for the future! I thought filing bankruptcy would solve all our problems- but for us, learning how to change our spending has also proved to be difficult, but we're learning, one step at a time, to make positive changes for our future! It will get better!! Once you make your decision you will probably feel a bit of relief!

[nceguyfromne]

Hi, my husband and I are in our mid 20s and have two kids. we have accumulated way too much debt in our 4 years of marriage and my husband recently lost his job and was hired on shortly after but isn't making as much as he was, we had to move out of the home we own and are renting it out and renting something much cheaper. we had tried to sell our home for an entire year and owe more on it then its worth. we have been struggling for about 6 months now barely paying all of our monthly payments. we finally have got serious and decided its time to file. we have over 20,000 dollars in cc bills and medical bills we just feel like we are drowning and dont know how to get out of it. our car payment is so high and i just dont know how to go about it.. i feel like the meeting with a lawyer didn't go like i wanted it to because i still feel so confused about it. what happens when we stop paying our credit cards and medical bills and how long do we have before something bad happens?

You have already taken the most important steps by recognizing your financial issues, deciding how you are going to resolve them and beginning your attorney search. It took me over 3 years to reach that point and it is wasted time and money I can never get back.

The absolute worst that could happen after you stop making your monthly payments is one or more of your creditors will sue you in your local district court for what you owe and get judgments. If that happens, your bankruptcy will wipe them out. If you are able to file within 3 to 5 months of when you stop making payments then you shouldn't need to worry about that happening. Most credit card companies won't even send you to collections until the 90 day mark. The only company that ever sent mine at all was Amex, and that was probably because I owed $25K to them alone. I got a couple early stage letters from their collection "attorneys" before filing my case and that was the end of it. I never had to worry about them again.

Regardless of how the timing goes, being freed from your crippling financial burdens will outweigh any minor inconveniences from collection calls or a possible judgment lawsuit.

[AngelinaCat]

Hi bkgirl24. I can't possibly add anything to the excellent posts above, except, welcome to the Forum. Read and ask questions, and schedule several more attorney consultations.

[jst4f]

Welcome to the forum. Like the earlier post on this thread, the forum is full of great information. You only to search, read and asked questions. Remember you may have a contractual obligaton to the cc companies and the banks but youor moral obligation is to yourself and your family. Don't let the cc companies, banks, friends or family convince you otherwise. BK was the best business decision we have made in a long time. Best of luck and keep us posted.