I Honestly Hate Christmas!

[sandhall]

we did christmas a little different this yr. our kids are 18 and 20 no little kiddies in our family extended included so what we did was pick three names off the angel tree at our church and bought the items the kids needed and sent out a card to our relatives thanking them for letting a child have christmas by us not sending them a gift. Our kids had a great time buying the gifts they were in charge of that and wrapping them.Then for our own kids x mas we all decided to pick a family we all knew and buy their x mas dinner makings. we decided this would be truly a fresh start for our family this yr and every yr to come. we have a saying in our house we get yr around meaning we have shoes coats clothes and food so why not help someone who can't have it all the time. this time last yr we barely had anything in our house to eat but we have rearranged since filing bk and decided to pay it forward

[woohoogirl]

That's beautiful sandhall. Makes me wish I could do something like that. Maybe next year.

[BassBoy]

.....so what we did was pick three names off the angel tree at our church and bought the items the kids needed and sent out a card to our relatives thanking them for letting a child have christmas by us not sending them a gift.

NOW THAT'S THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS! BLESS YOUR HEARTS!

[JollyGG]

we did christmas a little different this yr. our kids are 18 and 20 no little kiddies in our family extended included so what we did was pick three names off the angel tree at our church and bought the items the kids needed and sent out a card to our relatives thanking them for letting a child have christmas by us not sending them a gift. Our kids had a great time buying the gifts they were in charge of that and wrapping them.Then for our own kids x mas we all decided to pick a family we all knew and buy their x mas dinner makings. we decided this would be truly a fresh start for our family this yr and every yr to come. we have a saying in our house we get yr around meaning we have shoes coats clothes and food so why not help someone who can't have it all the time. this time last yr we barely had anything in our house to eat but we have rearranged since filing bk and decided to pay it forward

What a beautiful christmas. I wish your family the best.

[sandhall]

Thanks all. But after this yr's ups and downs i guess we decided to go back to the old ways and really get in touch with what we need and don't need. I wish everyone a Safe and Happy New Year May all your hopes and dreams come true but also I hope that all your troubles and pains but lifted

[FreshLikeADaisy]

I stopped "celebrating christmas," years ago. I had to stop somewhere. I just got tired of being broke every year and the pressure and stress of it all. It was hard to do but after awhile it became routine.

Heh! Exactly. I did this 20 years ago and have NEVER regretted it. Growing up, Christmas and especially the a) presents/gifts and b) dining arrangements were used as emotional weapons. When I was 20 or so, there was one memorable Christmas Eve family gathering when I just couldn't take the drama anymore; I left saying "Never again." And I haven't. Jesus does not expect me to celebrate His birthday with manipulation and hurtful drama, so I have opted out altogether and have no moral qualms about it at all.

I tell people not to buy for me, and if they do anyway I accept it graciously but do not give anything in return. The very few times I have gotten the whole guilt thing from a family member (who, again, were central to my decision to cease and desist Christmas activities) I have simply explained that for however many years, I have not done Christmas, not sent a single Christmas card, nor sent a single Christmas present, nor attended a single Christmas party or even drunk the first Christmas eggnog (that part is true bcz I hate the stuff). After saying this, I shrug and say, "Sorry you feel that way. If you want to have a 3rd Tuesday of January party I'll be happy to attend, but you already know, and have known for years, that I don't do Christmas." Then I walk away. I don't hear much after that.

What a burden is lifted! Like you, Catch, I'm very generous during the rest of the year (when I have $$) but I can't take that holiday dysfunctional family guilt crap. I just can't. And frankly they should be very happy that I leave them to like-minded people to play that crazy dysfunctional guilt crap in peace; it's one less person in the world going postal.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

I can't stand holidays either. My ex-husband ruined them because of his GF. Every holiday. But, I'm getting rid of old docs right now, from when we were married (divorced in 2000). So therapeutic.

Ohhh, yeaaah.

I had a friend once who worked for AT&T and had a horrible, horrible employment experience (not uncommon at AT&T). He ended up leaving and finding another job, but in the meantime he had all this AT&T promotional stuff they were always giving out: coffee mugs, little tchotchkes sealed in acrylic, keyrings, all of that uselessness. He finally got sick of looking at it and piled it all in a big box and took it into his back yard, whereupon he proceeded to shoot the hell out of all of it with a BB gun. He said it was immensely satisfying to watch the coffee cups explode, and see how much shot an acrylic paperweight would take before it disintegrated. I wish you the same sort of fulfilling experience.

[HRx]

All the commericialization of christmas...and with "everyone"/"everything" making people feel compelled/required to---spend...spend....spend to buy everyone a gift(s). Has pretty much turned the true essence of this day to shit.

[One Half Full]

I have a work-friend I buy a gift for every year. It dosent matter who gets what, but the gift is usually around 10-15 dollars. I just bought him a huge jug of local Iowa Honey. We're the only ones who exchange gifts. We love "Modern" and Vintage Retro style and we get stuff from our favorite expensive designer stuff showcase. Cheap stuff like windshield scrapers and herb choppers. just "Gadgets." He's the only person I actually have fun shopping for. Everyone else is a chore. I did a painting of my dog (Italian Greyhound). My Brother saw it on-line and told me he absolutely loved the painting-- So I am going to send it to him. I'm lucky because I can paint but a painting still costs some money to make. 40$ for stretched canvass, a percentile of tubes of paint (and/or oils and dryers and waxes) that can cost 30-40 $ each.

