It's Just Too EASY!!

[DaisysMom]

I had my 341 in April 2012 and was discharged 60 days after. Life was much easier. I have since used my head (I thought anyway) and slowly got back into having a little credit. It was merchant cards...Wal-Mart, Woman Within (clothing) and a couple others. I have gotten my credit score up to 664 and it keeps getting better.

What I found though, is that even if I just owed very small amounts to several creditors it was adding up monthly. And then it hit me like a brick. I was gradually going down the same path that caused the BK in the first place. Luckily none of the amounts were very high and I started just paying them off immediately. I have two that have $0 balances as I type this. What a wake-up call.

I hadn't come here very much since my BK, but when I did, I read the posts of folks who filed and then a few years later found themselves right back where they were before the BK. Right where I was headed. I can relate....it's just too easy to go back. Too many offers in the mail...too many wants and not needs.

So what is want to say is, BK is a process that continues on well after you are discharged. We have to learn and no matter how it hurts, we have to say "no" to ourselves when we try to rationalize the same behavior we had pre-BK. It's hard...I know...I hate denying myself something when it really catches my eye. But going back to those debt-ridden sleepless nights is just not an option.

And please...don't take this the wrong way. This is not intended for those folks who's life circumstances beyond your control, have cause you to have financial hardship. My heart truly goes out to you. But it is for the folks like me who's ...I-Want-It-Now...way of living caused the problem.

Take care and shop smart...they are out there and they want to keep you in debt.

DM

[AngelinaCat]

Thank you DaisysMom for that powerful testimony about how easy it is to be drawn BACK into debt.

I have counseled many newly discharged members about NOT getting a credit card, and have been castigated at times.

The problem is that an individual has to learn what a NEED is vs a WANT. I have that problem with my own 'Hub. I have to make him wait until the next paycheck for his WANT, vs what we really NEED.

Yes, it is fine to get the 'toys' now and again, but SAVE for them.

Thanks DM. I am not angry at you or even the Posters at Large; just Passionate about my views...

[TheBajan]

I also want to echo a huge thank you for your post. Well done! It takes strong character to come back and be transparent. Good job in seeing your problem, fixing it and caring enough to share.

[TXskyblue]

Great post.

I'm two months post discharge and I have several credit cards. Two were cards that miraculously survived BK. One is a secured. The other two are new ones.

I only use them to pay bills online. I paid my car insurance (about $400) with one and when I saw that credit card bill come in, I about fainted. The "old me" thought, "just pay the minimum. You have a large credit limit and that's less than 5% utilization." Then I looked over at the Box O' Shame, a brown box I keep my pre-BK credit card statements in. I thought about how I got into the position of oweing 80K.

Paid it off that day and felt instantly better. We all have different circumstances, but I know that my BK was caused by no one other than me. I completely understand where you are coming from in your post.

I intend to never carry a balance again.

[Drazil65]

At least the lesson has taken hold and you have learned through the process. It's hard but now you have no excuse if you give yourself permission to head down that road again. You know how it happened the first time. I have to agree that the best way to keep from falling in that trap is to not use CC at all. It is amazing how good a savings account and paying with cash feels. We save for every want and usually by the time we have enough saved we no longer want it. Even if you keep a card strictly to reserve hotel rooms and car rentals put it away and ONLY use it to reserve and then pay cash for the invoice at the end. We use Christmas layaway and my shopping is now complete and paid for. It is so good not to have those bills coming in. Right now we have half the cash for our next family vacation in an envelope for next spring. It takes some planning but impulse buying probably was a problem to begin with. Never forget how far you have come.

[pamkev]

Thank you for the reminder. We have 2 cc just in case although like Cat I have a Hubby that thinks his wants our needs so far it's been okay. I have the cards in my name and him as a user. I just remind him ever so gentle that I can take care of that in a heartbeat. We have savings and it keeps on growing.

Pam

[nioka]

Many years ago after my divorce I was in a "cash only" mode and I did very well. I had a nice bank account and owed no one a penny. Then a friend stayed with me for a while and wanted to rent a movie. We went to the movie rental store and found I could not rent a movie because I had no CC. I never heard the end of that and finally got a CC. The few times I used that CC I informed as to how good my credit was getting and I got increasingly more and more offers. Then the cash-back deals started. Long story short, I fell for all the whistles and bells. The more credit I paid off the higher my credit score, wow, 800 +, I was thinking I was doing something great. I could walk into any store and walk out with almost anything they had for sale and that included vehicles. What a gimmick! I did fine until I retired and then the down hill ride began.

