Demons from the pit of Hell....

[tinroofrusted]

Anyone else have family members that are irrational, unreasonable, and just downright hateful?!

My sister has taken it upon herself in the past 24 hours to ruin the holiday season for my whole family over a very minor miscommunication issue.... and I have never in my life wanted to strangle someone so badly.

What is it with some people? They just can't stand to see others happy and having a good time with life, can they?

How sad......

[Minnymouth]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sibling rivalry is alive and well and since you both have red-hair I'd say its a battle of the wits with you and your sister.......

Count yu blessings that you have a sister living that you can argue with..... I never knew my twin.

THERE IS NOTHING that can't be settled if you both want it to be...... NOTHING.

During the holidays more familys argue and disagree than anytime of the year..... Spouses are at each other's throats on HOW AND WHERE they are going to spend the holidays.

Kids from split homes leave and spend holidays with the "other parent"..... thus leaving the custody parent alone for the holidays......

Holidays can be very STRESSFULL for all parties involved.

Also you sister may be feeling "leftout" these days, you having a new life, new husband, new job, etc.......

Patience is a virture........ and you are supposed to be the older wiser one.....

I would say in your family when two redheaded minds collide, there is LOTS OF FRICTION.......but nothing that can't be resolved.......

Call her, and talk it out.............you only have one family........

Minny

[SinkingFast]

Funerals are a problem for my family. THE time when the family should pull together to share the grief of the loss of a loved one. Does not happen in my family.

Something always happens. There's an arguement. With rifts lasting for many, many years in some cases.

When my Grandfather died, 2 of my Uncles had an arguement. The one Uncle would not step foot on the other's property for over 20 years. Unreal.

[jane taylor]

My family definitely put the FUN back in dysfunctional! My kids mentioned this weekend that they never get to see their cousins (actually my cousins to whom I was very close growing up) and their kids. Since we split holidays with my parents and husband's parents who are divorced there is little time for other family. My dad refuses to speak to one of my cousins much less set foot on his property. The "feud" started after one of my family members' horrible death from cancer several years ago.

Then there's my mom who loves to be the martyr and thinks she has to do everything and then complains when no one helps her! And we always hear the "we can't buy fancy gifts, but we do try to get things you need, etc., ad nauseam speech every year!

No wonder people imbibe more during the holidays

Hang in there, Tin. You have been through so many changes both good and bad and too many can really take their toll on a person.

[AMISLANDER]

My mom...

...hates the holidays because my father got sick during Xmas and died a few days after New Years and it's always been hard on me. She feels I don't care but I do.

Due to her antics/aging/dementia & related problems, it's getting harder and harder to make her happy no matter what I'm doing.

This is going to be an especially hard holiday season...I can just feel it.

[Minnymouth]

It's extremely hard on everyone when a family member or relative dies during the holidays...... its constantly on your mind when the holidays approach.....

A young relative of mine (girl) got killed on Christmas Eve many years ago, leaving behind a new baby, husband, and a little boy. Those children are grown now and have kids of their own.

Every year after the accident at Christmas time their daddy would get out a "special box" calleds "Momma's Box". In this box was little treasures that belonged to the childrens mother. In it was her Christmas stocking, photos of the children when they were babies, her wedding picture, pictures of her as a child, and many of her favorite decorations. Each year, the daddy setup a small tree on a table in the family room. On and around this tree was hung the pictures, and decorations. Reminders to two children (one who never knew her mother) that we are never to forget your Momma.

The daughter who is grown now and is the image of her mother still carries on this tradition in her own home. She says it makes her closer to the mother she never knew, but looks like. Her dad spent their childhood telling them about their mother, stories of places they went, things they did together, and answered all the questions they ever had about her.

She often says, I didn't know my mom personally, but I know soooooo much about her thanks to Dad... and she is so proud that she looks like her too.

Loosing a loved one during a holiday can be devastating, but it can also bring peace to all if its handled right.

Holidays are time of blessings, and being thankfull, a time to remember all loved ones, even those that have departed from us.

As I decorate my home for the holidays and I set out my decorations and trim my tree, I also put mom's favorite ornaments on the tree and think to myself "wish you were here to share this with me"............

Yes, the holidays can be hard on us also...... but it also can be rewarding, fun for the children, and full of good memories of days gone past....

[Minnymouth]

AIMSLANDER,

Try something with your mom this year........ during the holidays if your sitting around with your mom ask her this "Mom, tell me how you and dad met, what made you fall in love with him?" Often talking about the one that has passed on makes it easier for everyone...... Ask her to tell you about the Holidays they had before you were born and when you were a baby.....
You'll learn a lot about your folks, and talking about your dad will make him feel closer to her and you during the holidays.

