Physically sick over situation?

[dano100]

Has anyone become physically sick over their financial situation? When my wife first lost her job in early May I was overcome with a feeling of impending doom. I became so depressed that I had no appetite and lost 15 lbs. in a month. I couldn't sleep more than 3-4 hours before waking up and lying in bed wide awake worrying about our future.

I became obsessed with getting our things in order incase I had a heart attack and died. Some days I wished that was the case.

Lately though things have been better. I am eating and sleeping much better. I still worry alot about our future but feel more hopeful than before. There isn't any reason for this as things haven't improved. Go figure......
Is this normal? An initial feeling of complete dispair then the load lightens a bit?

I imagine that if my wife doesn't find a job after her unemployment runs out and we cannot meet all our obligations and we are choosing between making payments or eating then the feelings of dispair may come back 10 fold.

[BassBoy]

Well, the initial feeling of dispair is a shock at first, but you kinda build up a tolerance to it and it becomes easier to cope with. It makes you stronger each time you wrestle with it.

As each day passes, it will get easier. Belive me, it will.

[anonymuse]

There is this classic list of Top 10 stressors:

Top Ten Stressors

1. Death of spouse (potentially BK-related)
2. Divorce (potentially BK-related)
3. Marital separation (potentially BK-related)
4. Jail term
5. Death of a close family member (potentially BK-related)
6. Personal injury or illness (potentially BK-related)
7. Marriage
8. Fired at work (potentially BK-related)
9. Marital reconciliation
10. Retirement

Usually, the people who are filing BK have had one or more of these happen to them. What I don't get is that financial difficulties is NOT on that list.

Come around here for support--we all try to help each other out as best we can.

Just realize, you are not alone feeling physically sick--most of us have gone through that aspect also along with depression. It goes in cycles depending on what stage you are in with filing, 341 meeting, payback, etc.

Hang in there!

EDIT: I had to go search the net for the whole list (devised in 1967)

11. Change in health of family member
12. Pregnancy (potentially BK-related)
13. Sex difficulties
14. Gain of a new family member (potentially BK-related)
15. Business readjustments (potentially BK-related)
16. Change in financial state (potentially BK-related)
17. Death of a close friend
18. Change to different line of work (potentially BK-related)
19. Change in no. of arguments with spouse
20. Mortgage over $ 50,000 HA HA! And this was 1967(potentially BK-related)
21. Foreclosure of mortgage (potentially BK-related)
22. Change in responsibilities at work (potentially BK-related)
23. Son or daughter leaving home
24. Trouble with in-laws
25. Outstanding Personal achievements
26. Wife begins or stops work Another out-of-date one(potentially BK-related)
27. Begin or end school
28. Change in living conditions (potentially BK-related)
29. Revision of personal habits
30. Trouble with boss
31. Change in work hours or conditions (potentially BK-related)
32. Change in residence (potentially BK-related)
33. Change in school
34. Change in recreation
35. Change in religious activities
36. Change in social activities
37. Loan less than 50,000
38. Change in sleeping habits
39. Change in no. of family get- together
40. Change in eating habits
41. Vacation
42. Holidays
43. Minor violation of laws

[Minnymouth]

BELIEVE ME - you are not alone in your feelings.............

All of us have struggled with this when we discovered everything was caving in on us.....

Now the hard part is making the decision whether to file bankruptcy or not and what options are available too you.

Whether you are thinking about it, planning on it, or just waiting to see how things go for the next few months...... BE KIND TO YOURSELF.......... consult an attorney for a free consultation (maybe 2 or 3 attorneys) and see what options are available and what the possible outcome would be if you filed bankruptcy in your particular case... It will help with some stress relief also.....

Then make your decisions from there......

By doing this you will know more about what you possess, what you owe, and how realistic is the fact that you could bounce back without having to file bankruptcy.

Put all you finances on paper or on quicken (pc) and do a graph and see where you stand....

When you see your income vs. expenses it will be an eye-opener and help you make the right decisions you need too.

NOT KNOWING is harder to cope with than really knowing what your up against. If you know, then you can confront it head on and make decisions.

We have all suffered the way you are right now................believe me..... And yes, it will make you sick, physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc..... All of it......

Filing bankrutpcy is not the end of the world...... and you usually keep all your possessions unless you have a large amount of assets and many of those are protected by law.... such as 401K, etc......

Save yourself and your family a lot of grief - check out your options - see where you stand..... and then take it from there.....

You will be a lot better off and in a better frame of mind..........

We're here if you need help, just need to chat, or have questions......

Feel free to ask.............

Minny

[dano100]

This forum is great. I feel such a connection to people I have not and will probably never meet. I don't know if any of you are in the habit of praying for strangers but I would appreciate your prayers. In turn, I am praying for each of you who has taken the time to reply to my posts.

