Friend received a $300k estate, now asking people to pay for the estate's bills???

[dumpinmydebt]

I have to get this off my chest. It's been irritating me.

The grandfather of a friend of mine passed away last year. He left his entire estate to her. She has been fighting for the rights to the estate for a year now (his children were ticked that they were left out.)

She won last week. She received a house and land, a car, $100k in cash (which half was spent on legal fees) and a TON of stuff. $300k minimum. How do I know? She brags about it.

Let's also not forget her husband also inherited his father's estate last year, around $100k as well.

Well, she is having a "benefit" for her grandfather. I asked her what charity she was donating to. She said no charity, she is wanting money to pay for some of her grandfather's bills, and to pay to get him a headstone.

I was like, don't you have enough in the estate to take care of it. She said yes, if she sold some of it.

I'm appalled and disgusted. How on earth can someone justify receiving a six figure estate, and then beg people for money because she is too selfish to sell some of the stuff? It's almost made me not want to be friends with her.

They have 4 cars, their mortgage is almost paid off (they are 27), and she buys designer crap all the time. They just bought a giant pool as well.

I'm starting to think she is going to turn out to be a hoarder.

What do you think about this?

[tyson24]

Well, from what you say, she will be BK in a few years spending like that. The more you have you more you consume. Consumption of everything will shoot her in the foot sooner or later. People living high on the hog (like myself for years) will be down in the trough soon enough. The key to having money in my opinion, is living like you don't have any. That bragging should be your clue that she is really concerned with having everyone know about how much money she has. It is doomed from the beginning. It is called keeping up with the Joneses...Who ever the Joneses are ;)

[chrisdfw]

Well, from what you say, she will be BK in a few years spending like that. The more you have you more you consume. Consumption of everything will shoot her in the foot sooner or later. People living high on the hog (like myself for years) will be down in the trough soon enough. The key to having money in my opinion, is living like you don't have any. That bragging should be your clue that she is really concerned with having everyone know about how much money she has. It is doomed from the beginning. It is called keeping up with the Joneses...Who ever the Joneses are ;)

Been there and did that to some extent. Its a sure path to ruination.

I can tell you I am better off now physically and financially on 1/5th the salary, without the hassles of the high powered job and running the businesses. Hopefully these people will see the light without going bankrupt... many of us couldn't, but at least there is light on the other side and most learn in the process.

It is disgusting to recieve an inheritance and ask others to foot the bill for a headstone. Sick.

[stillstandin]

I would un-friend that person on the double, whether I had my own BK woes or not, unless you have classified her as a life long (20 years+ in my book) friend for some reason--then you very politely tell her what you think of her plans. If you choose that option, she will likely un-friend you, because she seems speeding in the wrong moral direction, and will run you over and leave you as road kill.

I actually stand to inherit an estate that is probably greater than that someday, but the reality is that that may or may not happen, because everything can change in a moment, and I don't speak a word about it to anyone,except for one person who knows everything about me, or make ANY plans to deal with it until it comes to pass. I am bankrupt TODAY (discharged this week)and planning my recovery. We have enough on our plates here trying to move forward, so I'd suggest eliminating the bragging beggars in your life, and get on surrounding yourself with people who are financially and mentally healthy. Good luck.

[dumpinmydebt]

I am on the verge of "unfriending" this person. I think if she really goes through with this "benefit" then that will be it. I just can't be around someone so selfish and hypocritical. Her behavior is toxic.

This isn't the person I became friends with 6 years ago. She's just completely different.

[tobee43]

I am on the verge of "unfriending" this person. I think if she really goes through with this "benefit" then that will be it. I just can't be around someone so selfish and hypocritical. Her behavior is toxic.

This isn't the person I became friends with 6 years ago. She's just completely different.

people are strange....

we had "best" friends...they had one child and would throw these extravagant birthday parties for their daughter and expect people to give...and i'm NOT kidding like $500 or so...unreal.

we were friends for 20 plus years...while we attended all these functions and were extremely generous, when our kids graduated from college they never even provided them with a simple card.

we had enough when at one of our birthday parties...for one of US....so this friend announced in front of at least 30 people, they have gotten US a cruise for our birthday....ONLY to find out it was buy the top of the line suite on the ship and 2 sail on the bottom deck in bunk beds for free....we were even supposed to EAT in different dining rooms...come to find out.

what nerve...they just loved being looked upon as "big shots" when actually they were so trashy.

we had enough....that's NOT a friend. we could care less about stuff...but these people have serious problems and need to make themselves feel better about themselves because they are so insecure....CUT them off!!! believe me....it was hard for us after 20 plus years of seeing these friends daily....but it had to be done.

[Flamingo]

Contact the IRS and your State's Division of Revenue to ensure they tax the amount she receives for her "benefit."

