Regrets?

[tobee43]

i certainly do not regret filing. it was by the BEST move we could have made to allow us a fresh clean start. one thing i so agree with everything my learned forum members mentioned above, and that is basically do not throw good money after bad. any help your parents may offer should be used later on down the road.

you need to make decisions that are right for you and you alone. no one else. the stigma related to bk is so way out of proportion it's rather unfair. you will do fine and your future will go well!! best of luck!

[BKAttyMI]

The worst appointments I have as an attorney are those in which people have drained all of their assets, retirement, cars, collectibles, wedding rings in order to make those credit card (or whatever) payments. Now they're in my office because they've run out of things to sell or drain to pay and need to file bankruptcy. A good bankruptcy attorney can run the numbers and tell you if you are, in fact, "bankrupt". Which means your income is not enough to sustain your current bills. Often, I am even able to lower house or car payments via a Chapter 13 bankruptcy to make life easier. I've never had anyone tell me they regret filing. Please don't let your parents drain their assets, that is like throwing money in the trash.

[bcohen]

I don't regret filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner! No way would I have asked my parents--or anyone else in my family--to waste their money paying toward my debts, and I wouldn't have accepted the money even if it was offered. If your parents wish to give you money as a gift, and they can afford to do so, then the smart thing to do would be FIRST file for bankruptcy, THEN once the case is closed, accept the gift and use the money to rebuild going forward. Once you have decided that bankruptcy is an option, paying ANYTHING toward ANY unsecured debt (or any secured debt for property which you wish to give up) is flushing money down a toilet.

[nmocean]

I went to the attorney again today about filing. They have come up with a payment of 3120 a month. Most of my salary has overtime on it if I don't get overtime bills can't be paid. they are wanting a 1000.00 a pay which would leave me 16.00 a pay on a straight pay. The overtime is out of control at work and has been with the breakdowns etc. I really don't see it lasting much longer at this pace. I don't know what to do

[nmocean]

Now the lawyer called me back and said he probably could get the payment reduced from 3120 to 2200-2300 a month now

[nmocean]

my wife was a loan officer for 19 years and banks and credit unions will not give a loan that counted on overtime to make loan payments and I agree. I asked if I would make the cc current and started making payments which we can afford now with new income, lawyer said no also said no to settling. when he showed me the breakdown there was almost 100% pay to trustee along with attorney. I said that looks like loan shark figures too me.

[TXskyblue]

When I filed, I worked zero OT for 6 solid months. Literally not one hour extra.

It's not illegal. It's just strategic planning. If you don't plan stategically, you'll end up with a payment higher than you should be paying.

[papie]

I work in the finance industry (and troll my fair share of financial forums) and I've ran into so many groups that LOVE Dave Ramsey. What most of these people have in common is that they've never experienced true financial hardships. Dave Ramsey's advice is great for people who have lots of frills and luxuries to cut and a manageable amount of debt to pay down. A lot of families in this country spend ungodly amounts of money on crap, and those people can often cut their budget and pay down debt. And that's a great idea for those that are able do that. I used to do financial counseling and reviewed budgets (the irony, I know), and there were a good number of people could easily find $1k month just by refinancing, lowering cable and phone plans, packing lunches, etc. It's kind of astounding.

But when you are paying out more than you make every month and barely covering basic necessities, bankruptcy is an amazing tool. I don't regret it for a second. I was working 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., commuting 2.5 hours in total, and still not covering our medical bills and utilities. There was no amount of budget cutting that could save us. I only wish we would have did it sooner, because we were those people who took every avenue possible to avoid it, cashing in retirement, selling whatever we could, and still getting no where.

And even with that, I view bankruptcy as a business decision, and people should do what is best for their family and their future. I've heard time and time again, that paying down debt is the "right" thing to do. And I'm kind of over that, because the banks and corporations in this country give exactly zero cares about doing the right thing, so I feel no obligation to perform some magical social duty and work 15 jobs to pay them. I'm over those days.

It's really easy for someone who's never lived through the crushing emotions of debt to tell someone else to take the Dave Ramsey route.

[TXskyblue]

It's really easy for someone who's never lived through the crushing emotions of debt to tell someone else to take the Dave Ramsey route.

I can vouch for this. Before I get myself into crushing debt, I thought bankruptcy was a cop out and that if people just tightened their belts then they could do the honorable thing of paying back their debts.

Paying just the substantial minimums on 70k of credit card debt and seeing my balances go up every month because all my cash was going to the cards.....well, it sure gave me a starkly different perspective.

I'm not happy I got into that situation by my own hand, but I have zero regrets about filing.

[LadyInTheRed]

Well said, papie.

[Dancer]

Thanks everyone. Regarding Dave Ramsey, I read an interesting blog entry about him that speculated that he appeals to people who like to believe that they have some control over their destiny. Believing that it's your fault is only possible if you believe you have some power or some control. I think that explains some of the bizarre devotion to him. If he's wrong, it's like admitting that we, the American middle class, are basically just a little boat floating around in the ocean, getting pushed around by the currents and the wind. It's kind of scary to admit that we really do not have much control over our destiny, KWIM?

His followers would tell me that I'm supposed to go back to work and put my kid in daycare all day long and my DH is supposed to work 2 jobs and never see us. All to pay off a mortgage that is underwater because property values fell.

My DH's subdivision has some special taxes. When it was built, the developers (declared bankruptcy in 2008 but that's okay since it was a business, right?) let the empty lots go into foreclosure. The banks that own the lots now refuse to pay the property taxes (doesn't that make them deadbeats???? hmmm) so the homeowners in the subdivision have to make up the difference so our property taxes kept increasing. And of course home values in the subdivision began to fall because who wants to buy into a subdivision where the property taxes keep going up? I'm guessing that Ramsey and his devotees wouldn't find much wrong with the banks and the developers here and conclude that the homeowners have to pick up the slack but I'm guessing that Chase (literally they are the bank that owns the lots) has more resources to pay the property taxes than the middle class families who live in that subdivision.

[LadyInTheRed]

Thanks everyone. Regarding Dave Ramsey, I read an interesting blog entry about him that speculated that he appeals to people who like to believe that they have some control over their destiny. Believing that it's your fault is only possible if you believe you have some power or some control. I think that explains some of the bizarre devotion to him. If he's wrong, it's like admitting that we, the American middle class, are basically just a little boat floating around in the ocean, getting pushed around by the currents and the wind. It's kind of scary to admit that we really do not have much control over our destiny, KWIM?

I like to believe I have control over some aspects of my destiny, including the financial aspect. Filing bankruptcy was an exercise of that control. Before that, it was the creditors who were in control.

[pamkev]

No truer words written Lady in Red

[ksgirl38]

BK has a stigma. My parents would be horrified to learn I filed bankruptcy. I think it's a generational thing.

Still, let others deal with their own prejudices and do what is best for you. Bankruptcy seems ideal in your husband's case.

Agreed! I think it's ignorance from people who don't fully understand it all or who have never experienced it.

[ksgirl38]

Thanks everyone. Here's something I do not get. I've been lurking on the Dave Ramsey forum (just lurking, I do not post there) and everyone there is adamant that filing BK is the worst thing ever and that you'll regret it. They post anecdotal things like "everyone I know who has filed, regrets it." But I read here that most do not regret it.

Generally speaking, do you think that many people really do regret filing? I just don't get why they are so vigorously against BK.

Maybe those are the people who don't know much about BK and didn't do their research prior to filing. I'll admit there were a lot of things I didn't know about before I filed, but after researching it I really did feel it was a better option.