Maybe this will bring peace to her and you during the holidays, especially if this is the first holiday without him. They are always the hardest.

And yes your mom is getting older, and she see's and feels that "time" and "life" is slipping away on her. You will see a lot of changes in her as time goes by. Sometimes it makes us resentful, sometimes we age gracefully and count our blessings.

[robivi3]

My brother-in-law, a bitter, hateful person.

[lrprn]

A young relative of mine (girl) got killed on Christmas Eve many years ago, leaving behind a new baby, husband, and a little boy. Every year after the accident at Christmas time their daddy would get out a "special box" calleds "Momma's Box".

Minny, thank you for sharing this story! These children were so lucky to have a dad that helped them turn total tragedy and sadness into something that both honored their mother's memory and gave the family a way to remember happy memories of her together. What a special man he must be!

Our family has much less holiday drama and stress now that both of my parents have passed away. They divorced when I was in my early 20s - they hardly spoke to each other for years afterwards. Holidays were always a contest between the two of them about who had the kids at their house the longest, who bought them the best presents, a yearly rehash of all the sins each accused the other of....groan!! Now my four siblings and all our families get together at one of our houses every year on Christmas Eve. We have a great time with many fun traditions (cookie exchange, white elephant exchange, cooking dinner together, game playing, etc.) We treasure the time we have together - it's precious, and we know it won't last forever.

So Tin, back to your original question about trouble-making family members.... During those years when just dragging myself, my husband, and our kids to each parent's house every year was like Chinese water torture, I'm still glad we made the best of the times we did have together. The family won't be around forever. Is whatever is going on with your sis really "a hill to die on"? My advice....take the high road. If another family member tries to escalate it into something bigger than it really is, defuse the situation by making light of it or just change the subject. Time is too short to waste on sweating the small stuff.

[tinroofrusted]

So Tin, back to your original question about trouble-making family members.... During those years when just dragging myself, my husband, and our kids to each parent's house every year was like Chinese water torture, I'm still glad we made the best of the times we did have together. The family won't be around forever. Is whatever is going on with your sis really "a hill to die on"? My advice....take the high road. If another family member tries to escalate it into something bigger than it really is, defuse the situation by making light of it or just change the subject. Time is too short to waste on sweating the small stuff.

Oh, I totally agree! I just know that this might be a few member's last Christmas or two with us, and I want it to be memorable. Not a drag down cat fight from an immature idiot because she didn't understand the jist of a conversation she shouldn't have been a part of in the first place.

[CAB_44]

Oh, I totally agree! I just know that this might be a few member's last Christmas or two with us, and I want it to be memorable. Not a drag down cat fight from an immature idiot because she didn't understand the jist of a conversation she shouldn't have been a part of in the first place.

woo boy~ do I know THAT one!!!!! "jist of a conversation they shouldn't have been a part of"....
that describes my BROTHER-IN-LAW~ sisters spouse....he took something WAY out of context (4yrs ago) that wasn't his business anyway...went home and told my sister a lie on top of it....then she comes down on me for saying something that I DIDN"T say~ or write...email it was an email...innocent email....how he got that out of it I STILL will never know.....but she has been ticked at me for over 4yrs now...Even though our Mother is not well, she refuses to come around to her and she sure won't talk with me~ My dad is deceased, and I have a brother in another state....not close to him either, but the sad thing is, when mother goes (which will probably be soon) I feel I will have no one... oh well~ I thank God that I have my own family, and we are close~ we have our moments, but we are blood strong!!! Not a whole lot gets to the core of our relationships......~

[Credit Hater]

I have an older half brother who is pretty much "non-bro" to me. I hate to put it like that but it is what it is. He stole money and items from me while I was 15-16 and working my butt off for every penny that I earned. So I completely understand where you're coming from Tin.

[Beedlebrow]

My sister has taken it upon herself in the past 24 hours to ruin the holiday season

Ah yes, the traditional Christmas Negativity Scene.
My wife's Aunt would do this every year.
Talk about a Grinch.

[CindyLou]

well, my family will just be happy if my brother and cousin can show up sober!! both have been in rehab recently and we spent last holidays wondering if they were going to fall asleep in their food!!!! Families! What would we do without them!!

[9877donna]

I would certainly be happy to get away from mine....

well, my family will just be happy if my brother and cousin can show up sober!! both have been in rehab recently and we spent last holidays wondering if they were going to fall asleep in their food!!!! Families! What would we do without them!!

It wouldn't break my heart if I left and never saw my family again.But obligations keep me from leaving and breaking all ties with them.
Sad but true.
Donna