Dealing with crisis/death

[Bandit]

Me too. That is exactly the way it was. The love was there but it was shown in different ways....scratch, fight, argue & of course elaborate Christmas & birthdays but the honeymoon was OVER- well, if it is true you lash out at the one you love, then that was my house. It is still like that.

How many people told me about my tense hugs...it felt like they were reaching in & trying to take my soul (& they were but not in a bad way). I told them that too

I was not used to it.

[jjim120]

Minny, I know exactly what you are describing. My life was much the same, but I don't think it was because my parents didn't love each other - I know they did. However, both grew up in the Great Depression in big families on hard-scrabble farms that put children to work as soon as they could do anything. Their parents' generation did not show affection, either. I believe that was the culture of the time, and those of us who grew up in rural families with little in the way of material goods and much work to be done simply carry the culture of that time with us.

I know that I feel deeply and have a great deal of compassion and caring for others, but hugging and touching are still too personal and uncomfortable for me as well.