Husband Drinking Again..

[chloe0724]

I just needed someone to talk to.

My Husband has started drinking again. I don't know what to do. He has not had a drink in over a year because of his heart issues, but for some unknown reason, decided to start up again.

I like my Husband much more as a sober person. He has been drinking atleast a 6 pack a night. I am repulsed by the smell of the alcohol on him.

All we have been doing is fighting since he started again. We have been in counseling for over a year now and everything was looking up. Now, he is dodging our counselers calls. I made an appointment for us for tomorrow and he at first refused to go. He did eventualy say he would go, but only after I begged.

I don't know what to do. I have been with him through so many problems in our 7 years together. I feel like I am at my final straw.

[HRx]

What explaination does your husband give when you asked him why he felt the need to drink again? Maybe this relapse will be very, very temporary and he will be dry again.

[chloe0724]

He says it has to do with his disablility case. His department is contesting his disablility and he says he's drinking to make his heart as bad as possible before they have their doctor do their exam.

We have no clue when that will be. There is no court date, and our attorney says it could be months away. I can't handle months of this.

[JRScott]

Sorry to hear .

He certainly doesn't want to risk a heart attack or other heart problems if he's had a history of it. Almost everyone contests disability these days. Its just like insurance where they don't want to pay claims sometimes.

I do hope he makes it to counseling with you and perhaps he'll realize this isn't helping.

[OneDay]

Do you believe your husband is an alcoholic?
I have a very close friend going thru a stressfull situation with his wife, her adultery and her drinking... It's a bad combo.

Obviously we do not know your whole siutation, but I have a hard time thinking that drinking a 6 pack a day with give you heart problems over a shorter period of time.

Wish you the best of luck

[AngelinaCatHub]

He says it has to do with his disablility case. His department is contesting his disablility and he says he's drinking to make his heart as bad as possible before they have their doctor do their exam.

We have no clue when that will be. There is no court date, and our attorney says it could be months away. I can't handle months of this.

[NowImDownInIt]

Sounds like alcoholism and he needs personal counseling. I am from a family of alcoholics and myself started drinking at 15 and was in court mandated meetings by 18. It's not really something you can face on your own. He needs your support, and he needs you to put your foot down.

[chloe0724]

Update,

We went to our counseling session this morning and he says he's going to stop. I hope he's true to his word.

[OneDay]

Be supportive, but also be strong and keep true to want you want.

[CindyLou]

My husband went through a "phase"about 18 months ago. He had never drank very much at all and then all of the sudden he started drinking heavily every Friday night. Then it turned into every Friday and Saturday...then.....well you get the picture.

It was a viscious cycle because the more he would drink the more I would nag and the more he would drink and the meaner he would get and the more I would nag and the more....well you get the picture again.

It was horrible. I was convinced he had become an alchoholic and had no hope. I went see a counselor and also attended some Alanon meetings. It was very helpful. I gave up trying to control the situation and lo and behold he just stopped. Just like that. After 6 months of heavy drinking, he just stopped. I got help and he stopped. I was so surprised.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was my fault at all. But my trying to control the situation was just creating a more intense cycle and it became this "I'm gonna do it just because you say I can't kinda thing."

He now drinks just every now and then and really never gets drunk...just normal social drinking.

Now I know this may not be your situation, but I guess the long way to the point I was going to make is this: Please get help yourself and it may help him even more to have your support. I was very open and honest with my husband about the help I was seeking out for his drinking.

Good luck and stay strong and most of all stay safe.

[Flamingo]

"Again"

The key word in your initial posting is "again." Realize your husband is more than likely an alchoholic and until he himself comes to grips as to his issues and learns to deal with that and a possible genetic link (are there other alcoholics or addictive/dependent people in his family?) it will be a continuing cycle until he eventually hits bottom. Even then it may not end.

Contact AA who can help you and your husband. My former husband (deceased at age 43) was an alcoholic, recognized it but did nothing except get in continual accidents, lose job after job and distance his entire family. One of my daughters with him started drinking and after two years joined AA, sober now for 3 years and is a counselor with AA.

Best of luck to you.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

I have been through two rehabs. Both were because I was made to go. My dad is a functional alcoholic and has done well for himself. My mom is non functional and has many problems I drink about twice a year now(compared to 3 or 4 times a week since I was 13). However, some people can't help but to drink. If your husband slips and drinks don't take it personally. Be supportive and tell him to continue to try not to drink. When he slips( because he will) don't give him the excuse to continue with his actions by yelling or ranting about it. Just support him and tell him how long he didn't drink and encourage him to stop for the same amount of time.

The good thing is he went to counceling(sp?). However, if he feels he has a problem he should consider A.A

Best of Luck.

[BKOnce]

The term "drinking" is little vague. Let's define "drinking". If I drink little wine after every dinner, does it count as drinking? Or how many (bottle, cans, etc.) one must consume completely so they can be labeled as "drinking" person?... Or how many drink times per day, per week, per year..etc.?? And what type of beer brand, wine company, or liquor grade, etc.. can be labeled as "heavy drinking" personality/trait??..

Ultimately, do we need to buy a breath test machine every time we drink so to measure our alcohol content in blood or our "eratic" behaviour can be observed by other people as "drinking" personality?

If a person drink "very little" with "uncontrolled/mood swings" behavior versus a person drink "most" but with a very quite & calm/controlled attitude???

[Mi Bankruptcy]

He says it has to do with his disablility case. His department is contesting his disablility and he says he's drinking to make his heart as bad as possible before they have their doctor do their exam.

We have no clue when that will be. There is no court date, and our attorney says it could be months away. I can't handle months of this.

I meant to mention it is common to be denied the first time you apply. I would reapply again. In fact, disability can be difficult there are actual companies that file your claim for you to help get you approved.

[AngelinaCatHub]

The term "drinking" is little vague. Let's define "drinking". If I drink little wine after every dinner, does it count as drinking? Or how many (bottle, cans, etc.) one must consume completely so they can be labeled as "drinking" person?... Or how many drink times per day, per week, per year..etc.?? And what type of beer brand, wine company, or liquor grade, etc.. can be labeled as "heavy drinking" personality/trait??..

Ultimately, do we need to buy a breath test machine every time we drink so to measure our alcohol content in blood or our "eratic" behaviour can be observed by other people as "drinking" personality?

If a person drink "very little" with "uncontrolled/mood swings" behavior versus a person drink "most" but with a very quite & calm/controlled attitude???