How do you deal with the everyday stresses?

[Beyondrepair]

My husband and I are preparing to file Chapter 7 BK end of December. He is in car sales and works strictly off commission. Four months ago we were on top of the world, but here in the last two months, it has come crashing down. We have already lost one of our 2 leased cars and plan on hanging onto the last leased car for as long as we can. I can't really go and get a job to help him right now because we were close on our means test, and as it looks now, we may not be able to make the mortgage payment in November. Sales for him are way down and by the time taxes, child support and health insurance are taken out, it doesn't look like we we have enough for food, utilities and mortgage. We have stopped paying on everything else. I feel like this whole thing has consumed my mind and our lives. This is all I think about and worry about all day everyday. How do the rest of you cope and keep it from consuming you? I feel like we are the lowest of low and don't plan on telling anyone about our issues (other than my mom and dad who already know).

[AngelinaCatHub]

You are one of many who have felt this way. I do believe everyone here has. Remember, when you are down, there is only one way, up.

At what you have told me, you may just have to bk now. Remember this is a business decision, and not to take it personally. Set your ego aside. It is not your fault that people are not buying cars at this time. I would not.

In my opinion, stop paying everything possible, do NOT use any credit to "get you through". Get the book Chapter 7 from Nolo.com at $17 pdf download, and read. Go pro se if you feel you can learn fast and well. Otherwise the attorney is what you need. Formost you should have one if you are able to do so.

Check into Angelfoodministries.com and you can get very good, fresh, but not fancy food for a small amount.

You have found the best place for non legal advice, and support. None of us (most of us) are not lawyers, but have been down the road you may go. Do this with utmost haste in my personal opinion as I see a flood of bankrupty's coming in the near future.

Store anything you can in food, pay only necessities, and purchase NOTHING on credit. 'Hub

[paintinrosesred]

Excellent advice! We felt the same way as you do now.. it's a bit of a shock when you decide to file. It will get better!! Once I detached myself emotionally from the house and possessions it got a lot easier. It will be a long road but I hear the end is well worth it.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

I dealt with the stress by:

1) Accepting my situation
2) Making a decision to do something about it
3) Creating a plan ( Bk research, lawyer research, means tests)
4) Setting a date to initiate plan
5) Executing my plan
6) Trying to keep my eye on a reasonable date this should be closed.

Things get a little easier when you feel you have some control of your situation. You don't feel so helpless or feel as you have no control over your life and situation. I suspect since your here you most likely have done 1 & 2

Best wishes and take control.

[lillaimof2kids]

You have some very good advise above!

Most importantly, letting it consume you is very damaging to your health! Due to the stress of having to file BK7 and trying to figure out how I was going to keep the heat on in our house, food on the table was more than I could handle! It took a toll! I've been suffering from migraines since january. They're getting better now. I wasn't able to work a full week until May. I've now cut myself back to working 3 days per week, so I can try to get my migraines under control. I can't really afford it, but I have to take care of me first.

Just remember there's much more important things than money!!!!

Angelfood Ministries is wonderful!!! I highly recommend checking into it!

[Beyondrepair]

Thank you for the advice! I've checked into the AngelFoodMinistries and there are some that are local here. We will surely give it a try. My biggest concern is the house. Our house is only 115K and worth about the same. It would be hard for us to rent an apartment around here for less. We've been here 2 years and in a good school district. We just want to do everything possible to keep the house. If we stop making payments on the house until we file for Ch 7 in December, will we run the risk of losing the house during the bankruptcy? It is a VA loan.

[Beyondrepair]

You have some very good advise above!

Most importantly, letting it consume you is very damaging to your health! Due to the stress of having to file BK7 and trying to figure out how I was going to keep the heat on in our house, food on the table was more than I could handle! It took a toll! I've been suffering from migraines since january. They're getting better now. I wasn't able to work a full week until May. I've now cut myself back to working 3 days per week, so I can try to get my migraines under control. I can't really afford it, but I have to take care of me first.

Just remember there's much more important things than money!!!!

Angelfood Ministries is wonderful!!! I highly recommend checking into it!

