Not sure what to do??????

[Allmixedup]

Hello to everyone! I am new here! I am soooo confused as to what to do right now. Any advice given to me would be great. Here goes my situation.

Right now I feel squeezed like a lemon w/ my bills (as I am sure everyone these days are) My husband and I both work full time. He works in the Auto Industry and is temp. layed off. (3 weeks in April, 4 weeks in May and some other weeks to follow in July ) My job is pretty secure right now. We make appr. 3700 per month. Mortgage is almost 1200 oer month (not including taxes)! It is almost 60 days behind!

We are currently trying to workout a hardship program with them where they will drop the payment for 6 months! They have done this one other time before for us. This is only a temp. band-aid for this loan however. We owe app. 132,000 on this loan and are completly upside down, as we bought at the peak of the market! They are not participating in the Obama plan for modification.

Besides that we also have a personal loan for 15k with the same lender (yikes I know)! BTW the rate for the mortage is like 9.85%!! The rate for the personal loan is 15.99%. I have paid on this loan for almost 3 years and the balance is still the same! I only have 3k debt in cc. I am 1500.00 behind on our property taxes from last summer and not to far behind from getting the new bill.

Basically to cut a long story short , our income vs. debt is a wash! We having nothing left over each month! I am soo confused on what we should do1 I have researching my options for weeks and cannot sleep at night! My mond is racing.....First, I was thinking of Chapter 13 because my husband wanted us to keep our home. But then at other times I am thinking of chapter 7 and surrendering the home because it seems as if we are treading water as it is. It is much harder to talk him into this, as he faces the thought of us losing our home as a failure and embarresment. I am so over the emotional part of this though.

I want to do what is best for my family (I have three kids)! I am open to any thought and suggestions that anyone has to offer! BTW I live in MI in case anyone was wondering.

[Allmixedup]

Thanks for the advice, but my husband does already have a second job. He works at a restaurant 2 days a week. He has tried for more hours, but it's hard to come by these days. That job was included when I mentioned our income. I have posted in the ch. 7 forum as well. I think that is the route I have decided to go. Will keep updating as I continue through this process.

[fltoo]

Hi amu. Welcome. Don't worry, there are lots of us in the same situation either now or in the past.

I think the best answer for your situation is to see if you or your husband can find a part-time job on evenings and weekends. In your husbands case, hopefully a part-time job that can lead to full time in the near future becasue the auto industry looks bad(I am from Dayton Ohio, a big GM town).

I worked part-time loading trucks in a warehouse for 8 years and could have gone full-time if I needed.

Good Luck and thanks for posting.

This is the worst thing you can do. Getting a job at night or on weekends takes time away from rearing the 3 kids and they need you more than you need an extra job to pay off debt.

As we advised you on the other thread, surrender the house and file BK on the debt. Get a fresh start and spend as much time as you can with the kids.

[blankslate]

This is the worst thing you can do. Getting a job at night or on weekends takes time away from rearing the 3 kids and they need you more than you need an extra job to pay off debt.

As we advised you on the other thread, surrender the house and file BK on the debt. Get a fresh start and spend as much time as you can with the kids.

Agreed. I've been working two jobs for 15 years. Sometimes "work harder" is just not the answer. Enjoy your children, spend as much time as possible with them and give yourself a break. For the first time ever, I have weekends off now and I'm enjoying every single moment of them with my daughter.

I know how hard it is to get over this shame we carry with debt. Living in fear and stress while not being able to put food on the table is no way for anyone to live. Don't let anyone judge you, do what you have to do for peace of mind.

It WILL get better and this too shall pass.

[mgmadara]

Hi blankslate. I respectively disagree completely. This may seem like a stupid question: If you do not make lifestyle changes, how are you going to stay out of debt in the future?

I may be mistaken, but we all can't have your attitude, can we? Who is going to pay for all the 'toxic debt'?

We all want to work 30 hours a week and spend the rest of the time with our families. Some people can work 20 hours a week and make enough money to spend time with their families. I do not think it would be fair for me to quit my full-time job and only work a part-time job and expect to live the same lifestyle. I wish I could.

