The Cost of Death in America

[SinkingFast]

Last Monday night, July 10th, my Sister-In-Law died. She was 55 years old.

She was diagnosed as a diabetic way back in her mid teens. She and my brother married when she was 19 years old. Her diabetes has been a battle all her life. Diabetes caused problems for her thru both of her pregnancies. Then she had to have eye surgery. Something to do with the blood vessels in her retinas. Then her kidneys failed. She was on dialysis for about a year when she miraculously got a kidney transplant. Then the anti-rejection medication wreaked havok on her body.

Nearly 5 months ago, SIL did not wake up one morning. She was in a diabetic coma. Brother called Emergency Medical Services. They put her on a glucose IV and got her to come around. The paramedics decided to take her to the hospital to get her blood sugar regulated. When they celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary, SIL was in the hospital.

Problems with her heart, pneumonia, and other respiratory issues sent SIL to the ICU several times. Then she developed blood clots to her kidneys and legs. A vascular surgeon tried angioplasty to open the clots and put in a stints, but SIL never got circulation back in one leg. They finally decided to amputate the leg. That was Fri, July 7.

Over the weekend, everything seemed to improve. On Monday afternoon, July 10th, all her blood work and such looked very good. Everyone thought she'd turned the corner toward recovery. Then, Monday night, SIL suffered a total systems shut down. The doctors were not able to revive her.

My brother, their children, and several of his In-Laws planned a very modest, "traditional" funeral. One day of visitation at the Funeral Home, Funeral in the Funeral Home Chapel the next day, followed by procession to the cemetary for a simple graveside service.

Brother picked the cheapest things. Cheapest casket. A cloth covered box. Cheapest water proof vault. Family paid for the casket floral spray, and SIL's burial plot, and the Interment Fee.

Brother's bill for the funeral ran over $7,900. Add in the costs for the flowers and the cemetary, the total bill came to nearly $10,000.

I know we're here for BK, but my brother and his wife had no plans for what to do if one of them died.

Brother and SIL bought $10K of life insurance each this past January. Brother got a letter yesterday from the insurance company. Because they had not had their policies in effect for 2 years prior to SIL's death, the insurance company wants 10, yes that's TEN, years of medical records. Brother, Sister, and I are all worried that the insurance company will find a way to get out of paying. If that happens, Brother has no way to pay for the Funeral bill.

Please take a moment to think about what you'd like for your family to do in rememberance of you.

How our families handle our death is a financial decision as well as a loss of a loved one.

Make sure you have sufficient life insurance to protect your family in the event the unthinkable happens.

Be prepared.

[scammer]

Brother and SIL bought $10K of life insurance each this past January. Brother got a letter yesterday from the insurance company. Because they had not had their policies in effect for 2 years prior to SIL's death, the insurance company wants 10, yes that's TEN, years of medical records. Brother, Sister, and I are all worried that the insurance company will find a way to get out of paying. If that happens, Brother has no way to pay for the Funeral bill.

Please take a moment to think about what you'd like for your family to do in rememberance of you.

How our families handle our death is a financial decision as well as a loss of a loved one.

Make sure you have sufficient life insurance to protect your family in the event the unthinkable happens.

Be prepared.

This is tender subject as this just happened, but people this is what a Financial Planner (ME) does for a living. Every client of mine, with less than $100,000 networth, having a wife and/or children has a simple term life insurance policy purchased from any old source, I don't care. I sell it but it is best to go to your property insurer.

If you want a easy insurance deal, a bunch of Credit unions offer $5,000 life insurance free for keeping a little cash in there C.U.. Hassle in my eyes.....

The cost? about $250 per year, for $100,000 ten year term. Money is the last thing to worry about on the death of a loved one.

Sinkingfast they are attempting to see if a pre-existing condition was not disclosed, and disqualify it. Reputable Insurance companies don't pull that crap, unless it is a higher dollar policy. Who is insurer?

Sinkingfast, the other thing I wanted to throw out is, those children need to be protected, now that a single parent situation exists, I hope brother is going to jump his insurance up at least until they turn 21. Oops I just read, your sil was 55, kids are adults??

