How to say Your Unemployed

[Fallonedward]

We filed BK7 in November of this year and now we are attending numerous family events and gatherings and evertime someone shakes my hubbys hand and says "So who do you work for and what do you do" Hubby is like a deer in the headlights and sputters out I left xyz company in March and I'm looking for something else.


I feel there must be something better this man can say

Does anyone have any suggestions???? Thanks

[platter]

Well, he told the truth, right? And if he says he's looking for something else, there might just be a good contact in the room that can give him a lead on another job. (Use it as networking if he's looking for a job.)

If someone is prodding too much and he'd prefer to not explain, then just think of a simple answer as to why he left the job. I mean there's people that have had over 200-500 resumes sent out and they're still unemployed. It's a state of this economy.

And if he wants to be unemployed right now, I see it as his personal business. Don't be ashamed.

[Fallonedward]

Hubby does not want to be unemployed, he is just very embarrassed by it. He was a top manager with a fighting spirit and this unemployment has made him lose all of his self confidence and I'm terrified that this will harbour him from locating another opportunity.

Well, he told the truth, right? And if he says he's looking for something else, there might just be a good contact in the room that can give him a lead on another job. (Use it as networking if he's looking for a job.)

If someone is prodding too much and he'd prefer to not explain, then just think of a simple answer as to why he left the job. I mean there's people that have had over 200-500 resumes sent out and they're still unemployed. It's a state of this economy.

And if he wants to be unemployed right now, I see it as his personal business. Don't be ashamed.

[Peeps]

He can always say he's being very selective about the companies he chooses. Fit and culture are important to him and he's not interested in settling for any old company. He wants to be part of an organization that has projects that will challenge him because he learned at the previous company how quickly things could become mundane/unrewarding when he didn't have high-level, cross-functional, and challenging projects. If it takes longer to find the right position, then that is worth it to him.

[tobee43]

We filed BK7 in November of this year and now we are attending numerous family events and gatherings and evertime someone shakes my hubbys hand and says "So who do you work for and what do you do" Hubby is like a deer in the headlights and sputters out I left xyz company in March and I'm looking for something else.


I feel there must be something better this man can say

Does anyone have any suggestions???? Thanks

ahhhhhhhhhhh........yes, i do....

we did well with the falling markets and have decided to temporarily retire..... that always turns a few heads.....seriously though...and....

actually.....my husbands says he's on spring break...or some funny answer just to hold people off...especially since our chances of him finding work again is about zero percent.

[Fallonedward]

I love this statement, thanks so much

He can always say he's being very selective about the companies he chooses. Fit and culture are important to him and he's not interested in settling for any old company. He wants to be part of an organization that has projects that will challenge him because he learned at the previous company how quickly things could become mundane/unrewarding when he didn't have high-level, cross-functional, and challenging projects. If it takes longer to find the right position, then that is worth it to him.

[platter]

Please stress upon him that many others have lost their jobs as well which, of course, he already knows and that's not very consoling when one is dealing with their own loss of confidence. But he can't blame his confidence, must blame this economy!!

I've been thinking that there should be some support groups that meet, geez, in this economy there's many that could benefit by sitting and talking with others.

[tobee43]

i find really for a "man" unfortunately many of them feel they ARE what THEY do....so it's more psychologically difficult for them to deal with the situation...they are more prone to becoming depressed....when normally they are solid as rocks...it's a really difficult time for them when they lose their jobs.

we had to go to the doctor...i was not only married to a rock...but a mountain range...and losing his job was by far the worse thing HE THOUGHT happened to him in his entire life....it's really hard for them.

that's why we use "humor"...it's the best medicine and really and actually...think about it, it's really NO ONE's business...is it....??? it's soooooooooo 80's to ask and what do you do...the next question may be and how much money do you make...this is NOT the dating scene and really i just can't believe the nerve of people...

actually, and honestly, IF it does bother him that much i would just answer the question with what he actually did for a living...i.e. plumber, banker, policeman...etc. no need for a long drawn out answer as far as i'm concerned.

fallon, i so feel for him and know it's hard really!

[Ifonly]

I agree that humor is sometimes the best way - plus it throws people off. I like to say I retired involuntarily. When people ask if we still live in XXXX, PA, I say, "no, Bank of America lives there now." They usually crack up and then I just move the conversation along.

[tobee43]

I agree that humor is sometimes the best way - plus it throws people off. I like to say I retired involuntarily. When people ask if we still live in XXXX, PA, I say, "no, Bank of America lives there now." They usually crack up and then I just move the conversation along.

LOL!!!!!!!!! no B of A lives there now...........LOVE that one!!!!!!!

[Fallonedward]

That has been the problem, he has always been in upper finance management positions and has always been a ROCK. Very confident and very secure in his knowledge.

Now he is acting so weird. Thanking me every day for staying married to him, it so sad.

Today he said to me that all he ever had in the world was his Career, God Family and Home and now he feels he has lost everything. The man is so depressed, don't know what to do

[Ifonly]

I'm sorry, :-( I really, really feel for him. As a former Controller/CFO/Sr. Finance type person, I understand very intimately how this job market has changed. Employers don't want to pay for folks like us any longer. I felt like a piece of my identity was stolen from me when I lost my job. And it IS easier on me as I'm a woman and can focus my energies on our children, etc. It is not a stereotype to say that it is harder for a man - there is an intrinsic, genetic component of men that still responds to the age old requirement of being the "provider".

Is there any chance he can start doing some consulting or tax work and possibly build it into a business? Finance, accounting is one of the wonderful skills that you can try to develop into your own meal ticket without a HUGE capital investment - a computer, some business cards and some advertising. Just having a meeting or brain storming session with a potential client could make him feel like he's utilizing his knowledge again. But if he's on UI be careful, some states will cut you off if you so much as print a business card without earning a dime.

[oregonpilot]

I agree that humor is sometimes the best way - plus it throws people off. I like to say I retired involuntarily. When people ask if we still live in XXXX, PA, I say, "no, Bank of America lives there now." They usually crack up and then I just move the conversation along.

Ifonly...that is so great.
"Life is too important to be taken sooo dang serious"

[tobee43]

it sure is.

it's too short...now that i live in florida life is also too cold...and frankly....i would just laugh myself to death as oppose to worry to death...

[keepsmiling]

We are fortunate to have a local agency sponsoring a FREE Jobseekers Group. Perhaps you have one as well, call around. It's been a great blessing for many. The key emphasis, over and over, is about Networking, getting on Linked In, Working a Room, you get it. When your dh can get to the point that he can see every one of those questions as a Networking Op, he'll start to feel much better about being out there. It's a mindset change. You just never know... I've already linked a few people up this way, and just received a nice thank you from one who landed (in the form of a gift card, lol, pointing to other current discussion)