I paid all my medical bills with CC's piling up more and more debt. The funny part is the friend who made fun of me for not being able to rent a movie never used his CC's for medical bills. He had about $250k in savings and investments, but when he had a large medical bill he cried poor and got away with it. He got a medical bill for $16k. He told them he didn't have it and paid $100 a month for a few years and they finally wrote it off.

Like the OP says, it's just to easy. I am about to file and I have no intention of going back to CC's. I am not sure how I will rebuild my credit or if I will even try. I did OK years ago using cash only and I will try again. I am not sure if it can be done today as almost everything requires a CC, motels, ordering online, etc. I will try to use my Paypal as much as possible and try to find CC alternatives to the rest.

[tobee43]

great post!!!!

just a thought to remember here. not everyone's bk was caused by over using their CC's or money mismanagement. job loss, illness many other factors contribute to one filing bk.

we have cc's now we never misused them. still don't only have a few but do not have the 5 digit credit lines we use to have. i still like paying for services with our cc's only because if they don't work out one can always stop payment. it's much more difficult nowadays with a check, learned that the hard way.

i think that's whay 13's work well for so many. they have the income and many learn to use their money in a more effective and efficient way.

[lillymarlene]

Thanks for the great post. I know I'm echoing everyone else here, but it would be just too easy to travel down that path again. I used to live so mindlessly. Yesterday I went shopping, and well I guess I've changed a lot in little ways but it adds up. I tried on several shirts and 3 fit me. Years ago I would have bought all 3 because you never know. This time I made myself get only one, and put the rest back. Then I do NEED a pair of winter boots, but I couldn't bring myself to pay these prices, so I superglued my old ones.

3 years ago when I started this Chapter 13, I knew I'd never survive it unless I started acting like I hoped to qualify for the "Extreme Cheapskates" show. Though I have tp in my house and I draw the line at food dumpster diving

[bcohen]

3 years ago when I started this Chapter 13, I knew I'd never survive it unless I started acting like I hoped to qualify for the "Extreme Cheapskates" show. Though I have tp in my house and I draw the line at food dumpster diving

There's nothing wrong with living frugally and keeping costs down--it's not being "cheap", it's being smart. There's nothing wrong with dumpster diving either, as long as you take care to not make a mess or get caught. Around here, a lot of dumpsters have "no trespassing" signs on them, which means you just need to be careful and avoid being seen by tenants or by police. Wearing dark clothes and going late at night helps in that regard. If you are smart about it, it won't be a problem, and you'd be amazed by the perfectly good stuff people throw out, especially at the end of the month when they're moving.

[Drazil65]

LOL...we kid around here that our family New Years resolution is to get a spot on the Extreme Cheapskate show. Although we may not make it because we have our limits as well, hubby refuses to share dental floss!!!! Just joking of course and although the people on that show are extreme we have learned a thing or two and if nothing else its amusing.

We shop consignment shops mostly. We live in a very affluent area where people turn their clothes and furniture into the consignment shops with the tags attached. Good for me as I am getting designer goods for extreme cheap! Wait 30 days from the time they bring it in and get 50% off. I cannot tell you the last time hubby and I purchased new clothes from a store, even if we go in to look we are floored by the prices and know we can get sometimes better brands for much cheaper. It works well for us. It is actually kind of fun to figure out new ways to cut down on costs. We only use cash so we like to use it wisely.

[tobee43]

i LOVE that consignment shop shopping!! we have one in this area that is really upscale...way way way more than we could afford for items. we furnished half this house from that shop! we got what we know to 6-7 hundred mirrors as example for $65! they were beautiful and we like the "older" looks. i have also found some pretty value items so low priced i resold the lol!

drazil65: i hope they have then in NC!! i can't wait i heard they have great auctions especially since we love older items as oppose to buying new

[DaisysMom]

Thank you all for the positive responses to my post. It was truly an "Ah-Ha" moment and I thought if it could help even one person, it would be worth tattling on myself about my TEMPORARY loss of CC control.

DM

PS....We have several Goodwills in my area...I love them. I bought a beautiful milk glass lamp for 3 bucks. Put a new switch and cord on it and it now sits on my night stand. I love cheap but wonderful treasures!!! Woot!!