Sad story of a fool

[BKman]

Here is the crime I did against my family.......In 2003 I said "real estate sounds like a good career for me". I was working 45 hours @ $17.00 per hour in construction. In 2005 I went in to real estate full time. I did ok nothing great. 2006 sucked, and 2007 didn't get much better so I went back in to construction. Mid 2008 I lost my job and had to go back to real estate. I found that almost every company didn't want to hire someone with real estate as a past. 2008 I didn't close 1 deal. My son was born in 2008 and we tried day care and didn't like the cost or the care so I started to watch my son (wife's job covers insurance). Got my first deal of 2009 in May nothing again until July. Wife had to cash out some free company stock to cover the bills in Sept. Still couldn't find work. Nov got another deal. I knew we were going down so I went for bankruptcy. The 6 month income look back had her stock cash out so that put us over the limit by $169 for chapter 7($110,000 unsecured debt).
Now for some reason I got 3 deals in December. I think someone hates me! The way real estate is it can take 30 to 45 days to get paid. Not counting the time to find the property. I have no one looking to do anything right now so Jan is no income and Feb is a maybe if I got lucky.

So I'm doing the 13 now and in July if my income is still crap I will try again for the 7. My wife is to the point of not talking to me because of this mess. I'm trying to fix it without pulling her down but I think at this point she doesn't care anymore. Anyways, thats my sad story.

[keepmine]

Why the rush to file right now?

[AngelinaCatHub]

M O N E Y is the number one cause for divorce. I am sorry and you should be concerned about wife's feelings. This is not good. If she has eyes, she certainly should understand we are in a severe recession/depression.

Don't believe the Liberal press that we are coming out of it. The rush to unemployment is up again this month. 'Hub

[frogger]

Don't believe the Liberal press that we are coming out of it. 'Hub

My aren't we the cheery one today 'Hub. I believe everything that the press tells me......

[jdcat]

It's sad that finances have such a huge impact on marriage, but at the same time I understand the need for stability where a family is concerned and changing jobs doesn't always turn out for the best. My husband would love to work for the DNR but the pay would not support our family so he's stuck doing something he doesn't hate but doesn't love either. It sucks that money has such control over our lives.

As far as marriage and finances go though I do believe that hard times are to be expected when raising a family and placing blame on each other for things that are beyond our control just makes the hard times that much harder. It's no problem feeling all close and lovey when times are good/easy. It's the hard times that really separates the wheat from the chafe as far as love goes.

I hope one day you and your wife can look back on this and be proud of the fact that you pulled through it together.

[OhioFiler]

My aren't we the cheery one today 'Hub. I believe everything that the press tells me......

That is the purpose of the press! To provide unbiased news for us to reach our own conclusions on. It's been this way forever!

[Mi Bankruptcy]

M O N E Y is the number one cause for divorce. I am sorry and you should be concerned about wife's feelings. This is not good. If she has eyes, she certainly should understand we are in a severe recession/depression.

Don't believe the Liberal press that we are coming out of it. The rush to unemployment is up again this month. 'Hub

Michigan's unemployment went down to 14.7.. down from 15.1.. Of course, I didn't need the news or papers to tell me this since my job monitors employers hiring.

[BKman]

Three reasons:

1) Didn't make Novembers CC payments and the calls have started. The stress from the calls, watching my son, trying to earn money, and the wife not talking to me is to much.

2) My income in December put us even more over the 6 month look back limit.

3) My attorney says that for the community discharge to protect her we have to live in this state until discharged. 5 more years in this place will kill us (our marriage). Her only family is moving out of the area in January. I want to start the 13 now to stop the calls. I want to try for the 7 again in 6 months so maybe by next October I can get discharged and we can try and move near her family. Maybe by then I can sell our house. It's upside down by $130K but we have not missed any payments.

[OhioFiler]

Three reasons:

1) Didn't make Novembers CC payments and the calls have started. The stress from the calls, watching my son, trying to earn money, and the wife not talking to me is to much.

2) My income in December put us even more over the 6 month look back limit.

3) My attorney says that for the community discharge to protect her we have to live in this state until discharged. 5 more years in this place will kill us (our marriage). Her only family is moving out of the area in January. I want to start the 13 now to stop the calls. I want to try for the 7 again in 6 months so maybe by next October I can get discharged and we can try and move near her family. Maybe by then I can sell our house. It's upside down by $130K but we have not missed any payments.

I think you need to slow down. Now is the time to begin your bankruptcy planning, not file. You have plenty of time before the collectors get nasty. In the meantime, turn off the phone or have some fun with the collectors.

Sounds like many of your problems are exclusive to your financial situation. I hope things work out for you.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

Tell them you are filing bankruptcy and give them your attorney's information. Don't tell them which chapter your filing or anything. If they ask just tell them that your attorney can answer their question. Don't ignore them.. They will start calling your family members and then your wife will be really pissed... This will hold em off for awhile.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

BTW.. I quit paying July 08 and didn't file until Nov 08. Answered all my calls and read from a script I created. They stopped bugging me.

[BKman]

I did that and AMEX already sent me to collections. Everything I have read seems to point to getting the chapter 13 now because what if my income stays above the limit for my state and I can't go 7 in 6 months? I would have then at least started my 60 month payment plan. I just don't want to burn up time and take even longer to get out of this mess. I did want to have more children at some point and would like to be a better example to my family.

[OhioFiler]

I did that and AMEX already sent me to collections. Everything I have read seems to point to getting the chapter 13 now because what if my income stays above the limit for my state and I can't go 7 in 6 months? I would have then at least started my 60 month payment plan. I just don't want to burn up time and take even longer to get out of this mess. I did want to have more children at some point and would like to be a better example to my family.

This phrase indicates to me you are not thinking clearly here. You really need take the "KICK ME" sign off your back. The situation is what it is. Put together a plan that will allow you to correct the problems. Worrying about the example you're setting for your future children doesn't help.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

I did that and AMEX already sent me to collections. Everything I have read seems to point to getting the chapter 13 now because what if my income stays above the limit for my state and I can't go 7 in 6 months? I would have then at least started my 60 month payment plan. I just don't want to burn up time and take even longer to get out of this mess. I did want to have more children at some point and would like to be a better example to my family.

I hear you and have three kids and one on the way. You are starting to do the right things so don't be too hard on yourself. You just need to figure out which will be the best method and you definitely found the right place to figure that out. On that note.. everything I read about a Ch13 will continue to add stress between you and your wife. Start by trying to stop the calls.. Who cares if it goes to collection you are either going to file CH13 or CH7. Once you file they can't touch you. Just don't charge anymore. I would try to let it play out as long as possible before you file. You may be able to get away with it for 6 months.

[BKman]

So you don't think its better to start now incase later I still don't meet the income limits for a chapter 7? My attorney said that all that is required to change to a chapter 7 is the income. I/we need to be at $5588 or less and we were at $5865 because of a stock cash out in Sept. My income in December puts me higher so that is why the wait until July.


AMEX closed in 3/09 $39K
Chase closed in 1/09 $15K
Chase closed in 1/09 $16K
Chase closed in 1/09 $8K
Citi closed in 11/09 $11K
Citi last used in 10/09 $16K
Bank reserve line $3900
GRAND TOTAL $109K