holiday debt

[guzzie]

hello all....good eve.....trying to get the steeler game off my mind....arizona made us look stupid and we played lousy...oh well..
with the holidays comming up, just wandered how some of you are going to handle expenses this year....I will be buying fewer and less expensive gifts this christmas....will definitly be paying cash for them.....alot less stress though this year since being discharged.....I hope they will be happy times for all of us.....guzzie

[chpxiii]

I'll be setting a budget of $400 dollars for Christmas gifts and that is going to have to cover 6 people (adults). And I will be paying cash. Hell.. I've already spent some of it purchasing a gift early to ensure I got it on time. (It's and item that tends to be back ordered quickly.) I already know how I am going to spend it too..The boyfriend, however, may get a bit more. ;)

At anyrate, I honestly do not understand why people put themselves into debt just to try and make someone else happy. I don't get it.

[B12]

Yeaaaaaaaaa Bucs, almost a shut out.

[HeatherB]

Carp! I don't even want to think about Christmas. Luckily, my kids are both young enough that cheap toys are just as fun as fancy expensive ones. (at almost 4 and almost 1 year old). The thing that sucks is one child was born Dec 16th, the other, Jan 22nd. That and the fact that my husband works as a roofer and sometimes work slows down around the winter months. ARGH!

I'm thinking like the Bundy's. Wait til after Christmas, find a tree at the side of the road, then go to all the after Christmas specials for shopping. LOL Not really.

Christmas also is a sad time for me sometimes because it was my mom's favorite holiday. I just wish she could still be here to see her grandbabies. She wanted to SO badly. When she was sick she Begged for me to get pregnant. Now I'm sad

Basically, what we can afford with cash will be all we get. And have told family to not expect anything from us (they know we just filed and are saving to move).

[Flamingo]

hello all....good eve.....trying to get the steeler game off my mind....arizona made us look stupid and we played lousy...oh well..
with the holidays comming up, just wandered how some of you are going to handle expenses this year....I will be buying fewer and less expensive gifts this christmas....will definitly be paying cash for them.....alot less stress though this year since being discharged.....I hope they will be happy times for all of us.....guzzie

After going through a 5 year Chapter 13 and all the holidays during that period, your good friends and family who know what you just went through will not want anything from you. Some may get mad that you got them something. To those really close to you that you feel you really have to get something for, get real personal and meaningful - you can be creative doing this; design your own card and saying for the holiday and in that saying state why that person is special to you and enclose a small gift card or certificate to their favorite place; if they like coffee get a small Starbucks gift card or other favorite haunt of theirs; if they like the movies get movie tickets. You can give really nice, meaningful gifts and not go overboard. I would keep an eye out for special things like that all during our Plan years and if I had the extra cash at that moment would get an item and put it away. I never went overboard. It got to be fun after a while being creative with friends and family and not running out last minute as in the distant pass just buying anything to wrap and give as presents. It worked for us, it might work for you. Just set a budget and stick to it!

[Bandit]

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

[CindyLou]

I was talking to my cousin the other day and she was telling me how jealous she is of me because I live 3000 miles aways from home and never get to come home exactly on the holidays!!!!! Which means I always get out of buying gifts!!!! LUCKY ME!!!! Plus I don't have kids. My siblings and I agreed about 5 years ago to stop buying gifts for each other and my parents asked that we stop buying them gifts too.... My husband and I either go somewhere really nice for dinner and a short weekend trip...last year was vegas. But I usually can't go far at the Holiday because I've got to split call at work....bummer..... So I've widdled my Christmas shopping down to almost nothing. Call me a scrooge, but I think I'm likin it!!!!!!!!!

[$$only4ever]

I will just buy for my 2 sons and new daughter-in-law. DH and I have decided to pool what we would have spent on each other and probably buy something needed for the house.

[whatamess]

I have five siblings, five BIL's, my mother, two children, and 13 nieces and nephews... can you say AGHHH!!!????
I will be buying nothing for the adults and spending very little on the kids. I hope to get back to the whole point of the holiday this year.
My family gets mad if you dont buy gifts...the teens are very greedy and spoiled stinkers. Maybe I will buy 'em coal...lol....

