His mother holds the key to us not filing.

[BrighterFuture]

So how do I convince my husband that I'm real glad he helped pay his mom's house off almost 10 years ago with an accident settlement, but that money he borrowed her (supposed to be paid back) needs to come NOW?

We are facing losing one our vehicles, eviction from our townhome, etc etc etc.

We have a young child.

That money would make all the money problems go away. And without money problems, our lives are virtually perfect. We only argue about money. We only get depressed about money. or rather, the lack there of.

If we could pay off the debts we owe, pay off our vehicles, we would be fine. We would be comfortable. We'd be at a place were we could have savings and probably vacation with our daughter once a year. Even more importantly, we could plan to add that second child to our family as we would like to do so badly but cannot because of finances.

I know it's his mom. I don't want to come across as this evil daughter in law. I LIKE my mother in law (minus this issue...)

But doesnt it come to a point that if you can make a TRUELY better life for your "new" family (wife & child)-a place to live, no BK, etc- that you do it? That he tell his mom, hey, instead of us finding ways to try and have a place to live at all, why dont you find a way to get us that money? (home equity loan, whatever).

It's not a massive amount, but absolutely life changing for us- about $20,000. So it's not as if it's her entire house value.

So....?

[325Falcon]

"That money would make all the money problems go away. And without money problems, our lives are virtually perfect. We only argue about money. We only get depressed about money. or rather, the lack there of.

If we could pay off the debts we owe, pay off our vehicles, we would be fine. We would be comfortable. We'd be at a place were we could have savings and probably vacation with our daughter once a year. Even more importantly, we could plan to add that second child to our family as we would like to do so badly but cannot because of finances."

You are asking alot of only $20K .

[HeatherB]

Unfortunately, this has to be pretty much entirely his decision. If I were in your shoes, I would worry that him asking his mom for the money would cause a rift between them and it could end up backfiring to make your husband end up resenting you for it. I know it sucks.

At least, if you bring this up to him, don't make it about the total amount. Just say something along the lines of "man, if your mom could pay us back just $2000 dollars we could save the (car/loan/etc). Then leave it at that for a while. If he gets the message, then you could try this again later down the road. I really doubt that his mom can just immediately come up with $20,000.

I really do feel for you. Were you and your husband together when he loaned his mom the money? If not, your DH may feel that it is none of your business. Even if you two were together, he may feel like since he was the one in the accident, then it is somehow his money to make choices with.

I think I'd fall over dead if my DH did that for his family. Then again, we don't make that much to begin with so $20,000 is like a gold mine to us. LOL

I hope you can figure out a way to approach him with this that doesn't end up in an arguement.

Good luck! Wishing you the best.

[SinkingFast]

HeatherB makes some valid points.

You could be in a loose/loose situation. Your husband could resent you for pushing for the money. You could resent your husband and MIL for not getting the money. MIL could be angry you and Hubby for having to come up with the money.

Sounds like Hubby may be living "Lah Lah Land" as far as your family finances go. Maybe you need to have a "Dose of Reality" meeting with Hubby. Gather all the bills, the checkbook, and sit down and have a chat about where you stand. Calmly and rationally. No fussing or fueding. Most especially no finger pointing.

It's no one person's fault that things are the way they are. You got into this situation together and you need to work together to turn things around.

[B12]

In agreement with Falcon. Seems like 20 grand would not really cover all that.

Did your hub grudgingly give mom the money or was he proud to help her?

If the latter, I would call it paid and forget about it.