[tobee43]

Contact the IRS and your State's Division of Revenue to ensure they tax the amount she receives for her "benefit."

LOL!!!! your sooooooooooo mean!! usually only if the estate is over a certain amount are taxes applicable....and both of these are under the IRS limits.....however, does not necessarily mean state taxes.........ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDD....

if they inherit a home.....there's always the question of the capital gain tax if they sell it...if applicable......

[dumpinmydebt]

Lol @ Flamingo. Good advice though.

Yes, she got a house, and a car, cash, and tons of items.

tobee43, that sounds like something my friend and her husband would do. What jerks. Definitely not a friend for sure. Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely considering it. You're absolutely right. It's not the money or things, it's the action or the thought. I just can't understand it, at all. I can't understand how a person justifies asking people to pay for the headstone, when they have the means.

[tobee43]

Lol @ Flamingo. Good advice though.

Yes, she got a house, and a car, cash, and tons of items.

tobee43, that sounds like something my friend and her husband would do. What jerks. Definitely not a friend for sure. Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely considering it. You're absolutely right. It's not the money or things, it's the action or the thought. I just can't understand it, at all. I can't understand how a person justifies asking people to pay for the headstone, when they have the means.

yeah...people pretty much stink....except US!!! LOL!!!! remember those people aren't BROKE like us...why ...because we would give our last dime to help someone...

and i have to say...after a 20 year plus friendship, well actually it was NOT really a friendship...we don't even miss them!

i forgot to tell you this....o man.... when we went out for dinner and we didn't drink then.....she would order...NO LIE.....champaine splits at like $15 bucks a piece...about 10 of them...SWEAR...then about 5 after dinner drinks.... not including the bottle of wine they would order WITH dinner that we didn't even touch.....and then what to split the $600 dinner bill.......$500 was her drinks....LOL!!!!!!!!!!

are you SURE this is NOT the same person???

[Flamingo]

LOL!!!! your sooooooooooo mean!! usually only if the estate is over a certain amount are taxes applicable....and both of these are under the IRS limits.....however, does not necessarily mean state taxes.........ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDD....

if they inherit a home.....there's always the question of the capital gain tax if they sell it...if applicable......

You missunderstood...I am not talking about estate taxes, I am talking about her receiving money from a benefit that she is putting to use for her own purposes...that is income. The IRS would love to hear about that and so would the state tax division in the state in which she resides. All the OP has to do is make a phone call after her benefit is over to both agencies...

[tobee43]

You missunderstood...I am not talking about estate taxes, I am talking about her receiving money from a benefit that she is putting to use for her own purposes...that is income. The IRS would love to hear about that and so would the state tax division in the state in which she resides. All the OP has to do is make a phone call after her benefit is over to both agencies...

ahhhhhhh....i GOT it...that' even meaner!! LOL!!!

and she sure would get in trouble with that one! at the least a big slap!

[dumpinmydebt]

yeah...people pretty much stink....except US!!! LOL!!!! remember those people aren't BROKE like us...why ...because we would give our last dime to help someone...

and i have to say...after a 20 year plus friendship, well actually it was NOT really a friendship...we don't even miss them!

i forgot to tell you this....o man.... when we went out for dinner and we didn't drink then.....she would order...NO LIE.....champaine splits at like $15 bucks a piece...about 10 of them...SWEAR...then about 5 after dinner drinks.... not including the bottle of wine they would order WITH dinner that we didn't even touch.....and then what to split the $600 dinner bill.......$500 was her drinks....LOL!!!!!!!!!!

are you SURE this is NOT the same person???

Yes, I absolutely would give my last dollar to someone who needs it. They on the other hand could care less.

WHOA! You would think it's the same. Get this. Whenever we all go out for drinks, we order beer (cause it's cheap), and they always order liquor. They always want to buy "rounds." I'm not buying you a round of liquor while you buy me a round of beer.

@ Flamingo. I understood what you meant. She sure hasn't mentioned how large that tax bill would be, which was a thought that crossed my mind. That tax bill will take up a very large part of whatever she is to receive.

[tobee43]

Yes, I absolutely would give my last dollar to someone who needs it. They on the other hand could care less.

WHOA! You would think it's the same. Get this. Whenever we all go out for drinks, we order beer (cause it's cheap), and they always order liquor. They always want to buy "rounds." I'm not buying you a round of liquor while you buy me a round of beer.

@ Flamingo. I understood what you meant. She sure hasn't mentioned how large that tax bill would be, which was a thought that crossed my mind. That tax bill will take up a very large part of whatever she is to receive.

these people HAVE to be related!! LOL!!

[Blueboy]

Have you told your friend what you think about her plans? Isn't that who you should be talking to about this issue?

Just saying.