Men/Boys are stupid

[BKcrazy]

Argh. Had something interesting going on with someone who was coming back from Iraq. I had seen him on his 2 week from that deployment. Actually had to go all the way to VA, cause their two weeks doesn't allow much travel tim. We hadn't really ever said we were "together", but I guess you could say we were seeing each other. And there was the going to be something down the line. He knew I was going to be moving to FL, which he said he would come see me once I was out there too.

Well, fast forward. He got back at the end of Oct. Kept saying he was going to come an visit me here in AZ. And kept asking when I was going to FL. I kept getting that out of him, that he has to figure it out when he can visit me. Ok, fine I've been patient enough.

Well...I barely have heard from him since he's been back. I think getting settled back into life and all..

And now he's suddenly got a gf. I found out online (I hate myspace), anyway....Yeah, I think he could have just told me. I feel like he totally led me on.

[woohoogirl]

I agree. I am a current member of the I HATE MEN club. Would you like to see my identification card? LOL

[BKcrazy]

Hrm...I think I need to get an id card and see what the benes are.

Thanks for making me chuckle.

[AMISLANDER]

The internet has ruined many relationships.

[chpxiii]

The internet has ruined many relationships.

I would completely disagree with that. It's *people* who have ruined many relationships.

[Minnymouth]

Long distance relationships are the "hardest kind" to keep active and alive..... your partner is - out of sight, out of mind, out of reach - and they feel comfortable playing around since your not there......
Many are a waste of time, emotions, and energy.....

[woohoogirl]

Anyone else care to join the I HATE MEN Club? Actually, it's not all men, it just happens to be the ones I know. It doesn't matter if it is a man or woman, some people just don't know how to treat people. I guess I should change the name of the club to I HATE PEOPLE? Any takers?

[Bandit]

Anyone else care to join the I HATE MEN Club? Actually, it's not all men, it just happens to be the ones I know. It doesn't matter if it is a man or woman, some people just don't know how to treat people. I guess I should change the name of the club to I HATE PEOPLE? Any takers?

I am in that club. I don't have but a handful of long term friends & everyone else (hundreds of acquaintances) I am sure will not be at my funeral & I will not be at theirs.

Not that I hate them all, but have learned to remain neutral with most. I spent most of my life trusting everyone that I meet & now I can't deal with the inconsistancy & lack of whatever you want to call it...


I feel most people don't actually cause harm to others but they don't actually bring any happines or help either. It is like no one wants to really be there & when a personal crisis comes most people will leave you high & dry because they do not care either way if you do well or if you die.

OTH, I have some very good friends who I have always been there for & they also for me, no matter what.

[Bandit]

The internet has ruined many relationships.

It has. before that people had to literally go out to search & spend the time at bars, at work, or whatever with another partner, now they just use the web to chat & make arrangements to go cheat on their spouse with strangers in secret thinking that is the convenient life & wont get caught.

Then you have the whole pedophile mess that the web has made all that easier for to do, yet also made it eaiser to get caught!

That is not to mention how easy it is today to get ripped off as people again are invited into your bank accounts, your home, identity theft & personal info online & do it very quickly & not get caught. They would used to have literally break into your home or the bank, now they just do it online from anywhere at any time.

I compare it to television media where you could see those things in a film but it did not invite people & contacts that you really do not know directly into your home the way the web does. You still had to literally go out or pick up the phone to do that kind of thing.

It has its pros & cons but has definately made both the pros & cons easier. To me the use of the web is a no win thing as I do not see progress or loss, just another mans invention used for some good & for some wicked.

[chpxiii]

The reason why I don't blame The Internet (as if it were some living entity that can make you do something) is because that takes the blame and responsibility off of the person who took action to cheat on their spouses. And I do not agree with that. This is like saying that role playing games or Heavy Metal music was making people kill themselves. Or that guns kill people. Uhm. No.

While the Internet may make information and contact easier and quicker, it is no more responsible for ruining relationships than say, personals in the news paper, or hanging out at bars and night clubs, or work place "romances."

Cheating spouses and the people they cheat with should have the blame and responsibility placed squarely on their shoulders. It is *their* fault. Not "The Internet." "The Internet" is simply a network of computers that has some accessibility to information.

[woohoogirl]

I think most people are self absorbed. They aren't trying to be mean, they just don't see what is actually going on in front of them. I have a friend that got dropped by his long time girlfriend when he had to have back surgery. There's a word for her that I can't repeat here, and it's not the same word I'd use for my no good cradle robbing sorry piece of work ex. Ohhh, I went on a tangent didn't I? Sorry, I'll go take my medication and sit quietly in the corner for a while.

[chpxiii]

I think most people are self absorbed. They aren't trying to be mean, they just don't see what is actually going on in front of them. I have a friend that got dropped by his long time girlfriend when he had to have back surgery. There's a word for her that I can't repeat here, and it's not the same word I'd use for my no good cradle robbing sorry piece of work ex. Ohhh, I went on a tangent didn't I? Sorry, I'll go take my medication and sit quietly in the corner for a while.

woohoogirl, yes. I think that's it. Self absorption for many people.

When my boyfriend was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis last year, after a few weeks of him telling me we finally sat down and talked. I could tell he was about to cry. Part of the diagnosis was a lesion was found in his spine. There's a very good possibility he'll end up wheelchair bound. We're hoping not and the meds reverse the MS.

Anyway, he just said very seriously and then looked away, I could tell he wanted to cry and said, "If this EVER becomes too much for you, and you want to leave, just promise me you will atleast let me know that much?" hoo boy. I burst into tears. I told him it was never a question of whether I should or when to leave, but simply a prayer for the strength to go through this. I'm as committed to him today as back then. (So in looking for a house, we're taking this possibility into consideration, although we are, of course, hoping it never happens.)

