Cell phone answer greeting

[robivi3]

I have gotten some great responses to my anwser/busy message on my cell. I have always been extremely good with foreign accents, just a knack. Spanish, English, Yiddish, Russian, etc... and expecially my Gestapo accent so i decided to do my own cell message...

"Hello, you have reach in Russian Embassy Republic of Georgia. We are not here right now because they kick us out of Country because we make big invasion. However if you leave message at tone we will be happy to return call after negotiations are concluded..."

anybody else got some starnge ones?

[BassBoy]

Not an accent or a cell phone, but I constantly change my home phone answering machine's greeting (we don't use our cell phones for everyday use).

One greeting I had for a while was:
The machine would pick-up and my voice would say:
"Hello."
Then again, "Hello."
The the thrid time was, "Hello." "Are you there?" "Well we're not, so please leave a message."

It was funny to listen to the person calling, shouting "Hello" and "I'm hear" into the answering machine, but I had to change it because callers would get annoyed.

My newest one is:
"Hello."
"You have reached XXX-XXXX."
"If you are calling for (my name), please press 1."
"If you are calling for (my wife's name), please press 2."
"If your calling for (my son's name), please press 3."
"If you are a telemarketer or lender with an offer of credit or loan, please hang up and try your call again."

This was was even more funny than my old one because you could hear the callers pressing the buttons.

What a riot!

[PoorGrammyinBK7]

Several years ago, when we had an answering machine, we made up a song message to the tune of an old, old country song and my teenage son sang it, playing his guitar. It was a lot of fun listening to people singing back to us! Someone even called the local country station and they played it on the air.

If you are old enough to recognize the first line of it (haha), you can sing along ... It went like this:

Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone...
This is _____ _____ sayin "we're not home"
Please don't hang up! I'm not quite finished with this song.
Just leave your message, name and number at the tone..

[Cali]

BB - I love the if you are lender one. LOL

[AngelinaCat]

Gosh, I can't be that original! *Sigh*

One of our friends, an older lady living alone, had on her answering machine a recording that her adult son did: "Hello. You have reached the number you have dialed!" That was it, nothing else. She kept that message for a long while, but I guess she had too many complaints as later on she got a more conventional greeting.

[ready2puke]

I have one I used to do...Hello this is so and so, Im sorry I cant pick up the phone right now, Im all tied up at the moment. Please leave your phone number and message after the beep and I'll get back to you....(in a high pitched voice) right after I get these ropes off....
lol great fun

[lillaimof2kids]

Right now my hubby's message says...

"Hey!" Slight pause
"How you doing?" Slight pause
"Well wish I could talk, but I'm not here right now. Lease a message."

Everyone gets so pissed off, they think it's him. You would think they would realize it after the 10th time they call and get the message. LOL

[justbroke]

I just installed an IP based phoone system at home. It has great voicemail ability with very configurable menus.

If someone calls and the number is "unknown" or "not available" or anything like that, they get this...

"All representatives of the household are currently assisting other telemarketers"

"Please hold and your call will be answered in the order it was received."

"They have been carried away by monkeys."

"Something is terribly wrong!"

(fast busy)

[Keebler]

My favorite message wasn't a message at all but one of the phone company error messages.

Years ago a guy I worked with knew how to forward his line to a number that would play the message "Boo-bee-beep We're sorry, you must first dial a one before dialing this number. Please hang up and try your call again." The cool part is when you dialed a one for a local number you'd get the other message for real "Boo-bee-beep We're sorry, it is not necessary to dial a one before dialing this number. Please hang up and try your call again." So no matter how you tried to call you'd be told to do the opposite.

He also liked to forward his number to the message that said "We're sorry, due to heavy call volume your call could not be completed. Please hang up and try your call again later." And it was pretty funny until it got him in trouble with his girlfriend.

[Recessionist]

My cell phone message used to say "Hello. You have reached the bottom of my handbag because I couldn't find the phone fast enough. You are buried under 16 pens, half a roll of Wintergreen Lifesavers and 3 tubes of lipstick, only one of which I like." People really liked that one. I changed it to sound more professional while I am job hunting.

[jeb]

Sigh - some people never grow up! - jb

[ready2puke]

Yea...thank God !

Sigh - some people never grow up! - jb

I think thats the only thing keeping me sane is feeling like a kid sometimes..

[jeb]

[runforcover]

cool thread

I am planning my approach to the calls. Just found out my only phone, a cell phone, will screen calls. Only the numbers on a list that I set up will get through. Everything else goes to the at&t recorded messaging.
After reading this thread I think I will try to set up a recorded message that will go something like...Name is____. I am currently broke and planning to file bk. I am seeking protection from gm because of a plague ship of a new car I unfortunately have. I will not reaffirm with anyone. But should I pull up out this mess, my INTENT is to pay on the principals only. I will occasionally answer the phone. But today is not that day. Do not call the folks I work with as I am a contractor and not an employee and I am never there. They will just tell you to get lost.
What do you think?

[DeadManCrawling]

Hi, and thanks for calling.

I'm probably swimming in the neon blue seas outside my cottage in the Bahamas, or in the Limo on the way to the airport where my plane and flight-crew are waiting to whisk me off to Vegas. . . Or Paris. . . Or Rome. . . or. . . you get the idea.

Please leave a message at the tone, and if you are a bill collector, leave me a detailed message. I enjoy playing them for friends-it's part of a new drinking game we devised last week.