Some debt and poverty humor to lighten things up a bit

[Dawn1970]

[robivi3]

LOL! We'd like some more!

[robivi3]

I have a quip form work that still makes me chuckle though it is not debt related. I am a technician for the Rail system in a large city. Years ago I worked in the Bus Division. Now before I begin let me state that I will use the first and last letter of the one foul word involved in the story with the intermediate letters blocked out. If this is deemed unnacceptable for this forum please do not ban me, simply warn me and I will take the hint. I do not condone or endorse the use of this word or even the thought of it. That being said here is the story.

We had a cleaner named "Joe". At this time (1998?) cleaners were paid about $18.00 per hour, it is higher now. Well, "Joe" was in the habit of sleeping in the back of a Bus occasionally. He would go into such a blissfull and restful state of repose that one would feel as if he had committed a criminal act if he were to awaken "Joe". Now, that sort of audacity on the part of "Joe" is not unusual in many jobs, private and public. I will state that it is not the absolute norm for our Agency and this fellow has been in trouble before and since.

One day "Joe" fell asleep in the back of a Bus that I was working on. It was a glorious repose, full of the sounds of the most restfull and wondrous sleep that could be imagined, this was sleep at its best. Not wanting to rouse "Joe" from his dreams I allowed him to "sleep through". This began at our days start at 7am. Finally at about 10:30 am "Joe" woke up. He looked over at me through sleepy eyes as I stuck a thermometer in an air duct and asked me what time it was. "10:30" I replied, to which Joe exclaimed angrily, "you m**********r, you made me miss my break!

[Dawn1970]

LOL!!!!!!!!!! :o I want this guy's job! ;)

[tinroofrusted]

Me too! Holy wow... my uncle is always complaining because a guy that he works with is always falling asleep on breaks and not coming back until two or three hours later, and nothing gets done about it.

[robivi3]

I,ve got a hundred other stories after 22 years. Including hundreds about a guy I'll call "Johnny" (not his real name). Johnny is well loved in bus maintenance. He is a pathological liar but is the nicest guy on earth. He was also a guardsman but has retired from that.

We call him Forrest Gump. We have 6,987,785 stories of accidents with "accident prone, no injury to himself, good things fall in my lap Johnnie" including:

1. Knocked down a concreete wall with a Bus, then went into the office and asked for an 80 lb. bag of CC mix.
2. Allowed a Bus to go in gear driverless and brakeless out of the front of the shop, cost: 3 freshly painted squad cars, one massive tire truck, a front cap on a GMC Bus (this was 1985), a fence between our place and the County contract Body Shop next door.
3. Accident where his YUGO rolled into a ball. The fireman were using the Jaws of life on the YUGO. Johnnie walks up to them with a soda in hand and casually asks "What are you doing?". "We gotta get that guy outta' there" says one fireman. Johnnie says "I'm the guy".
4. Got fired at UPS, sued and got his retirement.

I can't give the place away but I can write a book one day. Some of the stories are funny, some not. Most people tend to think were are not telling the truth when they hear us reminisce. But I promise that everything here has been told because i have been there through it all.

robivi3

[Dawn1970]

. . . . . his YUGO rolled into a ball. The fireman were using the Jaws of life on the YUGO. Johnnie walks up to them with a soda in hand and casually asks "What are you doing?". "We gotta get that guy outta' there" says one fireman. Johnnie says "I'm the guy".

LOL!!!!! That's my favorite. This guy does sound like one heck of a story-teller.

[robivi3]

The "Johnny" spoken of is small in stature, hence the Houdini act when the Yugo rolled. There is a very low turnover in the Public Transit Industry and the Level of education is unusually high. Many of us have been together for over 20 years so we have these family mishaps and skeletons that get dredged up when the old crowd meets.

My good buddy James (he is Italian) who years ago stood on top of a Bus giving the Mouusilini salute as a new group of technicians was touring the Shop...

[dr276301]

I once had a debt collector that just kept calling. I was in my car in a Kmart parking lot with my friend Brian when they called again. Having studied it in HS and college, I answered the phone in Spanish. The lady explained (in English) that she would have to transfer me. When the Spanish interpreter answered, I began speaking the handful of phrases that I knew in German, when they transferred me again, Russian, next was a sort of pretend French. Eventually they became irate. We laughed very hard.

[dina13]

Here is an old Jewish joke:

Sarah and Abraham are in bed one night, and Abraham keeps tossing and turning. "What's up with you?" asks Sarah. "There is one thing that worries me and I can't sleep" answers Abraham. "What is it?" keeps asking Sarah. "Well, I owe $200 to Chayim (next door neighbor), and I have to give it back to him tomorrow morning, and I have no money". "No problem" says Sarah, "I'll take care of it". She bangs on the bedroom wall. Chayim yells from the other side "What the hell are you doing?!" She yells back "Does my husband owe you $200?" "Yes!!" he replies. "Well, you're not getting it back!" she yells back to him. Then she turns to Abraham. "You can sleep peacefully. Now Chayim will toss and turn."

[dmc-2008]

These are all great reads! Thanks!

[LoveMercy]

Here is an old Jewish joke:

Sarah and Abraham are in bed one night, and Abraham keeps tossing and turning. "What's up with you?" asks Sarah. "There is one thing that worries me and I can't sleep" answers Abraham. "What is it?" keeps asking Sarah. "Well, I owe $200 to Chayim (next door neighbor), and I have to give it back to him tomorrow morning, and I have no money". "No problem" says Sarah, "I'll take care of it". She bangs on the bedroom wall. Chayim yells from the other side "What the hell are you doing?!" She yells back "Does my husband owe you $200?" "Yes!!" he replies. "Well, you're not getting it back!" she yells back to him. Then she turns to Abraham. "You can sleep peacefully. Now Chayim will toss and turn."

That's hilarious! If it were only that simple!