My father worked two jobs his whole life to take care of his family. Should I consider him a bad father?

I am definitely confused. Thanks for your help.

Why do you assume that people here aren't making lifestyle changes? And what do you gain by repeatedly coming back under different screen names to try and make people feel bad?

[blankslate]

No one said they wanted to work 20-30 hour work weeks and live like kings. The people here who are working and doing their best to pay off their debts are the ones who are paying off this "toxic debt." You're so jaded in your way of thinking that you believe everyone who is filing for bk is a worthless bum who wants a hand out.

Yes, there are people here who made stupid decisions. Most people have learned from them. Some people haven't. However someone like the original OP who is working hard at trying to pay everything off and still provide for her family does not fall into that category.

Most everyone here has tried desperately to pay off their debts and bk is a humbling last resort. I've spent years working two jobs and finally putting my health at risk from all of it. I believed in working harder and earning more to pay everyone off. The thing is, the harder I worked the more they took. Student Loans weren't happy with the rate I was paying them back so they turned me to a collection agency that has taken every tax return for the past 15 years and garnished my wages at 25% with absolutely no accountability to where the money goes. I have paid out over $24,000 for a $6000 loan and they are still not satisfied coming up with new penalties and hiking the interest rate so that this loan is never paid off. They have put me into bankruptcy because I could not live without having to take out other loans for expenses like tires for my car so I could get to work. I borrowed $6000 when I was 19 years old to cover what my scholarship didn't. Had I known that it would be nightmare that would last for the rest of my life I never would've done it. The other loan sharks who I had to borrow from also hiked interest rates and refused to work with the low payments I offered. I didn't create "toxic debt" as I have paid the principal balances and then some. The greedy lenders are the ones who have created the "toxic debt" by squeezing people until they just can't do it anymore and refusing to work with them.

I'm done being a slave to these people. I still work 50 hour work weeks to provide for myself and my child. That's enough. I've fed into the wealth of others long enough and it's my turn to sleep at night without worrying about who's going to sue me now and how I'm going to pay the rent and feed us tomorrow. I'm just one of many in this forum who are in the same situation. Sometimes bad things happen to good people but we get through it.

Hi blankslate. I respectively disagree completely. This may seem like a stupid question: If you do not make lifestyle changes, how are you going to stay out of debt in the future?

I may be mistaken, but we all can't have your attitude, can we? Who is going to pay for all the 'toxic debt'?

We all want to work 30 hours a week and spend the rest of the time with our families. Some people can work 20 hours a week and make enough money to spend time with their families. I do not think it would be fair for me to quit my full-time job and only work a part-time job and expect to live the same lifestyle. I wish I could.

My father worked two jobs his whole life to take care of his family. Should I consider him a bad father?

I am definitely confused. Thanks for your help.

[spidge]

I'm done being a slave to these people. I still work 50 hour work weeks to provide for myself and my child. That's enough. I've fed into the wealth of others long enough and it's my turn to sleep at night without worrying about who's going to sue me now and how I'm going to pay the rent and feed us tomorrow. I'm just one of many in this forum who are in the same situation. Sometimes bad things happen to good people but we get through it.

Exactly, I feel exactly like a slave. I feel there should be a balance and that includes some time with the kids during the week not just weekends.
I have also been looking at the federal guidelines for my size family and if my wife gets a hold of them she will want 1370 for food and supplies. I have been short changing myself and my kids far to long and am looking forward to BK my way into viewing that light at the end of the tunnel.
I was told by a credit councilor to file BK 15 years ago and have been fighting ever since to stay afloat, but I am tired and a bit older. I made my life style change years ago yet I have not been able to see any benefit accept to find out recently that we (family of 4) have been living way below the federal guidelines.
We will get through it and be better for it.
Just my 2 cents.

[robivi3]

mymom must be "Lightning" striking again under say... the 83rd screen name? No, just had to edit that. Mymom on a second read sounds alot more down to earth than Lightning, sorry...

[StartingOver08]

mymom must be "Lightning" striking again under say... the 83rd screen name? No, just had to edit that. Mymom on a second read sounds alot more down to earth than Lightning, sorry...