[Minnymouth]

Christmas is so commercialized....... and its all about spend - spend - spend.
What makes parents "think" they have to spend $500.00 on a child for Christmas??? Some even more!!! They buy for them all year long anyways........

Christmas is about our spiritual lives, our spiritual beliefs, and the closeness of family and friends.

I still give small gifts at work, and to some of the neighborhood children, but not a whole lot anymore.

I talk to my brothers on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and wish them all the best and catch up on their lives. Most live out of state and stay home during the holidays.

Christmas Eve (me and my girls) will build us a fire in the fireplace, and spend a relaxing evening with a few friends/neighbors stopping in to spend a few minutes..... our neighborhood is like that.......

When my mom was living (bedridden) everyone in the neighborhood (all 27 houses) stopped by off and on on Christmas Eve to wish her a Merry Christmas and bring her little snacks and trinkets...... she enjoyed it soooooooo much..... and the excitement of all the children waiting on Santa.

We still have an "Old Fashioned Christmas" around our neighborhood and I LOVE IT............. it's all about caring, sharing, and counting our blessings.....

They can keep their "commercialized" Christmas....... it won't be around my house - EVER......

[ohwell]

Minny can I move to your neighborhood?? That sounds so nice!

My perspective has changed so much since we don't have the money to do the gift thing. Thankfully family isn't close by so we don't have the drama(have enough of that far away already..if you ever find my post about that from awhile back you'd be appalled what my sis in law did to me last year!!!). My husband and I decided we aren't doing the gift thing anymore for the extended family.

I can't believe people spend 500 bucks on presents for a child, that's insane!!! I got a few gifts, but nothing extravagant. Today with the video games out there its really tough on people with tight budgets(aka US). Thank God for ebay!!

Christmas is so beyond materialistic, I need to get a manger scene eventually so my child can put the baby Jesus in there first thing when she wakes up before any presents are opened - I did that when I was little(I guess my mom made us do that? I don't remember where that came from), and it was truly my favorite memory of Christmas... I miss that!

[One Half Full]

The one thing I truly remember about Christmas is kneeling on the couch and looking out of the window with some sibling and looking at the stars and imagining/wondering/ possibly dreaming that snow would come. Christmas, pagan, Christian or whatever is the celebration of the darkest and longest night of the year (usually the 22nd, not the 25th). On the longest night of the year, send out your negativity and gather up the positive vibe for the new year. This might be a good exercise to those of us in this situation. Have a crazy dance, or a wild shrieking ceremony. I know I really feel a lot of pressure needs to be relieved. Good will to all.

[epiphany]

I have not spent a single cent yet on Xmas this year. Fortunately, my family (parents, brothers and sisters in law) do not expect anything. My parents usually give me some cash for Xmas and seriously do not want me to buy them anything. They know I have no money but they have no idea that I am going to file BK and I am not going to tell them.

I felt really bad about not being able to give anything to my 2 neices and one nephew however. They are tweens - teenagers. And then I got creative. I will give them each something. I am giving them things I already have, things I don't really want to part with but that they will get more enjoyment out of than me. For one neice it is a gorgeous jewelry box. For the other it is a beautiful pearl and diamond pendant. My newphew gets some unique cook books (he loves to bake, seriously).

So that will just be less property that I have to claim when I BK and it is not costing me a cent.

I will spend a few dollars on stocking stuffers for my Mom. She would tell me not to but she gives everyone serious stockings every year and I just like doing one for her.

I feel good about this Xmas. I have finally made the decision to BK and I feel like the mind struggle is over since I have surrendered. I am eerily calm. Don't get me wrong. I know there is a long road ahead of me but I am just glad to leave the one I've been on behind.

EP

[MomIcantFindmy]

I am eerily calm. Don't get me wrong. I know there is a long road ahead of me but I am just glad to leave the one I've been on behind.

EP

Epiphany,
I thought I was the only one. I know that this is serious but since we decided to file Feb 1st I have a HUGE sense of calmness and I can enjoy life again without stress.

Christmas is very relaxing for me this year. I truly stayed on a cash Christmas budget. It was the first time in 20+ years. My teens love Christmas, all the baked goods and corney lights and my singing (well maybe they don't love that, but they pretend). I am really excited for Christmas this year and I can't wait to see my girls faces. The gifts are small but I put a lot of thought into them and I know they will like them. For the first time in many years I can relax...........................

[epiphany]

MomIcantFindmy--your hokey tag line cracks me up. I think I may steal it for work.

Cheesy Christmas lights and clumsily decorated holiday baked goods are among the best things in life IMO.

I am glad you are calmly enjoying the Holidays. Sing loud and long. Your girls will always remember your vocal abilities, or lack thereof, fondly, even if they won't say so now.

Me, I can't sing (neighbors won't allow it) but I can pat my head and rub my belly at the same time.

Best of the season to you,

EP