A few Punnies...

[AngelinaCat]

[ValleYum]

LOLOL Beelzeblog!! I LOVE it, AC!!

[AngelinaCat]

Four Husbands ----

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. after a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.


(WAIT FOR IT)



She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

[mdabusufian]

so funny. thanks

[AngelinaCat]

From a friend of mine who collects these things...


Punography


A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A minor.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Broken pencils are pointless.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crépes.

How did Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

They told me I had Type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

When chemists die, they barium.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.