Hello 👋 new member

[NewLeafNoah]

Hi All,

I just found this community. I’m grateful for the additional knowledge and support. I am planning to file a Chapter 7 in the next few weeks. Here is my story in a nutshell:

I had excellent credit all my life and was never in material debt. Got married in 2017, had our first child in 2018. My wife stayed home to take care of our son so I was the sole income as a realtor. First got behind on back taxes. 100% my fault and became a bad habit that compounded. Come 2021, my wife got pregnant with twins. Early in the pregnancy, we found out there were health complaints.
Half way through we knew our twin daughter had a serious health issue. 6 weeks before my wife’s due date Kaiser said our daughter wouldn’t survive birth. My wife had found a forum of parents with kids who had the same condition. Through this forum she became aware of a medical team in ST Petersburg Florida that specialized in our daughters condition. We did a phone consult and they gave our daughter 90% chance of survival. 1 week later my wife was on a plane to Florida. A week after my 2 year old son (at that time) and I flew to FL. I took out a significant unsecured loan before we left because I wanted to make sure our family had enough liquidity to get through this phase. Again, as a realtor my income is variable so it was hard to know how much I would make that year.

The babies were born in APR 2021. They survived birth, our son was in the ICU for 10 days and our daughter was in the specialized unit for 3 months. It was an incredibly stressful time but we were grateful we made the decision to move. Month 4 we went back home to California. For the next two years, our daughter was in the hospital 7 times for over 100 day’s cumulatively. Ever time she got sick she would need to get intubated and this process would usually take 2-4 weeks for her to recover. I would stay with her at the hospital while my wife stayed home with our two boys.

My work was as a realtor so it was tricky to manage but I continued to find ways to support my clients and keep the income coming in. This time was unimaginably stressful. We had new born twins, a 3 year old son and our daughter had serious medical issues. She had so many doctors appointments and needed high needs care around the clock. I did my best to juggle my business and also helping my wife with the kids but it was impossible to handle everything. Credit card debt started adding up. By the end of 2022 we were severely in debt, had major medical expenses and were financially broke. In April of 2023 our daughter passed away. It was crushing for the whole family.

we have stayed together and kept moving forward. We moved from SoCal to NorCal this past November for a fresh start. I now have a w2 position still in real estate but I am rebuilding my clientele and also recovering from years of chronic stress. I she over $150k in unsecured debt and multiple years of back taxes. I feel like the path forward with this level of debt is impossible.

I have worked through most of the Shane and stigma around bankruptcy but now I need to handle the practical logistics. I need to make sure we have enough money to get through the next month or two for rent and food, bills, etc while we file and also pay the attorney. My wife thinks it’s a distraction to file bankruptcy but she can’t seem to understand the burden that I carry psychologically. The future feels heavy and dark unless I can get a fresh start.

Thanks for reading my story. I am looking forward to brighter and lighter days ahead.

[Zombie13]

Hey there, I am sorry to hear about the passing of your daughter.
Couple things: when you do talk with the attorney, be sure to discuss the options: Chapter 7, or Chapter 13. There are a few extremely knowledgeable folks on here that can offer solid advice based on their experiences. We finished our chapter 13 two years ago.
While it may feel like shame to file for bankruptcy, remember - it is a legal tool available for use.
Since you are a W2 employee, check to see if you have legal benefits available. Where I have worked, I have had to elect the benefit. It certainly came in handy when we filed.
As for paying the bills and the attorney: you probably need to stop paying the creditors in order to have the funds to pay for food, housing, and the attorney.
Are you renting, or do you own a home?
Do you have car loans, or are they paid off? It is recommended to get a replacement vehicle before filing. We did not and regretted it. Fortunately the vehicles made it through the bankruptcy but barely - we tried to trade in one car and they wouldn't take it, since it was in such poor shape LOL! I had to drive it to a junk dealer and they offered me something like $250 hahaha! omg...
Prior to filing you will need to fill out the Schedule I and J forms to determine your income, expenses, and 'discretionary income'. There is a means test which is used to determine your eligibility to file either chapter 13 or chapter 7. If Chapter 13 is a *survivable* option, then the discretionary income is what the trustee will take as a monthly payment. Therefore: make sure you have all of your monthly debts, medical expenses, etc. clearly identified and well documented, since you and your attorney will need to negotiate for every penny if you qualify for chapter 13 (in the eyes of the trustee), and if you are not able to file for chapter 7 instead. I may be off base about this, but I am confident the experts on here will steer you in the right direction. I am just talking from our personal experience.
I do not see filing bankruptcy as a distraction (unless you actually have the means to pay off the debt, which it sounds like you do not). Rather, dealing with this current financial burden appears to be a significant distraction and an immense, tremendous psychological load. This is not good for your mental, emotional, and physical health.
Edit: while it is stressful, I suggest, for your benefit - try to take the emotion out of it. Yeah this is a pain, and it's frustrating. But, you need to be clear headed and look at this the way the trustee and creditors do: it's numbers, and it's money in the bank: yours, or theirs; that's it.
You can do this.

[BxRcvor]

Welcome from Tampa Bay, FL!