Maiden name question

[DYLAN150]

A friend of mind's son got married this past summer. He and his new wife must be in their late 30's.
I don't want to sound old fashion, but was wondering how many women now keep their maiden names upon marriage? First marriage for both, but she is keeping her last name. Is this common now? I know some women are hyphenating their maiden and marriage names now, but never really heard of just using your maiden name after marriage.

[AngelinaCat]

I use mine. We married in 1988 and 'Hub did not want me to take his name when we married, "because no one knows of XXXX YYYYYY. Everyone knows XXXXX WWWW, and she has a good name."

For the record, this is my first (and only) marriage, and 'Hub's second.

We had to provide a copy of our Marriage License for our BK.

[LadyInTheRed]

I was 37 when I got married and I kept my maiden name. I considered taking my husband's name because a part of me believes that if we are family we should share a family name. If I thought we'd have children, I'd definitely change my name. If my husband had strong feelings about it, I'd change it. But, I've made a good name for myself in my carreer and I'd prefer that my previous professional contacts readily recognize who I am if they hear or see my name. I've never liked hyphenated last names. Also, my husband's father was adopted and is estranged from his abusive adopted father from whom my husband gets his last name. He knows nothing of the history of the name. I can trace my maiden name back to people who helped settle the original 13 colonies and possibly to the "Old World". So, it is more signifcant to me than my husband's name is to him. After living for 37 years with my maiden name, it seemed odd to change it. If I married earlier, I think I'd feel differently.

I will answer to either name without taking offense. Some people refer to me using my husband's last name and I only correct them if it is important that they use my legal name for some reason.

In my experience, it is very common for women to keep their maiden names.

[justbroke]

If it matters... I thought of hyphenating my name! I always thought that was cool.

[DYLAN150]

Thanks. Live and learn. ( you can tell I am an old guy)

[AngelinaCatHub]

I use mine. We married in 1988 and 'Hub did not want me to take his name when we married, "because no one knows of XXXX YYYYYY. Everyone knows XXXXX WWWW, and she has a good name."

For the record, this is my first (and only) marriage, and 'Hub's second.

We had to provide a copy of our Marriage License for our BK.

As an old guy to an old guy, Mrs. said it all. It was I who insisted upon her keeping her life long name. She married late in life (in 30's) and I am several years above her. I am proud of my wife and my marriage is fantastic. I have no chauvinist pride regarding my surname. If some real legal document as a mortgage come by, we then use a hyphen on HER NAME ONLY with her name first. I use only my surname. This is to only link us legally to the mortgage for reason of joint ownership or responsibility.

What is in a name? A rose by any name is still my lovely wife. Pride of a namesake is shallow. My opinion. 'Hub

[df04527]

Agree with LIR. At that age it is more a career reason i bet

[keepsmiling]

I kept mine.

[bcohen]

Are you people kidding? If you (the woman) really and truly love your husband, then out of respect you take his name. Even hyphenating the name is disrespectful to the man, imo. There are many reasons for this, the most important being that the entire family--including the children, if any--should have the same last name.

BTW, I am 31, married, and my wife is 35. I made clear upfront that she would take on my family name only, so that our children, if any, would have the same family name as their father. As I am now going to college, and we are therefore too poor to afford kids for a long, long time, this may be a non-issue due to my wife's age. Still, it is important that as a true family, we share the family name.

[keepsmiling]

Are you people kidding? If you (the woman) really and truly love your husband, then out of respect you take his name. Even hyphenating the name is disrespectful to the man, imo. There are many reasons for this, the most important being that the entire family--including the children, if any--should have the same last name.

BTW, I am 31, married, and my wife is 35. I made clear upfront that she would take on my family name only, so that our children, if any, would have the same family name as their father. As I am now going to college, and we are therefore too poor to afford kids for a long, long time, this may be a non-issue due to my wife's age. Still, it is important that as a true family, we share the family name.

One thing has nothing to do with the other. Of the many people I know who have kept their name, their children all have their father's.

[oregonpilot]

ok....here goes. Had my first married name for 30 yrs.
business name under that name. Contractors board under that name.

Married last nov, (after being divorced 10 yrs) changed name to new hubbys name.
He tried not to influence my decision but did say after I choose to take his name that he was glad i didn't hyph cause he felt that was like trying to keep one ft in old life and one ft in new. (thats his feeling not mine)

WOW..WOW i had no idea how complicated it was going to be making all the changes.
OR contractors board wanted copy of marriage license,
bonding co needs copy of license for a name change rider to send to contractors board.
DMV needed a copy of marriage license.
checking acct.
I still havent changed my passport cuz they need a whole new app with copy of license....with big fee.
ACK making a career of getting certified copies of said license.

LOVE my new name.....hearing good morning MRS xxx, while i say good morning MR xxx. What joy!!!
MORE smiles---MORE wrinkles!!!

[AngelinaCatHub]

Are you people kidding? If you (the woman) really and truly love your husband, then out of respect you take his name. Even hyphenating the name is disrespectful to the man, imo. There are many reasons for this, the most important being that the entire family--including the children, if any--should have the same last name.

BTW, I am 31, married, and my wife is 35. I made clear upfront that she would take on my family name only, so that our children, if any, would have the same family name as their father. As I am now going to college, and we are therefore too poor to afford kids for a long, long time, this may be a non-issue due to my wife's age. Still, it is important that as a true family, we share the family name.

Oh my friend, this is only your own opinion. I (I am the husband) insisted (against her will more/less) that she keep her "sir name" out of respect for HER. I am not a chauvinistic male and her life time reputation far exceeded mine in this County that I am also well known in. It harms us not. I am proud of her family heritage, and to my own family heritage, I study hers. We are both Archivists, Historians of local history and Cemetariens. We dearly love each other. We have no children in this my second marriage, her first (and only). To you, it is a matter of respect. To me, it also is a matter of respect. Has it hurt you? No. Has it hurt me? No. It is all in your perspective.

Be a bit more open minded as people see things in different lights. I always give the benefit of doubt. I do understand your opinion. Do you see mine? I'll bet you do. GBWY "Hub

[keepsmiling]

Nicely put Hub, thanks.
I for one am thrilled that we have options about many things.... not so much in other places, times and cultures.
My dh and my son could care less that we have different names. My fil, on the other hand... well, we won't go there....