I found this site after a Google search. I just need advice, someone to talk with who's been through this mess. I can't stop crying, I want to vomit, and I honestly don't see no way out for me short of dying. Please over look me if I ramble, I'm usually more coherent. I'm simply a wreck at the moment.
I live in Kentucky, married, and am a c4/c5 quadriplegic. I was made a quad 10 years ago in an auto accident that wasn't my fault. Like a fool I only sued to get my medical bills covered. I could have sued for more but I'm stupid I guess where I didn't want to ruin the guy at fault. Because of the accident I lost my job, my car, my place, my husband left my son and me, I had to move back home with my mom ... I lost everything. After moving back home I started putting my life back together. It was slow going, the divorce was hell, rehab was a nightmare, but things looked brighter. Every week I could do more for myself and was enjoying being with my son. Then my mother was told she had cancer. The chemo did nothing and she died 5 years ago. No one in my family was willing to let me move in even though I could pay my way. It really hurt because I never turned any of them away when they needed help. I withdrew my savings, giving the money to my sister to use for my son's upkeep, and entered a nursing home.
Durning this time I became reacquainted with a friend of my stepbrother. We were both alone and lonely so we sort of clicked. I taught him how to do my care. I warned him that if my environment were setup for me I wouldn't require 24/7 care but if he wasn't careful he could get care giver burn out. We were married and for the first year and a half everything was great. When he asked to handle my bills, money, and credit cards I thought nothing of it. Thats when things went down hill, fast. When I wanted to buy something by credit card either he'd say no, we didn't need it or say we could save up and buy it later (later never came). Sometimes he'd get mad if I asked about money, then say he was sorry he blew up. He was stressed. I quit asking because I couldn't handle him yelling.
Today a man came to the door. My husband was gone so I had my son open it for me. It was a policeman with papers saying one of my credit cards was sueing me for over $6,000! It had to be intrest because none of my three cards would let me charge over $5,000. When I became upset the officer told me to go on a website and check my credit report. I got my free Equifax report and thats when I became scared. It said I had a judgment of $1,900 from a card, now this $6,000 one wanting me in court, a fingerhut he swore he paid (with a money order even though I have checks, a bank card, and I thought credit) of $160, two doctor bills in collection of $64 and $30, a lab bill in collection of $77, and a third credit card close to $11,000. I thought I was going to loose my mind. I had always paid my bills and had great credit...now this! All the dates for these accounts being shut down was 2008. When he came home I asked why he ran up my cards; where was my money going every month? He did like always and began screaming until I was crying, then he got in his car and left. When he came back he told me he was sorry. That he never had credit cards before and his spending got away from him. That before he knew it he couldn't meet each cards payment so he just quit paying and quit using them. Then he quit even opening the bill because each month the amount seemed to double. That he'd scream at me because he was embarrassed then he'd leave because he was ashamed he had me in tears. I couldn't help it though; its scary as heck when you can't move or run away and you're being screamed at. My first husband was abusive of me after my accident durning the time he was there and the yelling brings back a lot of bad memories. Other than this money issue, my second husband does treat me ok. Maybe he did use bad judgment but I feel like I'm left holding the bag in this mess since all the cards were in my name. When I asked to see a lawyer to file bankruptcy he became mad again saying I don't have the money to hire one.
To the folks here, I've a lot of questions maybe you can answer. I'm very new to this and very scared. The more I read, the more questions I have. I feel so lost. Its after 4 a.m. and I still can't sleep. My heart feels as if its coming out of my chest, my stomach is sick, I can't shut off my head. If I could walk I feel as if I could run from here to Maine and back a few times.
I don't know how but my husband went right off to sleep. His idea of help was telling me not to "sweet it" and they "can't get blood from a stone" since I own pretty much nothing. It was a relief to read I couldn't go to prison over debt. That was one of my biggest fears.
Ok, dumb questions time:
1. The few hundred questions bumping in my brain, do they get posted under "General Bankruptcy" until I get a feel for what goes where?
2. Any advice on how to be able to calm down? I know its not the end of the world but it feels like it.
Right now almost any and all input is welcomed. I think a lawyer is out for the moment. I've been reading on filing Chapter 7 by myself. I'm guessing this is my only route right now.
