I've gone the other way afraid to spend anything................HELP

[pamkev]

I won't spend a dime of money except for house hold bills. We have money in savings more then we ever have for emergencies and there in lies the problems. I had a dishwasher break down and a fridge that is dying and I won't tap into the savings for fear that something really major will come along and we won't have the cash.

The dishwasher is a want not a need as I see it, as we can do dishes the old fashion way DH does not see it that way he wants one like yesterday. I'm really shocked he just hasn't go out and brought one. The fridge on the other hand I know we need it is over 25 years old but I just can't seem to spend the money.

Has this happened to anyone else who went though BK it has been 2 years since we filed in Aug. We did take a trip with friends this past Nov and I had a very hard time with spending that money .

I need help as it starting to cause some conflict at home. DH says I will start to find a way to use toilet paper twice if I could.

Pam

[frogger]

Pam - I was that way for the first couple of years as well. Once you've been broke, you never want to get in that situation again. Once you have your emergency fund in place, you must allow yourself a little breathing room, and perhaps even a little fun. You've just got to remember what you have learned from the past, and allow your behavior to gradually change into what you want it to be.

It's just a state of mind thing. I know where're your coming from.

Good luck.

[keepmine]

Yeah-been there and to a degree, I'm still there. None of us want to ever be broke again. Those feelings will pass as time and the bank account grows.
Go ahead and get both the fridge and dishwasher.You kept the home through bk and part of owning a home is keeping everything in working order. Look at the expenditures as an investment.

[Drazil65]

Hi, still there to a certain degree also, had a really hard time the first year especially. I really analyze every purchase over $100 but one thing that helped me was dividing the savings. We have our emergency fund all built up but continue to add to it each month now (instead of each paycheck). Then we opened an account just for travel and add to that every month, then an account for household things (although we have the luxury of renting there is not much we need to do here or replace and it feels so good!!!!), then a separate account for clothes/shoes etc. You get the picture, the separate accounts helped me not feel like I was going into the "emergency fund" for wants (clothes, travel etc) instead of needs.

We will always live on one paycheck (we both work) and have an emergency fund so things will be paid in cash. After my husband losing his job then our tenant moving out of the rental we owned in another state (paying that mortgage outright put our primary house in jeopardy), the whole thing was a domino effect, no more. We will live a minimalistic lifestyle (rent) and have money in the bank and not use credit cards and pay cash. Life is about quality now, not things and that is a good feeling!

[pamkev]

Thanks everyone for your help. I know I got to loosen up it's just hard. I tell myself when we have a certain amount of money in savings we can go get the fridge and dishwasher then I raise the bar and say just a thousand dollar more and we can go buy it reach that point and then it goes on and on. I put money away every pay.

I like the idea of starting another account for household items might have to do that. Thanks again for listening

Pam

[LadyInTheRed]

I tell myself when we have a certain amount of money in savings we can go get the fridge and dishwasher then I raise the bar and say just a thousand dollar more and we can go buy it reach that point and then it goes on and on. I put money away every pay.

Go buy the fridge! You will need it eventually and you will make a better spending decision if you aren't buying because the fridge stopped working and the food is about to go bad. Also, a new fridge will be a lot more energy efficient than a 25 year old one. I recommend Sears Outlet for appliances. If you don't mind a little scratch or ding, you can get really good deals. They have an excellent website that lets you see what's in stock near you.

As somebody who has lived without a dishwasher for years, I agree that it is more a want than a need. But, if my kitchen were larger, I would have one by now. You deserve some wants! How about telling your husband that when your saving gets to a certain level, you agree to buy a dishwasher. Give him permission now to go out and buy one when the balance hits the target, even if you start to back peddle.

[bcohen]

You don't have to buy fancy stainless steel appliances with silly features that no one uses. Look at the inexpensive models such as Hotpoint, which are very reliable, and commonly used in apartments and rental houses. I live in an apartment with these appliances, and have been very happy with them. The Hotpoint refrigerator sells for less than $500 new, and the Hotpoint stove sells for less than $400 new, but they both perform as well as appliances costing 3 to 4 times as much.