[bkbiker]

I am sadden to hear about your sister in-laws death, having a loved one pass away is always so very hard even if expected. Thinking of you and holding you in the light as you and your brother go through this transition.

My deepest condolence,
bkbiker

[lrprn]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss, SF. Diabetes is a very tough disease on the body, especially over as many years as your SIL had it. My deepest sympathies to you and the other members of your family who are mourning your SIL's death today and for the many days to come.

The fact that the insurance company is asking for so many years of documentation when your SIL's death was obviously not anticipated, fraudulent, or criminal and the amount of payout is so small is solid proof that there is a total loss of compassion and doing what's right in the business world today. I pray that your BIL will receive the benefit dollars he absolutely deserves.

[Minnymouth]

As devastating as it is to loose a loved one, especially a spouse..... its even more so when the added burden of financial problems are thrown into the situation.

Yes, everyone needs some kind of insurance for their final expenses.....if nothing more than just enough to pay for the funeral bill.

Families with children really need the added protection..... Many parents have NOTHING in place should something happen to them or their children. Yes, parents do die, children die, accidents do happen and sickness can claim many.

Every parent should have a "safety net" in place for their family..... and its not all that expensive either...... term life insurance is fairly cheap, policies on children are cheap.....

Many insurance policies have the clause that states - "limited benefits for the first 2 years.".... some do not cover pre-existing conditions at all or you have to wait 2 years before they do....

I think Sinking Fast brother has run into this problem..... and their policy is only about 7 months old.... Being diabetic is considered pre-existing and the insurance company is asking for medical records for clarification.....

And unfortunately, yes, they can refuse payoff on the policy and just reimburse the premiums that have been paid + interest.

Its a shame, but a fact.......

You have my heart felt sympathy for the loss of your sister-in-law and your brother - his wife. You as a sister be ready, he will need a shoulder to cry on and a leg to lean on while he goes through this time in his life. Be patient with him...... he's lost right now.... and walking on very shaky ground....

[arkienurse]

So sorry for your family, will be remembering you all in prayer and good thoughts.
As an OR nurse I see what you have described on a daily basis. My husband is a type 2 and refuses to stick to his diet, or even check his sugar. I have tried to talk to him until I am blue in the face- his mom is almost blind from the bleeding retina problem you described. And except for a small policy thrugh his job, we have no insurance on him. My job refused life insurance on him. The first thing on my to-do list when I finally have some disposable income again.

[SinkingFast]

This is tender subject as this just happened, but people this is what a Financial Planner (ME) does for a living. Every client of mine, with less than $100,000 networth, having a wife and/or children has a simple term life insurance policy purchased from any old source, I don't care. I sell it but it is best to go to your property insurer.

If you want a easy insurance deal, a bunch of Credit unions offer $5,000 life insurance free for keeping a little cash in there C.U.. Hassle in my eyes.....

The cost? about $250 per year, for $100,000 ten year term. Money is the last thing to worry about on the death of a loved one.

Sinkingfast they are attempting to see if a pre-existing condition was not disclosed, and disqualify it. Reputable Insurance companies don't pull that crap, unless it is a higher dollar policy. Who is insurer?

Sinkingfast, the other thing I wanted to throw out is, those children need to be protected, now that a single parent situation exists, I hope brother is going to jump his insurance up at least until they turn 21. Oops I just read, your sil was 55, kids are adults??

Yep, the kids are adults now. Brother is considerably older than me and our sister. His kids are early to mid 30's in age. Adults themselves.

The Insurance Company is 5 Star, I believe he said. One of those, "No physical required" companies. Just answer a few simple questions kind of things. The guy that sold it to them "had" to call in about them, but came back and said everything was OK. They would be covered.

I wanted to ask Brother where that insurance salesman is now, but you know how it goes at a time like this. You can only ask so many questions at one time.

I had no idea how much it costs for a modest funeral or to be buried in this day and age.

I've already told Hubby and the kids not to spend that kind of money when I die. It's insane. Just cremate me, throw a party, and go on a road trip. Toss out my ashes at some places we've had fun. Sprinkle me in Hubby's favorite fishing hole. I don't care. Do whatever is cheapest.

