How do you not go crazy?

[CCB35]

My spouse couldnt deal with being in bankruptcty,We have been apart after about year 3 .Its hard to deal with ,it takes a strong person to change their lifestyle in a chapter 13.I could deal with staying home all the time,not having much money for groceries,no money for vacations etc.I am planning a divorce as soon as this is over,If she could have dealt with this better at the end we would have been debt free and been able to have what we wanted together.

[chicagoed195]

Although other folks(mostly not on this forum) might not entirely agree with my thinking, I got over the initial angst over filing once I reconciled to myself that it really was only a business decision. I was better off having filed than I ever would have been if I had not. Everyone else out there on the other side was only interested in serving their own interests without any concerns about me or any of my other creditors. It was always give me as much as you can at the expense of everyone else.

Once I figured out that the path to financial salvation could only be reached through bankruptcy, I overcame the misplaced feelings that I should have been able to solve the problem in some other fashion. BOA, Am Ex, etc are not going to go out of business because I filed and they certainly are not going to put food on my table when I am contemplating retirement. The only one who is going to take care of me is me.

[disconapper]

Although other folks(mostly not on this forum) might not entirely agree with my thinking, I got over the initial angst over filing once I reconciled to myself that it really was only a business decision. I was better off having filed than I ever would have been if I had not. Everyone else out there on the other side was only interested in serving their own interests without any concerns about me or any of my other creditors. It was always give me as much as you can at the expense of everyone else.

Once I figured out that the path to financial salvation could only be reached through bankruptcy, I overcame the misplaced feelings that I should have been able to solve the problem in some other fashion. BOA, Am Ex, etc are not going to go out of business because I filed and they certainly are not going to put food on my table when I am contemplating retirement. The only one who is going to take care of me is me.

Wonderfully stated chicagoed195. After the initial feelings of failure etc, I approached it as a business decision as well. It will be nice to be debt free. So I've filed bankruptcy...there's no shame in that game (although it's not a game, I'm just trying to be clever).

Five years from now, or sooner, when I'm sitting pretty financially, I'll probably laugh at myself as to why I ever questioned my decision.

And the knowledge about finances that all of us have learned from filing is priceless, absolutely priceless. Its a tough lesson to learn but in the end it's worth it.

[addisonsmom]

It gets easier, or at least it did for me. We elected to surrender my house and SUV to make things easier. We made too much money to file a Ch. 7. We have just managed to cut back on things and take a deep breath. Actually, for me, it is better. Life was spinning out of control. For the first time in my life, I feel in control of the money, not the other way around. Granted, we did give up a lot. I miss some things, but again it is not worth the stress that came with it all. I was a nervous wreck and afraid. I am glad to say that it has changed my life. I will never make those same mistakes that I made again. Losing my job wasn't my fault, but my out-of-control spending was. You will get through this. Best of luck.