My world is falling apart!

[mekia2001]

I don't know where else to turn to but I have read some really great things from people on this forum. It's almost like a family here and I hope I can get a little support now.

I have a 5 year old daughter and I'm pretty sure she has some form of ADHD or something and I've suspected this for a while but I am in denial. I feel like somehow this is my fault so I have not taken her to a doctor regarding this issue. I had an appointment last year but I couldn't go through with it. Now she is in school and this is really affecting her academically. My husband tells me that I baby her too much but I hate to see her get in trouble because I know that something is wrong with her and sometimes I think he's too hard on her. She is just so misunderstood!

I don't want her to be labeled or ridiculed but I know that I have to take her so that she can be properly treated. I just don't understand why this happening. She is such a great child and she doesn't mean any harm. I know this isn't the worse thing and there are many people dealing with much bigger issues but for me this is almost too much to handle. Why am I feeling so guilty and helpless?

[Okieblue]

Do some research on alternative therapies to ADD medicines, or if you are pro med, do your research on them as well. Perhaps talk to the school counselor about resources, if you are having issues paying for testing. It's not the end of the world, really. Find out tips and techniques for helping her focus and possibly her social interactions, what is appropriate and what is not. My oldest was just a happy kid when was little and liked everyone, not everyone liked him and he had trouble with those little snubs, but as he has matured, he picked up on those things.

[tyson24]

Having had a sister who just went through this, I can tell you it does have a stigma that goes with it. She struggled in denial as well. My nephew started slipping in school in kindergarten and the teachers told her. Finally in 1st grade, they figured out that he had a congenital eye defect that made it so he could not see at all out of his left eye. Everything spiraled from there, including the ADD/ADHD temper tantrums.

He is now in 5th grade, on an IEP in the school district, on medication and thriving in school. Once you get past it (like she had to) it is really all diagnosis and how you would like to approach the situation, whether it be with meds or otherwise.

She still feels guilty to this day for letting her guilt get in the way. I always tell her that he is great now and that is all that matters. The IEP really helped with school.

I wish you luck and try not to beat yourself up Us Mom's are too hard on ourselves. Do what you feel is right. Diagnosis is really the first step.

I hope this helps

[goodyphilips]

Well we all are protective about our kids and some times we all free guilty about being negligent towards them for the smallest of causes. let me tell you you are a great parent, who cares so much for your kid. so get over this feeling of guilt,go ahead and consult an experienced specialist for this.

[AbbeyA]

I have a dd with special needs. If you suspect that something is not quite right, it is your responsibility as her parent to follow through with your gut feeling and get her tested. If she does have ADD or ADHD, she can't help what is going on in her head and she also can't control the distractions from which she suffers. If it is affecting her schoolwork, get her the help she needs and deserves. My sister has a son with ADHD. He was diagnosed in kindergarten or 1st grade and she didn't want to medicate him. He struggled through that school year and the following year her and her husband decided to medicate him when he came home from school crying b/c he just couldn't do the work like the other kids could. His grades have improved drastically since then and his overall confidence and behavior have improved significantly as well. My sister didn't tell his teacher that they decided to medicate him when they did. Lo and behold, 4 days into the school week when he had the meds for the first time, a wonderful note came home from school about how great he had done that week in school ... listening very well, focused, concentrating etc... It was a pretty telling thing for my sister that the medication was incredibly important and she still feels guilty that they didn't start it when he was first diagnosed.

My dd who is also 5 probably has ADD in addition to her other special needs. I will not medicate her yet, but absolutely will seriously consider it in kindergarten or 1st grade if her educational/physician team feel it will be helpful to her. We see a developmental pediatrician for her and the pediatrician didn't feel it necessary to medicate her at this time given her age (she was a few months shy of 5 when we saw her). She is in our local early childhood education school and they do a fantastic job with her and all of the kids there with special needs. Once she starts kindergarten, I do anticipate having a serious discussion about meds.

I guess what I really want to get across is that you are her advocate. You do not need to have any regrets when it comes to your children. Make the appointment and have her tested. If she doesn't have it, that's GREAT! If she does, you will be armed with lots of information and choices on how to best treat your daughter. Education is key here, education for you and your dh on how to deal with her and make sure she succeeds as best she can.

All the best to you and your dh, parenting is a tough enough job as it is and it gets even more challenging when you have to really worry about a child. Hang in there and trust your gut ... the term "mothers instinct" didn't become coined by accident.