[pamkev]

Thanks Lady and BC gonna check to see if we have a Sears outlet near us. I don't plan on buying the most expensive will check out the hot point brand

Pam

[Slingerland]

pamkev, as a landlord, I've bought a lot of refrigerators the past few years. Based on my experience (plus talking to a lot of local appliance techs):

Best models:
GE (but not the Hotpoint... more below)
Frigidaire
Whirlpool

Worst models:
LG - parts are 50% higher than others and always need 10 days to ship in.
Tappan - specific to ranges, controller boards are prone to fail. The board costs more than a new range.
Hotpoint - no longer made by GE, they use the same parts as Tappan
Kenmoor - no longer made themselves, they farm out manufacturing to lowest cost bidder of the week.

I still have a 35 year old Kenmoor refrig in my office building. Yes, it's ugly, not particularly efficient, doesn't have digital whiz-bang. BUT... you'll never buy a Kenmoor made today that will hold up as long.

Good luck!

[bcohen]

Worst models:
LG - parts are 50% higher than others and always need 10 days to ship in.
Tappan - specific to ranges, controller boards are prone to fail. The board costs more than a new range.
Hotpoint - no longer made by GE, they use the same parts as Tappan
Kenmoor - no longer made themselves, they farm out manufacturing to lowest cost bidder of the week.

I disagree about the Hotpoint. When I moved into this apartment in August of 2007, they put new appliances for me--a Hotpoint refrigerator and a Hotpoint electric stove. Both have been rock solid reliable, and were made by GE.

I agree though that Kenmore is junk now.

[Slingerland]

Hotpoint in 2007 was certainly a different animal. At that time they were the entry level appliances from GE, but benefited from higher quality GE parts and common design. According to my appliance guy, starting about 2010, the parts were no longer the same quality... coil burners, control boards, etc., were second-sourced to cheaper overseas companies than the main GE line.

GE sold the European branch of the company. They still own the brand name in the US, but like Sears, it doesn't seem to mean as much now and the price difference isn't much. Every Hotpoint I bought after 2010 has failed... as they say in the automotive worlds, "your mileage may vary" of course . Going forward, I wouldn't buy them. I only buy main-brand GE, Whirlpool and Frigidaire.

Just as a FYI, in case anybody is wondering about "who builds whom": http://www.appliance411.com/purchase/make.shtml

[pamkev]

The fridge I have is a Frigidaire.

Thanks for the info Slingerland

[AngelinaCat]

We are on fixed incomes, not counting what I earn at my PT job at my college.

Once upon a time, we could whip out the plastic card and buy anything we wanted. We really did not do that for ourselves, instead we tried to help people down on their luck. Those people did not/do not understand or appreciate what we had to offer. That foolishness on our part and some other unwise financial decisions is what landed us here.

[AngelinaCat]

I will try to add this: When a good bit of money appears in one our accounts, 'Hub says 'yea. Okay I can do this, this, and that'

I have to reel him in and say 'No Dear, we have to do thus and such.

And we more or less agree (at times) to disagree, and we get on with life.

[spidge]

You know that commercial where the kid comes home from school and Dad asks if she has any change from her lunch money? It's a way of creating that mindset to weigh what one really wants while standing there at the register.
Pamkev, your close to that dream spot we all try so very hard to get to, so if the fridge still works I would buy the dishwasher as a reward for you and your husband who was in this mess with you. He may need the extra kick to keep him on track. Dedication/diligence/sacrifice must be connected with some kind of reward to stay true to the course. Motivate him with the cash only idea and he will likely make a big effort on the fridge too. Let him shell over the money when it come time to buy and you may see him think quite heavily on it before he pulls a bunch of cash out of his pocket. Maybe a jar so he can see it when he drops change in or even the left over from ending up under budget on anything else.
I would love to be in your place, believe it or not.