God Bless each of you!

[lrprn]

Sounds like you haven't filed bk yet, dano100 - is that the case? If it is, the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to arrange for a few free consultations with reputable bankruptcy lawyers in your area who specialize in consumer bankruptcy. They can provide the facts about what may lie ahead for your family and help you determine if bankruptcy is your best option. Knowing what you are facing is easier to deal with than the "what if's" your mind makes up at 2 am not really knowing if the worry is justified or not.

From reading the posts here for months, it seems every one of us struggles with depression, anger, worry, and sadness around our bankruptcies to some degree. BassBoy is right - the emotional roller coaster can be very intense at first - this is where it sounds like you are at the moment. Once you and your wife make decisions about what is best to do in your unique financial situation, that does help.

Hang in there - remember that we are here for you when the going gets rough. You aren't alone.

[Minnymouth]

WE ARE FAMILY !!!!

YOUR BANKRUPTCY FAMILY TO HELP SUPPORT YOU AND OFFER SUGGESTIONS................

[anonymuse]

Okay, Minny--now I can't get this out of my head:

(CHORUS
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing

Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose

(CHORUS x2)

Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
(WE!) no we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
This is our family Jewel

(REPEAT CHORUS TO FADE)


We're a little nutty family sometimes, too!

[lrprn]

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." - Jane Howard, "Families"

SO TRUE! It's such a gift to have our bk family here to turn to for support and information when I need it most. THANKS, FAMILY!!

[anonymuse]

Love that quote! Ironic how we can dump to total strangers but not to our biological families sometimes.

[Minnymouth]

Yep, if people would only speak what's in their hearts to those they love the most....... what a great world it would be.........

[AMISLANDER]

I think there's even different stress points within the bk process itself...

...like I've been discharged but not closed and since I've got my 2005 refund check (which is going to trustee pr his request)...I've held it because of an IRS problem...waiting to hear from them, which has not yet happened...and now...needing something (tires, a necessity) and trying to figure out how to afford it...made me explode in another fashion over a pkg that Fed X never delivered to my office re: a department store purchase made by a condo owner who freaked & told my boss I wasn't being helpful...when in fact I've spent the past few days dealing with and tracking...well...I just broke down about 3 pm to day....it wasn't all to do with not being able to find the package, it was the tires, the bankruptcy....


...the inability to control my financial life which sends me into a tail spin because I've never "not met" my responsibilities...even when I did cocaine, I always paid my bills....always...now, no drugs, no money...no way to destress except w/legal alcohol...it really makes it "tight" in regards to how to handle the pressure....

...and there are always just the normal problems that everyone has added in....too hot, & I melted....so I


TOTALLY UNDERSTAND

[SinkingFast]

Has anyone become physically sick over their financial situation? When my wife first lost her job in early May I was overcome with a feeling of impending doom. I became so depressed that I had no appetite and lost 15 lbs. in a month. I couldn't sleep more than 3-4 hours before waking up and lying in bed wide awake worrying about our future.

I became obsessed with getting our things in order incase I had a heart attack and died. Some days I wished that was the case.

Lately though things have been better. I am eating and sleeping much better. I still worry alot about our future but feel more hopeful than before. There isn't any reason for this as things haven't improved. Go figure......
Is this normal? An initial feeling of complete dispair then the load lightens a bit?

I imagine that if my wife doesn't find a job after her unemployment runs out and we cannot meet all our obligations and we are choosing between making payments or eating then the feelings of dispair may come back 10 fold.

Been there, done that!

Sensitive to the debt reduction, tax fix, and credit score commercials on TV??!! Been there too.

Hate seeing CC's advertise all the fun great things you can buy and do with the freedom of a Chase or Citi or BoA MC/Visa on TV??!! Been there too.

The end of season, summer clearance ads for cars are killing me right now. Low interest. Cash incentives. Had to sell my car to pay Uncle Sam for '05. I want a car sooooo bad I can taste it.

It's all part of the process. And I think most, if not all of us, have gone thru it.

[jane taylor]

Oh, can I ever relate to everything that's been posted here!!! I've gained almost 15 lbs. in this process--I tend to be a "stress eater" and also the meds I take don't help. My hair even fell out, but thankfully, is growing back. I am sensitive to any use of the "B word" in any context and hate those credit score commercials with the geeky loooking dude!

Yes, I believe in the power of prayer!!! We have to lift each other up during this trying time or we will all go bananas.

Blessings to all!!
jane

[anonymuse]

Do what I do for stress--go for a date with Ben & Jerry! Personally, I like Mint Chocolate Cookie and Half Baked! LOL