Divorce

[EdytaHome]

Anyone divorced or thinking of getting divorced? I wonder if there is a divorce forum out there?

[Pinktiger]

Here's one:

http://forums.healthyplace.com/ubbthreads/postlist.php?Cat=&Board=reldivorce

[tinroofrusted]

I've been divorced, and it was the best decision that I ever made.

Dont' know of any support forums, but my church was great.

[HRx]

see what sort of luck this forum brings you..........http://www.yagt.org/forums/

[EdytaHome]

Thanks,
I'm just so unsure what I should do. I do know that right now I need a good job and I have to not be dependent on my husband of 10 years. For the first time ever I have seen how controlling, degrading and violent at times he can be. I'm sure the bankruptcy and move to IL has put a lot of pressure on both of us... but I also think that now it's time to move on and he seems to refuse to do so. During this whole process he refused to educate himself on BK, I swear he was just there for the ride I did all the work. I'm tired of being blamed for everything...

[Pinktiger]

You need counseling. If you leave him without working through some of this anger, you will only repeat the error later with somebody else. Of course, if he is making life dangerous for you, you must leave at once. But I feel your anger in the post. I think you must be very angry at him right now. I hope you are able to work through this. My first husband was much like this -- expected me to do everything. And then I married another man who is much the same.

[EdytaHome]

You're right we probably need counseling. My family is telling me to just leave him because they know what I'm dealing with and he has shown his horns before. I was always making more money than him and now that I'm not and now that I'm totally dependent on him, he has changed. I'm sure the BK is just adding on to it. Counseling sounds great, it's just that he's self employed as a owner/operator truck driver thus we have no insurance and counseling is probably pretty expensive. To add to it he's gone 5 or 6 days out of the week so it would be really hard to go. I don't know, I'm confused and scared. I've always been the fixer and always very independent. I have a 3 year old that needs me, I don't need another child. When my husband gets home he needs to establish dominance (or something) he criticizes everything my daughter does saying she's learning from me. Like I said I'm tired of being blamed and not appreciated. After all being all alone with a child is not an easy job. So far this has been the hardest job of my life. Anyway, I'm just venting, I guess... I'll try some of the posts recommended.
Thanks to all.............................

[Minnymouth]

My thoughts on divorce.....

1. If you can't live in "peace" with them, get rid of them!!
2. Life is much to short to spend your life with someone who makes your life miserable and your children too.
3. Till "death due us part" can be a lifetime away. (my folks were married 35 years - pure hell - that's a long time to "wait" for someone to die)
4. People "do" grow apart, especially if they marry young.
5. Remember, if your spouse "died" tomorrow, you would survive!!
6. Nothing is FOREVER!! Some things in life are just a short time...
7. Between love and hate - is that THIN LINE....
8. Protect the children - at all costs.
9. Your spouse is supposed to be your mutual "mate", not your boss or control freak!!
10. Where theres a "will" there is a "way"!
11. Most men will "never" attend counseling....they "do" no wrong...(yeah)
12. Both spouse can be abusive - men with their fists - women with their mouths.
13. No one should spend thier lives in fear of another. Especially someone they loved a great deal at one time.
14. There's "help" if you will ask for it.
15. Give your marriage your best shot, if it doesn't work, then its time to go your own way....

DON'T MISUNDERSTAND ME!!!!
Marriage is a commitment...don't enter it lightly.........don't take it lightly....

Always remember, the hand that rocks the cradle - rules the world!!!
The men may "wear" the pants in the family - but its the women who tell them when to zip and unzip them!!

If you are seriously considering divorce - then it's probably TIME.

Something to ponder about..... Minny

[robivi3]

Edny, there is a forum for snipers... I'm sure that there are many divorce forums!

[EdytaHome]

Thanks Minny, Rovibi3, thanks all...
Life just throws out many curves and surprises, doesn't it. I think I'm really ready to be on my own again.

[Minnymouth]

Edytahome,
You "weigh" the pros and cons and make your decision wisely....
it determines the rest of your life.
No one likes to see a marriage end, but sometimes it is necessary, even for both parties!
There are a lot of men that are "control freaks" - they don't want their wives to work, have money, have friends, or leave the house. They want them to "be there" at their beacon call.....

We have a lot of "that" here in KY.... and then on the other hand we also have the "men that won't work" - want to be "supported"...

Crazy world we live in these days....

But a girl has to do what she has to do to "survive" and take care of the children....

Good luck,

Minny