BKCrazy, I know what you're going through.

Back in like, 90 or 91, I was subscribing to some writer's magazines (I thought I wanted to be a writer then.) In the back there were some ads for pen pals. I answered a couple. One of which was a guy. We ended up talking on the phone and it seemed that we were really liking each other. Even started making plans to maybe meet up. He'd fly down to meet me.

Then one day I received a letter saying he met someone and he really liked her and that he was sorry but he was going to try and make things work with her.

(All this before the days of the Internet! )

Needless to say I was very sad. I did like him and we exchanged pictures and everything. Over time that healed. And like Minnymouth says, long distance relationships are NOT easy. I learned from that. No more long distance relationships. Heck, "normal" close distance relationships are tough as it is, why add another stressor?

This will pass, sweetie. Get your BK finished and done with. Start to get your finances in order and other areas in your life. The Spirit of the Universe will put in your life someone who is perfect for you when you're ready. I believe it.

[BKcrazy]

Thanks Chp! That made me tear up here. I know that you are right. I have a full plate here. Just seems things happened at the same time you know? Throws a little salt into the wound. I just wish he would have told me. Would have been better than finding out on my own.

But, last night, as I was shredding docs (AGAIN), I was reminded that I thought the world was ending when I was getting divorced. And I had a ton of history with my ex-husband. And not so much with this guy. So....That kind of helped put things into perspective as well.

[woohoogirl]

chpxiii, you have my utmost respect for staying with your boyfriend. My boyfriend left me when I had a MS exacerbation last spring and of course his leaving made it worse. But I am so thankful that he did leave because now I have control over the remote, the bed, and most importantly, MY LIFE!!

[Bandit]

The reason why I don't blame The Internet (as if it were some living entity that can make you do something) is because that takes the blame and responsibility off of the person who took action to cheat on their spouses. And I do not agree with that. This is like saying that role playing games or Heavy Metal music was making people kill themselves. Or that guns kill people. Uhm. No.

While the Internet may make information and contact easier and quicker, it is no more responsible for ruining relationships than say, personals in the news paper, or hanging out at bars and night clubs, or work place "romances."

Cheating spouses and the people they cheat with should have the blame and responsibility placed squarely on their shoulders. It is *their* fault. Not "The Internet." "The Internet" is simply a network of computers that has some accessibility to information.

I agree with a lot of that but there is another side that I am also willing to acknowledge.
If the automatic rifle & nuclear weapon did not exist, you would have to pick up rocks or break someones neck to kill them with your bare hands. Even the law knows better to shoot a weapon when another weapon is being held on someone or you better be a real good mark smith when you fire. In self defense it is also taught that you do not struggle when someone is holding a gun to your head or knife to your throat but to do what they say because they may very well kill you if you try to struggle.

You have a much better chance for less blood shed & fewer murders without weapons because it gives the people a fair chance to fight.

You have some nut job going into the mall & & school houses firing hundreds of rounds on innocent people but if he had to use his bare hands he would only get one or two instead of 20 & the people would be able to stop others from being killed. This is a growing trend that people just accept today.

Though I do maintain the right to bare weapons & use them for self defense I also see another side where there would be much less 'easy' crime & hate without them, not to mention the innocent bystanders & accidents that take place.

While I could agree that an unloaded gun is nothing more than metal rock to bludger someone with, I will disagree that loaded guns do not kill people. Enough loaded guns have gone off by mistake, even in the military, for me to know that accidental deaths happen that would not happen without them.

It never ends because of fear & everyone wants to have the biggest weapon & of course we live in a world where people love to see death, blood & gutts, even if just on a movie. I feel that diet has been curved a little from the days of Romans feeding people to the lions for fun & sport in their arenas, there is still a blood thirsty world who gets that fulfilled through watching movies.

Cheating spouses and the people they cheat with should have the blame and responsibility placed squarely on their shoulders. It is *their* fault. Not "The Internet." "The Internet" is simply a network of computers that has some accessibility to information

...and Cain killed Abel without the internet while in Utah you can have all the wives & girlfirends you want with no internet

While the Internet may make information and contact easier and quicker, it is no more responsible for ruining relationships than say, personals in the news paper, or hanging out at bars and night clubs, or work place "romances."

Putting the responsibilty to the side for a minute & look at the media itself & what it offers...
So explain to me exactly how there is no difference in meeting by the using the newspaper over the internet? Don't you have to make a phone call & wait for the phone to ring back to make contact? Don't you have to fill out personal information to be in a dating service?

& how is there no difference in the responsibilty of what is offered between the web & other media?

in using your time to be at a bar flirting when you can be at home with your wife right under her nose while she is cooking dinner & the husband be flirting in chat rooms or secret email online?
Wont the wife wonder where you are if you start hanging for hours at the bar?

If you are going to buy porn, don't you have to go buy/rent it & then hide it somehwere? there are tens of thousands of porn sites today totally destroying people & you think the internet is no different from magazines or newspaper?

You do know the the kids also have access to all these things at a very young age where they literally had to be of age to buy something like that or find a stash in the garage, before the web existed? Please spare me the filters, the kids know how to get pass the filters before you ever put one on.

Even having a video of porn does not give you the option to meet people. Today the web is ALL about meeting people.

The newspaper, mags, video & Television are passive media & you cannot meet people directly through that. You would have to write, fill out paper forms, use the phone to make contacts that are all easily trackable.

The Internet is totally interactive with people & can be done with little or no trace especially when using public ones.

I see a big difference. In fact I view the difference being an unloaded gun (magazine/TV) verses a loaded gun (internet).

What do you think, chpxiii?