Thoughts on pre-nuptial agreements?

[discombob1]

The boyfriend and I are starting to discuss marriage. We've been together on and off for three years, do not live together and have never co-mingled funds. We are both older and neither of us have been married before. He does know about the BK, knows the reasons for it and has been supportive. For my own personal reasons I have never allowed him to loan me money (my mess, my responsibility, etc.)

We have a ton of friends who have been through bitter divorces, probably part of why I have gotten to my mid thirties and he to early forties unmarried. We love each other dearly and are both educated professionals. Both of us have been through unemployment (he had an emergency cushion and parents who helped, I didn't). Has anyone here used a pre-nup and wished they hadn't? Or has anyone not used one and wished they had? Just trying to get some opinions if anyone is willing to share.

[Pandora]

I think if you've been this long w/out co-mingling funds - then continue to do so. Think of a pre-nup this way - you're not only protecting whats yours / his, but you're also protecting yourself from debts of the other person among many other areas if you write it up correctly.

I dont have one, however my sister has had one drawn up before (2nd husband) and its a good thing she did as he was quite the ass when it came to divorcing him. Do what you both believe will be in the best interest of each other. If you're questioning doing one, there's a reason.

[tobee43]

i know many people that have them.....

my personal opinion....for whatever that means.......is this.........

"what's MINE...is MINE and what's HIS is MINE"......

neither of my kids have them.....one has big bucks....the other poorer than dirt...LOL!!! i do know they work for some...we just still are old fashion and want to TRY and trust those we marry...but nowadays is much more complicated .....i guess.

[discombob1]

My parents have been married for 50 years and both of my siblings are in successful marriages. I didn't ever think I would consider a prenup. I obviously don't like the thought of mis-trusting him, but I have so many friends who had relationships that should have lasted hit the skids. It's crazy! Plus, I have an insanely independent streak... I don't know. I would like to think it would never be an issue, but I guess these days you never know. I've seen crazy things happen in divorce.

[tobee43]

My parents have been married for 50 years and both of my siblings are in successful marriages. I didn't ever think I would consider a prenup. I obviously don't like the thought of mis-trusting him, but I have so many friends who had relationships that should have lasted hit the skids. It's crazy! Plus, I have an insanely independent streak... I don't know. I would like to think it would never be an issue, but I guess these days you never know. I've seen crazy things happen in divorce.

i hear you!!

we have been married 40 years......and i KNOW it's a NO issue...

[OhioFiler]

The boyfriend and I are starting to discuss marriage. We've been together on and off for three years, do not live together and have never co-mingled funds. We are both older and neither of us have been married before. He does know about the BK, knows the reasons for it and has been supportive. For my own personal reasons I have never allowed him to loan me money (my mess, my responsibility, etc.)

We have a ton of friends who have been through bitter divorces, probably part of why I have gotten to my mid thirties and he to early forties unmarried. We love each other dearly and are both educated professionals. Both of us have been through unemployment (he had an emergency cushion and parents who helped, I didn't). Has anyone here used a pre-nup and wished they hadn't? Or has anyone not used one and wished they had? Just trying to get some opinions if anyone is willing to share.

What concerns do you have regarding your assets prior to marriage given you have nothing beyond the exemptions afforded you in Michigan? Are you really asking for advice on whether two never married yet older adults should bother marrying? I'll tell you this. When you meet the person you're destined to spend your life with there will be no equivocation.

[backtoschool]

What concerns do you have regarding your assets prior to marriage given you have nothing beyond the exemptions afforded you in Michigan? Are you really asking for advice on whether two never married yet older adults should bother marrying? I'll tell you this. When you meet the person you're destined to spend your life with there will be no equivocation.

I totally agree with you OhioFiler! If two people love each other, then nothing else matters.

As to the OP's question however, I have to admit that I am confused as to what exactly the question is. Prenuptial agreements are to protect assets. What assets are in play here?

I do not believe that marriage and independence are mutually exclusive. If the OP is worried that marrying will curtail her independence, a prenuptial agreement will not allay those fears.

[OhioFiler]

I totally agree with you OhioFiler! If two people love each other, then nothing else matters.

As to the OP's question however, I have to admit that I am confused as to what exactly the question is. Prenuptial agreements are to protect assets. What assets are in play here?

I do not believe that marriage and independence are mutually exclusive. If the OP is worried that marrying will curtail her independence, a prenuptial agreement will not allay those fears.

The beauty of marrying the one you love completely is the dependence one gains from the union.

[tobee43]

perhaps two spirits may see life the same way...........until it's time to divide assets.......the OP question was:

Thoughts on pre-nuptial agreements?
The boyfriend and I are starting to discuss marriage. We've been together on and off for three years, do not live together and have never co-mingled funds. We are both older and neither of us have been married before. He does know about the BK, knows the reasons for it and has been supportive. For my own personal reasons I have never allowed him to loan me money (my mess, my responsibility, etc.)

We have a ton of friends who have been through bitter divorces, probably part of why I have gotten to my mid thirties and he to early forties unmarried. We love each other dearly and are both educated professionals. Both of us have been through unemployment (he had an emergency cushion and parents who helped, I didn't). Has anyone here used a pre-nup and wished they hadn't? Or has anyone not used one and wished they had? Just trying to get some opinions if anyone is willing to share.

after 40 years of marriage i have "something" to share....i ask...BTS and Ohio...just HOW long have you been married...LOL!!!!!!!!!........i bet i can guess???

nice to c you bts............

[backtoschool]

perhaps two spirits may see life the same way...........until it's time to divide assets.......the OP question was:



after 40 years of marriage i have "something" to share....i ask...BTS and Ohio...just HOW long have you been married...LOL!!!!!!!!!........i bet i can guess???

nice to c you bts............

Actually, OhioFiler and I got married last week.

[tobee43]

Actually, OhioFiler and I got married last week.

omg...........i really MIGHT belive you?? ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

[OhioFiler]

omg...........i really MIGHT belive you?? ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why wouldn't you belive her?

[backtoschool]

omg...........i really MIGHT belive you?? ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was no prenup by the way.

[tobee43]

Why wouldn't you belive her?

why would you???

also, she would NEVER ...EVER...(that's a breath)...............marry anyone that can't spell.........

[tobee43]

There was no prenup by the way.

well then since apparently you are a paralegal ??????????????? BIG news to me..................and you KNOW i'm one...you'd know why...right...just to make certain your ok...that's all....trust no one...apparently....except for those FEW that may REALLY care....