Thanks!! I hope your migranes get under control soon. This stuff can really take a toll!! I looked into Angelfood Ministries. We are putting in an order soon!! I thank everyone for suggesting this. It sounds much more reasonable than shopping the sales in grocery stores. I've got to find a way to get this off of my mind!! My unhappiness looks as if it is just pouring from my face!! Hopefully things will turn around soon. We are trying to save up for the attorney fees. I'm too afraid to go it on my own. Attorney is charging 1500. Hubby gets about that for a Christmas bonus. So that is how we'll pay for it. Until then, we're just trying to figure how to hang onto the house.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

Beyond.. Are you behind on your payments right now? If not, try to keep your home. I know if I would lose my house I couldn't get another. I read the comments about not paying, Unless you know you are going to loose I would keep paying. If your positive your going to lose it then stop paying. Either way, don't give them an excuse to take your house unless you are sure

[Beyondrepair]

Beyond.. Are you behind on your payments right now? If not, try to keep your home. I know if I would lose my house I couldn't get another. I read the comments about not paying, Unless you know you are going to loose I would keep paying. If your positive your going to lose it then stop paying. Either way, don't give them an excuse to take your house unless you are sure

Our house is the only thing we are not behind on. We've got to keep the payments up to date - i surely don't want the mortgage company having any reason to not let us keep it.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Our house is the only thing we are not behind on. We've got to keep the payments up to date - i surely don't want the mortgage company having any reason to not let us keep it.

[JRScott]

When stressed I play computer games for a bit to shoot stuff

[relief13035]

This is taking a toll on me as well. My secretary, of 5 years, asked me today if I wasn't sleeping because I didn't look like myself. Well, she knows me very well after all these years. I lay in bed every night and try to go to sleep, but my mind won't stop thinking. I am just a few weeks into this process and want it OVER now.

[ready2puke]

I cried all the time even at all the attorney consultations I went to...they all thought I was nuts. I cried from the time I got up til the time I went to bed. I was also worried about my health. I talk about it to my friend and some family member and cry when I talk about it. I read this forum every single day several times til 1am... This forum has kept me sane. I havent cried now in a month and I sleep now also..Even tho I havent filed yet I am getting 20-30 calls a day and havent paid on cc's for 3 months. Its tough I have never been late on paying anything. I wonder...how the hell did my life turn out this way, this isnt the way its supposed to be...blablabla..well it is and I have to deal with it and so will you..Reading really saved me and I hope you'll feel better soon...
xooxoxoxox

BTW Hub why did you say to file haste since there will be tons of filings soon? What do you mean by that? Is it that so many will file that the 60 day club will be the 80 day club or what??

[Beyondrepair]

I cried all the time even at all the attorney consultations I went to...they all thought I was nuts. I cried from the time I got up til the time I went to bed. I was also worried about my health. I talk about it to my friend and some family member and cry when I talk about it. I read this forum every single day several times til 1am... This forum has kept me sane. I havent cried now in a month and I sleep now also..Even tho I havent filed yet I am getting 20-30 calls a day and havent paid on cc's for 3 months. Its tough I have never been late on paying anything. I wonder...how the hell did my life turn out this way, this isnt the way its supposed to be...blablabla..well it is and I have to deal with it and so will you..Reading really saved me and I hope you'll feel better soon...
xooxoxoxox

BTW Hub why did you say to file haste since there will be tons of filings soon? What do you mean by that? Is it that so many will file that the 60 day club will be the 80 day club or what??

I'm sorry you are having to go through this mess, too. It does help to find out that I'm not the only one who feels as if they're going nuts!! I cry all of the time and look like I've aged 10 years over the last month. It hurts to think what has happened to our credit score. That's just something that can only get better as it probably is pretty bad right now. My hubby and I were always proud that we paid our bills on time and we liked to have freaked out when one car payment made it to the place a day late. Boy does that seem frivolous now!! All pride is gone and we've gone into severe survival mode. Gone are the days of picking up takeout if we don't feel like cooking. I've picked up "The Last Lecture" from my local library. I'll have to imerse myself into reading it this weekend and go back for more books. I had forgotten how reading can just take you away for a little while.

Thanks to everyone who has responded. It looks like there are lots of very understanding people on this site and of who has gone through or is going through the exact things we are right now.

[Dirk Squarejaw]

How do I deal with stress? One word: Motorcycling.