[SinkingFast]

Minny,..............

I had the horrible thought that their insurance may not pay due to the short amount of time they've had the policies. Then when Brother said they were asking for 10 years of medical records, I thought, "That screams they aren't going to pay if I ever heard it."

I've really got my fingers crossed that the "official" cause of death is listed as heart attack. No pre-existing problems with her heart so that would force the insurance company to pay. Hopefully.

[FilingOnMyOwn]

Sorry about your sis inlaw. I hope the insurance company comes through. The last thing in the world people should have to worry about in a time of death is money. So few of us are really prepared for such an event.

[SinkingFast]

The Cemetary sent Brother a pamphlet about markers for him to look at. No prices of course. Brother called and was told that markers range in price from $700-$1500. So there's more money.

Plus, Brother went to the Bank to take SIL's name off their acct. The Bank needs a copy of the Death Certificate.

Brother called to cancel her mail order anti rejection prescription meds. They need a copy of the Death Certificate.

Brother called to cancel her Prescription Drug Insurance Rider policy. They need a copy of the Death Certificate.

Brother called the Hospital about getting copies of SIL's medical records for the Life Insurance Company. They told him she'd have write a letter of request. He explained she'd died. They asked did he have Power of Attny or was he named Executor in her will?? No POW. No will. They said Brother would have to go to Court to get a Court Order naming him Executor of her Estate before they would turn over copies of her medical records to him.

I don't want this to be a morbid thread at all.

I want people aware of what can happen when a loved one dies unexpectedly.

Many of us are here because we did not plan well financially.

If this thread helps to save one family from the insanity my Brother is living with right now, then his experience will have helped someone else.

[LostOne0069]

It's helped me on at least one thing.

While we do carry insurance, $1.5m for me, $50k for the wife and $15k on each kid... I had never even thought about a POA.

[Spiritwovles_2]

SF i am sending prayers your familys way and your brothers way thinking of your sil. Im hoping the insurance company comes thru for him. It is amazing what they can get away with after already approving them. If there were any concerns i would think that would have been talked about and gone over at the time of signing. I also was always under the understanding that once the policy is approved and signed that the first 30-60days u are in a waiting period and not technically covered if something should happen BUT after that time frame that you were covered with no questions asked.?? I feel for your brother to have to deal with the loss of his beloved partner/friend/wife AND worry about expenses and insurance problems ontop of it. How truly horrible.
my thoughts are with you all. I am glad you shared with us this story becuz you have opened my eyes up to see a whole big picture more clearly now knowing the fact that we need to get some life insurance in our household as we have none we couldnt afford it. That will be on my 'priority' to do list once credit reports etc are in order.
Hang in there....

[lrprn]

Brother called the Hospital about getting copies of SIL's medical records for the Life Insurance Company. They told him she'd have write a letter of request. He explained she'd died. They asked did he have Power of Attny or was he named Executor in her will?? No POW. No will. They said Brother would have to go to Court to get a Court Order naming him Executor of her Estate before they would turn over copies of her medical records to him.

SF, a couple of suggestions for your brother to try from this RN insider....

It's very likely that during a previous hospitalization, your SIL gave signed permission on the required HIPAA release form for your brother to receive medical information about her which could help combat the medical records department's denial for copies of her record.

Another option to try is if your SIL had a good relationship with her doctors, your brother can contact her primary physician. Doctors can often be quite helpful opening closed doors in these situations if they are aware that the insurance company has asked for 10 years of medical records to release your SIL's insurance money needed to bury her and the medical records department won't release them to you.

One more option - tell your brother to contact the hospital's patient rights advocate. They are another powerful inside asset inside the hospital in situations like this.

Thanks for posting this thread - although it's very sad to hear about your brother's horrible situation, nothing emphasizes the need for good planning ahead like hearing about what happens when you do but are caught up by unexpected circumstances. No one lives forever.

[debtisbad]

Sadly, in America death and dying is a business. Our entire being is about money. I want my body donated to science and who cares about the rest. I do not want some scum making money off a funeral and such when I could care less! Live while you are living!!!!