Chase collection funnies

[swampwiz]

OK, I got my first human call from Chase. I was advised that I should look to borrow money from friends and family, or withdraw money from my retirement accounts. I responded back that something I could possibly do is to have Chase lend me some money in a different loan so that I could make the payments to my current Chase account, and perhaps even some other accounts for which that I was also delinquent.

I was also told that I should get a part time job to earn money to payoff the debt, as not paying off the debt would harm my credit score (OOOOHH!) I then responded that I considered my options for getting the money, and had determined that the only way I could come up with the money was to rob a bank, but that I had made a calculated decision that the risks of robbing such bank - possibly being shot or harming others, and probably being arrested and sent to prison for a long time - outweighed the gain of me keeping my credit score high. I then asked for Chase's opinion on this calculation.

I then asked that Chase make it as easy as possible for me to pay off the debt by essentially suspending the late fees and putting my interest rate at 0% - something similar to what I, as a taxpayer, did for Chase via the Federal Reserve lowering the interest rate to 0 to 1/4% as well as the TARP funding. I was told that Chase could not do that for me since it would go against policy.

Right about that time, my internet phone acted up, and I had to hang up.

[kenshirley]

The people assigned to do collections will tell you anything to get your money.
If you think that's bad, tell them you are considering filing a BK. Will they try to cut you deals!

[Chowder]

ok, i got my first human call from chase. I was advised that i should look to borrow money from friends and family, or withdraw money from my retirement accounts. I responded back that something i could possibly do is to have chase lend me some money in a different loan so that i could make the payments to my current chase account, and perhaps even some other accounts for which that i was also delinquent.

I was also told that i should get a part time job to earn money to payoff the debt, as not paying off the debt would harm my credit score (oooohh!) i then responded that i considered my options for getting the money, and had determined that the only way i could come up with the money was to rob a bank, but that i had made a calculated decision that the risks of robbing such bank - possibly being shot or harming others, and probably being arrested and sent to prison for a long time - outweighed the gain of me keeping my credit score high. I then asked for chase's opinion on this calculation.

I then asked that chase make it as easy as possible for me to pay off the debt by essentially suspending the late fees and putting my interest rate at 0% - something similar to what i, as a taxpayer, did for chase via the federal reserve lowering the interest rate to 0 to 1/4% as well as the tarp funding. I was told that chase could not do that for me since it would go against policy.

Right about that time, my internet phone acted up, and i had to hang up.

nice!

[swampwiz]

The people assigned to do collections will tell you anything to get your money.
If you think that's bad, tell them you are considering filing a BK. Will they try to cut you deals!

Actually, I had mentioned that I had preliminary talks about BK, but that I had not committed to it. Once I mentioned that, I was told that I could get a "deal". Perhaps I will now start getting call from a "dealer" rep.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Well! I am astonished. Creative, informatory, funny, practical, well thought out.

There IS hope for you 'wiz. 'Hub

[AngelinaCat]

Actually, if you want to have some fun, do as some other posters have done, and go online and fill in Chase's 800 phone number into YOUR contact info. Then Chase gets to call themselves all day long......

[swampwiz]

Well! I am astonished. Creative, informatory, funny, practical, well thought out.

There IS hope for you 'wiz. 'Hub

The aspects of my personality of securing overwhelming information that make me distasteful at times is very close to those aspects from which derive my super knowledgeable smart aleck side. I can wear down *anyone* in a debate or sales presentation.

[music12]

well! i know some are astonished, but i really am not. i always thought that asking a zillion questions in a zillion different ways is the way to success. i believe i even said so when you started posting. and here you are, a bkforum success story! now just please don't leave us

[OhioFiler]

The aspects of my personality of securing overwhelming information that make me distasteful at times is very close to those aspects from which derive my super knowledgeable smart aleck side. I can wear down *anyone* in a debate or sales presentation.

Don't bet the last of your $92K grant on that swampy.

[Flamingo]

The aspects of my personality of securing overwhelming information that make me distasteful at times is very close to those aspects from which derive my super knowledgeable smart aleck side. I can wear down *anyone* in a debate or sales presentation.

With the way you've been doing it with past all over the place not making sense postings on here, you wouldn't last a second out in the real world...you'd get the attention you need but would be ripped to shreds...

[backtoschool]

OK, I got my first human call from Chase. I was advised that I should look to borrow money from friends and family, or withdraw money from my retirement accounts. I responded back that something I could possibly do is to have Chase lend me some money in a different loan so that I could make the payments to my current Chase account, and perhaps even some other accounts for which that I was also delinquent.

I was also told that I should get a part time job to earn money to payoff the debt, as not paying off the debt would harm my credit score (OOOOHH!) I then responded that I considered my options for getting the money, and had determined that the only way I could come up with the money was to rob a bank, but that I had made a calculated decision that the risks of robbing such bank - possibly being shot or harming others, and probably being arrested and sent to prison for a long time - outweighed the gain of me keeping my credit score high. I then asked for Chase's opinion on this calculation.

I then asked that Chase make it as easy as possible for me to pay off the debt by essentially suspending the late fees and putting my interest rate at 0% - something similar to what I, as a taxpayer, did for Chase via the Federal Reserve lowering the interest rate to 0 to 1/4% as well as the TARP funding. I was told that Chase could not do that for me since it would go against policy.

Right about that time, my internet phone acted up, and I had to hang up.

Ok swampwiz, I hate to encourage you but I have to admit this is hilarious.

[backtoschool]

With the way you've been doing it with past all over the place not making sense postings on here, you wouldn't last a second out in the real world...you'd get the attention you need but would be ripped to shreds...

I have to agree with Flamingo on this. I wouldn't try your skills in nyc anytime soon.

[hereforinfo]

I then asked that Chase make it as easy as possible for me to pay off the debt by essentially suspending the late fees and putting my interest rate at 0% - something similar to what I, as a taxpayer, did for Chase via the Federal Reserve lowering the interest rate to 0 to 1/4% as well as the TARP funding. I was told that Chase could not do that for me since it would go against policy.

You consider yourself a taxpayer? When is the last time you paid taxes?

[drowningNdebt]

You come up with some weird, funky threads

Wondering what your trustee is going to think if you use all these remarks and tactics with he/she