The Phillies won the division...if anyone cares....
WAM

[lrprn]

This will be Christmas #3 for us without much cash for the holidays. However, after spending Christmas #1 in tears and hiding away in shame, thanks to friends and family, I realized that the holidays shouldn't be about the stuff you buy to give....it's really about the thought and being together to celebrate.

I turned over a new leaf for Christmas #2. I invited my two sisters and SIL over to make Xmas cookies together - we had a blast, got great cookie plates to give to neighbors and casual friends, and started a new Christmas family tradition!

I love photography so used an online super-coupon to make calendars for my sibs using my favorite photos - only cost me $5 each and they were beautiful!

I gave my friends with kids made-up coupon books with free babysitting and free pediatric RN advice tickets - they were a huge hit!

When the holidays were over last year, I realized that for the first time in years I didn't feel completely, overly stressed and we weren't way in the hole financially! Our family and friends LOVED the personal gifts. And I was relieved to finally not feel the need to be keeping up with the family members who were spending large sums but who we hardly saw most of the year.

I hope everyone here finds some peace within themselves this year by accepting that the holidays aren't about what you can buy....it's all about "sharing the caring" And with some imagination and a few days of effort, that can be accomplished for very little cash.

[chpxiii]

This will be Christmas #3 for us without much cash for the holidays. However, after spending Christmas #1 in tears and hiding away in shame, thanks to friends and family, I realized that the holidays shouldn't be about the stuff you buy to give....it's really about the thought and being together to celebrate.

YES! YES! YES!

I have cousins who have a ton of children. They do not make good money and are probably so far in debt I wouldn't be surprised they'd eventually file bankruptcy.

I was down visiting one year during Thanksgiving when I woke up SUPER EARLY to go with them for the Friday sales. (We were at the mall by 4:30 am, if that tells you anything.) I knew they didn't make much money and these two (who are sisters) have 5 kids between them. They also purchased for some of our younger cousins that year.

I flat out asked them where they get the money for all of this. Credit cards. It was insane. Not to mention, their kids are bratty enough that 1) they broke their toys within 10 minutes of opening them, and 2) abandonded the toys within 11 minutes of opening them.

My time in bankruptcy has COMPLETELY brought home "The Reason for the Season." Now, all I'll do is send out Christmas cards to relatives.

The 6 adults I'm getting anything for is really, for my mom (a gift cert to a grocery store), my boyfriend, and then his sister and BIL, and his parents.

I KEEP TELLING HIM that he should insist on not participating if he REALLY DOES NOT want to get caught up in "gift giving." He's usually grouchy that time of year. Oi.

I told him let's not give to each other. But hell, even for my birthday I insisted on him not getting me anything and what does he do? Announce to me last week that he picked up my gift. bleh.

At anyrate, he told me that one year he tried to stop the gift grabbing with his family. He told them to take the money they would have spent on him and pay off their debts and that he wasn't going to get them anything. Well, they still bought him gifts and were offended that he didn't get them anything. So really ... he just doesn't want to deal with it.

My response to him was, "So? Let them be offended. That's not your problem." He did tell me he'd rather buy them something rather than hear them ***** all year long about how he didn't give them anything for Christmas. Maybe he's just buying their silence on this. hehe

You know, now that I'm typing this out, I'm thinking that maybe *I* should start. I don't even give my own *family* gifts (but then they're Mexicans and Catholic and I have 40 cousins and 8 aunts and uncles and my cousins have kids of THEIR own - so that would be TOO MANY gifts, I'd have to go bankrupt every year! hehehe...) so why should I buy *his* family gifts? I'm really just trying to be "the good girlfriend." If HE wants to play their game and hate it, he can do it up.

But in all honesty, I'llprobably just get them a gift. My boyfriend's mother has been wonderful to me several times when I've needed help. So I play along ...