Thanks for any help
I live in Kentucky, married, and am a c4/c5 quadriplegic. I was made a quad 10 years ago in an auto accident that wasn't my fault. Like a fool I only sued to get my medical bills covered. I could have sued for more but I'm stupid I guess where I didn't want to ruin the guy at fault. Because of the accident I lost my job, my car, my place, my husband left my son and me, I had to move back home with my mom ... I lost everything. After moving back home I started putting my life back together. It was slow going, the divorce was hell, rehab was a nightmare, but things looked brighter. Every week I could do more for myself and was enjoying being with my son. Then my mother was told she had cancer. The chemo did nothing and she died 5 years ago. No one in my family was willing to let me move in even though I could pay my way. It really hurt because I never turned any of them away when they needed help. I withdrew my savings, giving the money to my sister to use for my son's upkeep, and entered a nursing home.
Durning this time I became reacquainted with a friend of my stepbrother. We were both alone and lonely so we sort of clicked. I taught him how to do my care. I warned him that if my environment were setup for me I wouldn't require 24/7 care but if he wasn't careful he could get care giver burn out. We were married and for the first year and a half everything was great. When he asked to handle my bills, money, and credit cards I thought nothing of it. Thats when things went down hill, fast. When I wanted to buy something by credit card either he'd say no, we didn't need it or say we could save up and buy it later (later never came). Sometimes he'd get mad if I asked about money, then say he was sorry he blew up. He was stressed. I quit asking because I couldn't handle him yelling.
Today a man came to the door. My husband was gone so I had my son open it for me. It was a policeman with papers saying one of my credit cards was sueing me for over $6,000! It had to be intrest because none of my three cards would let me charge over $5,000. When I became upset the officer told me to go on a website and check my credit report. I got my free Equifax report and thats when I became scared. It said I had a judgment of $1,900 from a card, now this $6,000 one wanting me in court, a fingerhut he swore he paid (with a money order even though I have checks, a bank card, and I thought credit) of $160, two doctor bills in collection of $64 and $30, a lab bill in collection of $77, and a third credit card close to $11,000. I thought I was going to loose my mind. I had always paid my bills and had great credit...now this! All the dates for these accounts being shut down was 2008. When he came home I asked why he ran up my cards; where was my money going every month? He did like always and began screaming until I was crying, then he got in his car and left. When he came back he told me he was sorry. That he never had credit cards before and his spending got away from him. That before he knew it he couldn't meet each cards payment so he just quit paying and quit using them. Then he quit even opening the bill because each month the amount seemed to double. That he'd scream at me because he was embarrassed then he'd leave because he was ashamed he had me in tears. I couldn't help it though; its scary as heck when you can't move or run away and you're being screamed at. My first husband was abusive of me after my accident durning the time he was there and the yelling brings back a lot of bad memories. Other than this money issue, my second husband does treat me ok. Maybe he did use bad judgment but I feel like I'm left holding the bag in this mess since all the cards were in my name. When I asked to see a lawyer to file bankruptcy he became mad again saying I don't have the money to hire one.
To the folks here, I've a lot of questions maybe you can answer. I'm very new to this and very scared. The more I read, the more questions I have. I feel so lost. Its after 4 a.m. and I still can't sleep. My heart feels as if its coming out of my chest, my stomach is sick, I can't shut off my head. If I could walk I feel as if I could run from here to Maine and back a few times.
I don't know how but my husband went right off to sleep. His idea of help was telling me not to "sweet it" and they "can't get blood from a stone" since I own pretty much nothing. It was a relief to read I couldn't go to prison over debt. That was one of my biggest fears.
Ok, dumb questions time:
1. The few hundred questions bumping in my brain, do they get posted under "General Bankruptcy" until I get a feel for what goes where?
2. Any advice on how to be able to calm down? I know its not the end of the world but it feels like it.
Right now almost any and all input is welcomed. I think a lawyer is out for the moment. I've been reading on filing Chapter 7 by myself. I'm guessing this is my only route right now.
Thanks for any help
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