In less than 24 hours I will have signed the papers with the attorney. I don't know why this makes me nervous, but it does. I am very comfortable with my lawyer, but this is a huge step. Once it is done, the papers will be filed and it will be official. "I have fined for bankruptcy!". Wow! Never thought I'd be here.
I am going to be 46 next month and although I have struggled to be a responsible, respectable person I am having to shout to the world "I couldn't manage my money!".
So many thoughts and emotions running through my head:
"How did this happen?"
"I will be debt free soon!!"
"I am embarrassed!"
"I think this is the right thing to do."
"I'm scared, and hope I don't cry at the 341 just from nerves" *how sad would that be?*
I JUST WANT IT OVER AND BEHIND ME!!
So there it is, the thoughts of a stressed out person about to give myself a black mark on the credit I have struggled SO very much to obtain and maintain. I did this to myself, and I am signing those docs tomorrow...and will allow the big "deadbeat" sign on my own credit report for the next 10 effing years!!!
**no offense meant to anybody by the "deadbeat" comment, it is just how I am feeling today**
But then again...my heart beats with anticipation at the thought of being debt free with no credit cards to deal with. (or fall back on). I am going to learn to do a budget, and follow it to the best of my ability. This financial mess will never be repeated in my lifetime!!!
One day at a time! I will get through this!