A new question - you guys were such a help last year!

[confusedinok]

We went through a BK7 last summer. Things had been going pretty smoothly for a while til my husband started having issues over the winter. He now wants a divorce. I'm a stay at home mom with 7 kids. He's been threatening to file for the last several months, filed last week and then promptly canceled it. He's stringing me along and this is not going to last much longer. He's spending money uncontrollably at this point. I opened a private checking acct and have taken everything I can out of our joint acct (it's really not that much.) My question is I would really like to try and keep the house. We BK'd it but have been making regular payments until this month. Because of my husband's spending, I don't have enough to make the entire payment, most of it, but not all. This should hopefully only be this month and maybe next month. I'm going back to school in the fall and will have some money then. Should I call the bank and explain the situation? What should I do?

[kawh]

Before contacting the bank, is there a local church or charity that can help this month? If this is all the money you have, I'd want to stash it somewhere for a real future emergency and not even give it all to the mortgage company, if you can help it. Calling the bank would be my last choice, since they don't care about anything but getting their money and would not be likely to give you the best advice.

[AngelinaCat]

I certainly do hate to read this. I feel for you and your seven children. {{{HUGGS}}}

However, we did not have a mortgage situation in our BK, so I am going to leave that question for the members who have that experience.

You are wise to try to get as much put away now as you possibly can.

[pamkev]

I Have no answers for you just wanna to let you know how sorry I feel for you. Hope he has a good job with 7 kids he's gonna have heck of a child support payment.

Pam

[frogger]

Your man either needs to get his sh......t together, or you need to kick him to the curb. With him, you're being torn in all directions and have no money. Without him, he'll be paying child support for 7 kids and you'll be rid of his drama. You can also get assistance as a single mom with 7 children.

Don't take his b.s.

Either correct the problem, or he's got to go.

And if he's got to go, send him on his way..........

[Pjmax]

I am soooo sorry this is happening for you. I don't have any legal expertise to share, but you might give your BK attorney a call. He/she is familiar with your financial situation, and may be able to help with advice or at least point you in the right direction.
The one thing I do know, don't count on DH to straighten out. Start making plans for yourself and your kids, get legal advice ASAP before anything else happens, sock away every penny you can. I totally agree with Frogger, but be smart and think things through before you kick him to the curb. . . And as far as child support, if he's being irresponsible now, could take months or years to actually get him to cough up the CS.

[confusedinok]

Thanks for the support. I was hoping to hear from legal aid today but didn't. Hopefully tomorrow. I'm not sure about local churches or charities. I may have to look into that. I kinda figured contacting the bank would be a last resort. Sigh.......

He's pretty much already moved out. He keeps saying he plans on coming back at some point but that ain't happening! If I don't hear from legal aid tomorrow, I'll call.

[stray]

So sorry to hear of your situation. You sound really calm and together, wishing you all the very best.

The only suggestion I have to offer is to look around the house, yard, garage for things to sell quickly and stash the cash. If Craigslist is used in your area that's a quick way to liquidate things that you won't need and have been "left behind" -- tools, extra furniture, etc. Think scrap metal too, DH made $75 the other day off old tools that no longer worked and junk laying around the yard & shop. Jump on it now while you have the house to yourself.

[GoGoGophers]

Not that I'd advocate doing anything naughty but keep in mind that your new checking account, even if it is in your name only, is something he can lay claim to in a divorce. You know, the whole entitled-to-half-the-marital-assets thing. It might be prudent to draw that account down... if the cash just happened to migrate to something harder to track like a prepaid debit card, well, it might make your life a little bit easier down the road.

[helpmeout]

To protect yourself and your kids, you need to file for divorce. I would also file for temp custody and support (ask that the support be garnished from his wages). Chances are very good that your husband is seeing someone else. I would also ask for an accounting of any debt that he is running up. If you can show that it is on the other woman, the judge is likely not to split that debt. Even if you don't get him out of the house, you can get a court order that states he has to pay the bills. Has he changed where his paycheck goes? If not, then withdraw it as soon as it is deposited so that you can pay household bills with it. It will probably be changed the first time that you do that so save the money for necessities (the mortgage payment is not one of these, food and utilities are).

As for keeping the house, well, you may not be able to. But, depending your state and bank, you may be able to live rent free for a while before the bank takes the house.

[helpmeout]

. And as far as child support, if he's being irresponsible now, could take months or years to actually get him to cough up the CS.

Only if he is working under the table. Child support is typically garnished from one's wages. I know that I don't have to worry about it for this reason.

[hmsmith]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Do you have family that can help you out? I also am concerned because if you lose the house, where can you go with 7 kids? I don't think you can rent an apartment but maybe you could find a house to rent?

IT does sound like you are making plans and preperations which is good, he probably never expected that! I hope you are able to reach legal aid today!

[confusedinok]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Do you have family that can help you out? I also am concerned because if you lose the house, where can you go with 7 kids? I don't think you can rent an apartment but maybe you could find a house to rent?

IT does sound like you are making plans and preperations which is good, he probably never expected that! I hope you are able to reach legal aid today!

I really want to try and keep the house because anything around here that I could rent for what I'm paying in mortgage would be less than half the size of our house. My family can help some but not really financially.

[DYLAN150]

Time to start a new chapter in your life. It may get worst before it get's better but it will get better.

[confusedinok]

Well legal aid can't help me. They only take emergency domestic violence or child abuse cases. Bummer. I'm going to try an attorney tomorrow that a friend recommended who might take my case and let me pay it out, if it even comes down to me paying. If he's the one to file, then he'll probably have to pay my attorney fees as well.