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For all the parents out there...

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    For all the parents out there...

    PARENTS

    This came in my email; author is unknown.

    Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing?

    When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you stop worrying?" The nurse said, "When they get out of the accident stage." My mother/father just smiled faintly and said nothing.

    When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them." My mother/ father just smiled faintly and said nothing.

    When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults." My mother/father just smiled faintly and said nothing.

    By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it. My mother/father just smiled faintly and said nothing. I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in it all.

    My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother/father's warm smile and his occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"

    Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

    One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was worried." I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

    PASS IT ON TO OTHER PARENTS (And also to your children. That's the fun
    part.)
    "To go bravely forward is to invite a miracle."

    "Worry is the darkroom where negatives are formed."

    #2
    My kids are in their late 20s and still call me every time they get off a boat, a plane or a train, lol. If I don't hear from them, I don't sleep. They know this, so they humor me.

    My Granny had a definitive answer to this. She said that you stop worrying about your kids when YOU are in your grave.

    Comment


      #3
      I am 31 years old. I give my parents and even my grandmother hell if I can't track them down in a reasonable amount of time.

      I have been known to get panicky and actually drive to their houses to check on them. Which is a minimum 45 min each way.

      I am so bad that they even email me their vacation plans so I know exactly when they will be leaving and returning.

      I am even worse with my own children. Heaven help me when they get to the driving age and want more freedom! I might have to get sedated for that.

      Comment


        #4
        If no one cares about you - then no one worries about you either.......

        Aren't you lucky that they do!!! Some of us have no one to worry about and no one to worry about us!!
        Minny

        "It's amazing the paths that our feet sometimes follow in life".

        My suggestions are from "personal experience" and research only. Do not consider this as legal advice. Each bankruptcy case is different.

        Comment


          #5
          Hey Cat, this is beautiful...... I soon realized what it was all about when I feared for a child and my father hugged me and asked "How is my baby doing?"
          Filed C7 Aug 31 2008
          341 Oct 8 2008
          Discharged Dec 9 2008

          Comment


            #6
            I am 45 and live abroad, and my mother and sister want me to check in periodically.

            Comment


              #7
              Truly beautiful, uplifting, and so very true!!!!

              Comment


                #8
                This was an amazing post! When I was younger my world revolved around my parents. But I think there is a "gray period", between the ages of 18 and 30 that you try to find yourself without the constant reliance on your parents. When I turned 30, I did exactly what "over our heads" commented on earlier. I nagged and constantly bugged my mother if she wouldn't answer my calls or even just call me on her own. I know she is an amazing person and a very responsible adult, though I don't tell her this. I keep it the worrying deep inside, and when I do finally receive a call it makes my day brighter!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Well so very true, I won't call it being unnecessarily worrisome, it is the genuine affection and love for our nears and dears in our heart, some thing which makes us human.
                  URL Removed by Admin

                  Comment


                    #10
                    It becomes so much worse when something bad DOES happen. My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer about 18mths ago. I try really hard not to constantly check up on her, but I worry about her a lot.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by confusedinok View Post
                      It becomes so much worse when something bad DOES happen. My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer about 18mths ago. I try really hard not to constantly check up on her, but I worry about her a lot.
                      Please check back and let us know how she is doing. {{{HUGS}}} Also, how are YOU doing???
                      "To go bravely forward is to invite a miracle."

                      "Worry is the darkroom where negatives are formed."

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by AngelinaCat View Post
                        Please check back and let us know how she is doing. {{{HUGS}}} Also, how are YOU doing???
                        Thank you for your concern. She's actually doing better than expected at this point and we'll take it for as long as we can get it because it could be much, much worse. I'm doing better than I was 18mths ago. lol!! If we could just get on the other side of the financial mess, that will help. It's been a difficult thing to not share with my mom because I usually share most everything with her, but it would be too much for her.

                        Thanks again for asking!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Please keep checking in here at the forum, not just this thread, but look at the others. Ask questions if you need to. Post a frustrated rant if you need to, just preface it with something to the effect of: "I am letting off steam", etc., so that the other Mods will understand...

                          Please also keep in mind that Mom may want to help. She may be more aware of your financial situation than you realize, so a careful, bland, question or two, may help both of you. {{{HUGS}}}
                          "To go bravely forward is to invite a miracle."

                          "Worry is the darkroom where negatives are formed."

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by fltoo View Post
                            My kids are in their late 20s and still call me every time they get off a boat, a plane or a train, lol. If I don't hear from them, I don't sleep. They know this, so they humor me.

                            My Granny had a definitive answer to this. She said that you stop worrying about your kids when YOU are in your grave.
                            This is called Mama's Love !

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Spammer in Training

                              Originally posted by reddy2011 View Post
                              This is called Mama's Love !
                              Reddy2011, PLEASE don't drag up six month old irrelevant threads. They have been read ad nauseum. Please contribute if you wish to up your posting counts. Thanks. 'Hub
                              If I knew it all, would I be here?? Hang in there = Retained attorney 8-06, Filed 12-28-07, Discharge 8-13-08, Finally CLOSED 11-3-09, 3-31-10 AP Dismissed, Informed by incompetent lawyer of CLOSED status, October 14, 2010.

                              Comment

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