My debt racked up over the years, and I think I knew I was in trouble years ago. But denial was so easy. "It will get better when XXX" Somehow, it was like taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. I tried everything to make the debt easier to deal with. I took out a 401k loan, paid on cards. Obtained a HELOC, to pay on cards.

The one thing I was doing, without really realizing it was increasing my monthly payments, which lessened my available cash, which caused me to charge to get through the month. Not every month, but certainly stuff like car/house insurance, property tax, propane bill.

Finally, I realized that the cycle has gotten out of control and I needed help. I talked to a lawyer and decided to file bankruptcy. It was a tough decision to arrive at, but one I feel was the only way to stop the never-ending financial free-fall I was in. I want control back!

So on 8-7-09 I sign the petition with the lawyer. The phone has been ringing, but I do not answer it. As of July 3rd, everything was paid and not a thing was late. That was the last day I could say "Everything was paid".

I am nervous about the process, but excited at the prospect of being free from the credit cards. I HATE how they change the rules, increase interest rates, and minimum payments. I didn't change the rules, they did! I have no pity for them, although in some ways I feel disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen to begin with.

Life goes on....

more later.