[HeatherB]

what would you do

I totally understand that holidays are about the company and family, etc. Here's the problem I have. I don't really have alot of immediate family. Because I am a military brat, most of my family is scattered about (from one coast to the next) I have "inherited" family - meaning my brother's wife has a huge family that I am vey close with a few of them. Holidays are great when I get to spend time with everyone (which I see all the time thru-out the year). The only problem is that usually at these big family functions all the extended family come to dinner, too. So, picture about 30 plus people all there. Dinner is great, but when it's time for the kids to open up presents.... all my cousin's kids get gobs and gobs of them (from grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc that all fly in for the holidays.). It turns out to be like my children are only getting 5-10 presents while the others have 30-40. While this doesn't offend me in the least, I worry that it bothers my kids. Their presents are opened and we just sit there waiting for the oodles and oodles of other children's presents to be opened.

I feel bad but I do not want to go over to their house for this reason. I kid you not when I say that last year, half of their livingroom (which is a 15X15 livingroom) was filled with presents stacked up to about 5 ft tall. And that was not even all the presents as they went downstairs after dinner to continue opening up other presents.

[chpxiii]

HeatherB, you just described the situation I grew up in. I'm an only child, but I'd spend Christmas at Grandma's. She had NINE children. A few of which had like 6 or 7 kids, and others 5 or less. Hence why I have FORTY cousins. eesh! We'd have oodles of presents too. Now imagine many of them as parents. Talk about multiplying like bunnies! This is why I only send cards to aunts and uncles and 1st cousins. I'm not going to get caught up in buying every little one a gift.

As for your children, I can certainly relate. My mom, again, 3rd of 9 children, didn't make much money. Even though I am an "only" I didn't get new clothes or even new school supplies every year. I had to make do with what we had. And it got worse as I got older...every year I'd see my cousins (even the ones in large families) get new clothes, supplies, no hand me downs, etc. etc. And every single one of my aunts and uncles along with cousins would tell *me* "Well, you don't have to share your toys, you're spoiled!" Huh? When I was a wee kid I *sort* of understood, but it doesn't necessarily mean I liked it. As an adult, now, I'm over it.

[gamom02]

We put an end to our problem last Christmas. I emailed all concerned in our family and asked how they all felt about exchanging gifts. I just told everyone that it was getting harder every year to buy for everyone, not only the expence of it all but as our kids got older it was more expensive to get decent gifts and to try to figure out what to get everyone. We used to draw names adults draw adults and kids draw kids, this worked for a while, but some only had two kids some had four. Everyone agreed to not buy gifts anymore and just focus on our immediate familys. We just bought for our parents.
We decided to meet at an inexpensive restuarant, and whoever showed up would pay for their own families. About half showed up and it was nice not to have to cook and clean up afterward. It was less stress trying to pay for Christmas. I just made sure I had layaways at Walmart. Can't do that now though since they no longer do layaways.

I have started to buy for my sons already as I see things on sale or clearance. Its just a matter of prioritizing for us now, not trying to please everyone.
We know we have to live and pay bills after Christmas if over with.
Good luck with whatever works for you.

[arizonalover]

handmade gifts

I do jewelry design and I can make any females on my list a piece of jewelry. Since I moved here to Arizona I now have a larger family to think of actually. My oldest sister and her sons and their wives and kids are out here and I never exchanged with them but luckily for me all the kids are girls Cheap gift baskets can be made - wicker can be found at alot of trhift stores for 25 cents each and then fill them with handmade stuff.

Ugh I dont even want to think about Xmas when its still 100 degrees out but I have already started on my jewelry designs

HeatherB - how sad for the kids - hopefully they are secure enough with lots of love that they know the difference. I know for my grandkids we used to buy three or four things each and I finally just had to cut it down to one large one for each. But with 4 daughters, 8 grandkids, and 4 great grandkids it is still expensive. Honestly I know the one year I couldnt afford anything for anyone the kids didnt even miss one more "thing" and of course the adults more than understood and we just didnt exchange at all. Their spouses come first and that was it