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Need advice for mother-in-law who is in deep

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    Need advice for mother-in-law who is in deep

    Hi all,

    My MIL has gotten herself into quite a hole, and I don't know what to tell her. She got divorced about 6 years ago and had no debt and about $10,000 from sell of house after divorce was all settled. She bought another house which has had all sorts of problems, including flooding of the basement. She couldn't afford to live on one income and pay this house payment and maintain her previous lifestyle. She also helped out her son (my BIL) while he was in Afghanistan. He got behind on truck payments and she paid several months for him.

    So last year, she asked my advice about her situation. She had an old car that wasn't going to last much longer, a house that was in bad shape and no equity. She has a steady job making around $55,000 and a decent 401k balance. She also had an undisclosed amount of CC debt, but I imagine it was pretty high. She had also taken out a previous 401k loan and was a year or so into paying it. I did some research for her and told her in my opinion, she should file bankruptcy, walk away from the house. First though, she should buy a new car and cut down on her overtime.

    Well, she didn't want to hear that. She believes strongly in the negative stigma that is associated with bankruptcy. So, she took a $90,000 hardship withdrawal from her 401k instead. She paid off her past due CC accounts, bought a new $26,000 car, and saved some for the tax hit. Taking that hardship loan keeps her from contributing to her 401k per company policy for 6 months or a year. She also waited too long and her credit is pretty bad from the past due accounts.

    Fast forward to the present. She now faces a tax bill of around $40,000. I think this is her total federal income tax for 2013 plus her hardship withdrawal. She set up a payment plan but apparently now the IRS wants all the money immediately. I don't know any of those details. She has basically turned into a nervous wreck. She spends most nights sitting around on her couch making phone calls to IRS and crying. She had tried to get credit from anyone possible. She pulled credit report and it has 10 hard inquiries on it. I honestly don't know what to tell her at this point. A bankruptcy won't do her any good if she can't discharge the taxes. I assume she is just going to have her paycheck garnished by the IRS. She has blown her 401k and is pushing 60. Any thoughts? I'm mainly angry that she didn't listen to me last year before she did all of this. My wife is upset, but we aren't in a position to come up with the money for her.

    #2
    How awful, I hate seeing cases like this, but they are way too common. She needs to go and discuss a Chapter 13 bankruptcy with an experienced attorney in her state. A Chapter 13 bankruptcy will allow her to force the IRS into a payment plan, although if she owes 40k, it won't be cheap. Making the appointment and driving her there with all of her information is the first start, she may not go on her own. It's a shame, the 401k would have been likely completely exempt had she filed for bankruptcy and her retirement would have looked better. At this point, she's probably looking at not retiring until she is forced to for health reasons.
    Any information posted by me is for general informational purposes only. While I am an attorney, I am not YOUR attorney and any information I provide is not legal advice.

    Comment


      #3
      youngman - your synopsis of MIL's financial situation gives no hint of what might have qualified her for a 401K hardship distribution. Paying off unsecured debt and purchasing a vehicle are not nearly good enough reasons to obtain a hardship distribution. In the same paragraph you refer to her "hardship loan" - a distribution and a loan are two separate things. The bad thing about a 401K hardship distribution is that federal taxes are not automatically deducted from the total amount, as they would be in a "normal" distribution.
      I am curious as to why the hardship distribution was allowed - they are very hard to obtain under most circumstances.

      Comment


        #4
        Apparently they aren't that hard to obtain. It was a distribution. She also had a loan out. That was what prevented her from just taking a loan instead of having to take the hardship distribution.

        That's not the point of the thread anyway. I don't know what to tell her. My wife wants me to help her, but I don't think she can be helped now.

        Comment


          #5
          Truthfully you can bring her the information but YOU cannot help her. As you stated earlier you did try to give her advice but she did not want to hear it. You know it is up to her to take those first steps and speak with attorneys regarding her situation. She got herself here and she will have to get herself out.

          Perhaps the best you can do at this point is give her the link to this forum and tell her to start reading, this is a decision she will have to make on her own. She is capable of pulling herself up and out of this mess but it will be baby steps for her, no instant gratification. If she is not ready to change her lifestyle, her attitude about money, her spending habits, her perspective on bankruptcy, then save your breath. When she hits rock bottom and there is no longer anyone there to bail her out or enable her then she will change her feelings and be open to listening. Good Luck!

          Comment

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