Men/Boys are stupid

[chpxiii]

You also didn't address how role playing games (like dungeons and dragons) and heavy metal were responsible for people killing themselves ...

Bandit, I'm all about personal responsiblity. You've taken things to the extreme that doesn't even address what the original issue is talking about.

Again, I don't blame "The Internet" for people cheating. Everything a person does is an action, a deliberate action, taken to accomplish a task. And if that task is to cheat on their spouse, it doesn't matter the medium, the person will do it.

[Bandit]

You also didn't address how role playing games (like dungeons and dragons) and heavy metal were responsible for people killing themselves ....

Oh yah, that is true also & was proven in the court of law to have been used to kill someones father in real life- I would not want to step on any toes because I know a kid who plays that stuff for 14 hours a day every day & curses his mother when she tries to get him off of it, I also know it is influencing his behavior & respect for others for the worse.
Yes, I blame that game & other games like it & the makers of them as it is a bad influence.

Bandit, I'm all about personal responsiblity. You've taken things to the extreme that doesn't even address what the original issue is talking about.

Again, I don't blame "The Internet" for people cheating. Everything a person does is an action, a deliberate action, taken to accomplish a task. And if that task is to cheat on their spouse, it doesn't matter the medium, the person will do it.

right. me too but I am also about what influences people.

you made it sound like internet has nothing to do with influencing spouses to cheat on each other & secret pictures & groups with sex chat online don't exist to make it more reliable & that the web is equal to other media for cheating through. That is what I was saying.

The OP is about a personal relationship & after the last one on here, I feel it is a waste of time for me to talk about other peoples relationships here.

Well...I barely have heard from him since he's been back. I think getting settled back into life and all..

And now he's suddenly got a gf. I found out online (I hate myspace), anyway....Yeah, I think he could have just told me. I feel like he totally led me on.

Well, I guess there millions & millions of people you can meet online if that one is no good. Better to know now than to make an investment & find out later.

[One Half Full]

I was in the Army (I'm a girl). Lots of guys really do take advantage of the self indulgence factor to try to impress females. Lots of girls think that since they are in the military they are somehow isolated, or have less or limited choice. Its a tricky one, but I feel that men need the touching stuff and long term relationships really do work less for them than women. Women have more of a "mental" life, and seem to store memories like camels.

I've met a variety of men on the internet-- most cheating on their wives-- true. Talking to strange women is not really cheating (I guess according to them). But I feel that raising promises or expectations is a kind of cheating, because falsifying his self promotion by lying about something fundamental as marital state, and other very important thing is really underhanded. Humans usually know only what they are told. For a male to say he is not married and free and available, and also "likes you" is like making an appointment with someone who can charge you if you back out because you have taken up their time and energy. Sort of like: I lost Bill (who was telling the truth) because I decided to talk to Greg (who was lying). So I think it is better to treat everyone male with a bit of a "to be seen" attitude. I think this is "right" actually, because in a real one-on-one dating situation, the dates are kind of like tests, or interviews. Lots of judgments of suitability are done, from whether you "turn me on" to what your politics are, to "are you interesting enough to keep my attention if we start dating?"

When I first started to use chats and go to MSG Bords, I had this idea that I was actually there to meet someone and start a relationship. After much fuming, and many cheaters, I realised that this was more of a chit-chat with neighbors thing. I personally like meeting on-line people, but I no longer think that they will be more than they are.

I think I have high standards though-- probably why I am not/ never have been married.

[chpxiii]

you made it sound like internet has nothing to do with influencing spouses to cheat on each other & secret pictures & groups with sex chat online don't exist to make it more reliable & that the web is equal to other media for cheating through. That is what I was saying.

Quite frankly, that's how you took it - I never said that sex sites or anything else didn't exist. No where did I say that at all.

Consider this one last point as I am done with this conversation.