Yes...I think we know which troll this is.....

[mgmadara]

I was just suggesting to make lifestyle changes BEFORE BK, not after. Why is that so wrong?

I would guess that most of the people who find themselves here have already made lifestyle changes. Let me rephrase my previous question. Why do you assume that the people here haven't already made lifestyle changes?

There is a forum here called Smart Personal Financial Insights. If you are truly here to help people (and I don't believe that you are) you might post your advice in that forum. However, you're going to have to come up with better advice than your normal work more and sell luxury items. Most of the people here are in too deep for those things to work.

[blankslate]

I don't doubt that there are people who have abused this system. I saw two of them in my 341 out of about 3 dozen people. Two out of 36 seems like a very small fraction for you to judge all of us.

So how about this, what is your grand advice for those who have absolutely no luxury items and never have? Someone who's up to their armpits in medical bills and already working two jobs while lawsuits from creditors are garnishing their wages? What do they do when two jobs is not enough and they still can't pay the bills, feed their kids and afford health insurance? Please, enlighten me with the "tough lifestyle changes" I need to make.

Clearly you have a chip on your shoulder for bankruptcy. Maybe someone owed you money and filed and included you as a creditor. You have said you're sorry for offending and try to "respectively disagree" but you are here to judge people who've already been through the wringer and before the judge. What more do you want? People are here for support, not snarky answers making them feel worse for their situations.

I respectively disagree mgm. Many people in foreclosure now have filed BK in the past so they probably have not made the tough lifestyle changes necessary to live financially independent.

Frugal living is popular and most people deny the fact that frugal living is sometimes the only answer to their problems if they are unable to increase income.

PS. It is NEVER to late to work harder and sell luxury items. Never.

[mgmadara]

I am offended at many posts on this board but I do not attack the people that write them, I just state why I disagree with them and share my viewpoint.

If you are so offended why do you keep coming back? You are obviously anti-bankruptcy and have an axe to grind. You have nothing to offer except "work more and sell your stuff." Why are you wasting your time and ours?

[Gerry]

Some people need good financial advice and not BK.
Some people need to be taught how to plant a garden.
Some people need to be told that pay TV is a luxury.
Some people need to be told that 2 jobs is the norm.

Some people. Indeed.

[CompTweaker]

Blankslate, I am totally confused. I am just trying to have an intelligent discussion about finance and share what has worked for me and my family.

Just my opinion in this 'intelligent' discussion, but it looks to me like you are very bored and enjoying the attention you get from inciting other's responses with flammatory posts.....which is troll-like behavior....I pointed you out after your second post and this entire scenario continues to amaze me. But have at it, dance to my little response

[blankslate]

You never did answer my question.

The advice you think you need to give to "some people" should be given before they get into debt, not at a time when they are coming here for support. "Live frugal and work hard" is a great life motto, but not the answer at this point. Your advice would probably be more prudent and welcomed in the post bankruptcy section.

I am not concerned about bankruptcy abuse because our system is already in place to discover that abuse. As I've said before there will always be people who are looking for a free ride and finding a way to get it. It doesn't mean that the majority of the people are that way.

Blankslate, I am totally confused. I am just trying to have an intelligent discussion about finance and share what has worked for me and my family. Why are you so sensitive?

I am offended at many posts on this board but I do not attack the people that write them, I just state why I disagree with them and share my viewpoint.

Are you concerned about BK abuse? Has everyone that filed BK deserved it? Was welfare ever abused? If no one abused welfare then it would not have been reformed by Clinton.

I personally know of seven BKs and 6 were BK abuse caused by laziness and materialism. I understand that my limited contacts with the BK system are limitied to my little part of the world but I am guesing that similiar abuse occures in other places.

Three of the six BK cases I personally know of are in financial trouble again and are at serious risk of foreclosure.

Some people need good financial advice and not BK.
Some people need to be taught how to plant a garden.
Some people need to be told that pay TV is a luxury.
Some people need to be told that 2 jobs is the norm.
...

I wish you well blankslate.