You say that the Internet is all about social interaction. I disagree with that.. but that's ok. One thing you haven't taken into consideration is that The Internet (as if it were some sort of living entity - I repeat, it is NOT) is actually a *passive* medium UNTIL a person CHOOSES to "log on" to the Internet and again TAKES ANOTHER ACTION to go in search of porn sites, sex sites, or any other interest they may have, i.e. scrapbooking. TV is far more intrusive considering the fact that people are more likely watching TV than they are online. BION, there aren't that many people online compared to how many people have a television set.

As human beings we are not (yet - hopefully!) wired directly to a computer network where someone can control our thoughts or actions. Therefore, a person who is hell bent on cheating on their spouse will take action to do so. Whether they use the internet, news papers, or chat lines on telephones, the medium matters not, but the fact that the cheating spouse TOOK ACTION.

[Bandit]

I've met a variety of men on the internet-- most cheating on their wives-- true. Talking to strange women is not really cheating (I guess according to them). But I feel that raising promises or expectations is a kind of cheating, because falsifying his self promotion by lying about something fundamental as marital state, and other very important thing is really underhanded.

That is a big problem today & it did not exist 10 years ago. I remember driving married people to the airports who would talk in confidence to me about them cheating on their spouse (both men & women) while they were away through flight in another town on buisiness. You used to have to literally MOVE yourself to cheat. Today it is still cheating but done right from the home through chat & pictures & it is rampid.

I was in the Army (I'm a girl).

I salute you soldier

[FreshLikeADaisy]

....And now he's suddenly got a gf. I found out online (I hate myspace), anyway....Yeah, I think he could have just told me. I feel like he totally led me on.

I would have responded before, it's just very hard for me to say "I'm sorry that happened to you," when my gut is yelling, "Congratulations!!!" Someone whose commitments are that much hot air is not someone you need in your life, especially right now as you go through this bk.

I know it hurts, and depending on how much you were into him, maybe for some time. For that, I really am sorry. But in the meantime, congratulations on losing a loser!

[Bandit]

You say that the Internet is all about social interaction. I disagree with that.. but that's ok. One thing you haven't taken into consideration is that The Internet (as if it were some sort of living entity - I repeat, it is NOT) is actually a *passive* medium UNTIL a person CHOOSES to "log on" to the Internet and again TAKES ANOTHER ACTION to go in search of porn sites, sex sites, or any other interest they may have, i.e. scrapbooking. TV is far more intrusive considering the fact that people are more likely watching TV than they are online. BION, there aren't that many people online compared to how many people have a television set.

As human beings we are not (yet - hopefully!) wired directly to a computer network where someone can control our thoughts or actions. Therefore, a person who is hell bent on cheating on their spouse will take action to do so. Whether they use the internet, news papers, or chat lines on telephones, the medium matters not, but the fact that the cheating spouse TOOK ACTION.

Are we not having social interaction right now? Would you like my email address & we can have a secret relationship online?

No, you can't have my telephone number or address or place of employment but we could meet in a secret place on my way to work in the mornings via email & chat (I dont want my wife to find out if you call my house).

The world is so wired to the internet there is no return, unless you move to Africa where there is no electric.

After all you do get more choices & interaction on the internet than in the newspaper & it is cheaper than a dating service or cable TV.

I am just messing with ya, chpxiii. I am not being serious about all that because I would never & have never cheated when I was in a relationship nor would I try to get someone who was in one.

[chpxiii]

I am just messing with ya, chpxiii. I am not being serious about all that because I would never & have never cheated when I was in a relationship nor would I try to get someone who was in one.

[chpxiii]

I know it hurts, and depending on how much you were into him, maybe for some time. For that, I really am sorry. But in the meantime, congratulations on losing a loser!

I'd like to ditto Fresh..Daisy here.

Consider this one less thing you need to worry about in your life.

[danaf]

ughh - sorry you were waiting on this dude. BUT consider yourself lucky that it didn't get more serious. You deserve an honest man - not one that plays games.