file BK without spousal approval.

[ValleYum]

Drazil speaks with great wisdom in reply #104.

This could and *should* be your mantra right now.

We all care about you... let's get to work and fix this! It may not end exactly the way you want it to - but you would at least be free from booze and gambling. ::::hug::::

[keepsmiling]

Smarter heads than mine have spoken. Just sending hugs and glad you are still with us. ((((hugs))))
People have come out from even worse situations than yours. YOU WILL BE OK. Just keep on keeping on. And stay out of the bars, ok? As much as you can. Find another way to unwind. Maybe yoga? Hot bubble bath? great music?

[Pandora]

Okay, I've read this thread over and over again, haven't comment very much because I've been contemplating many things and have come to the conclusion of one of two things:

Either we're all being catfished (I certainly hope this isnt the case given people have invested time, energy and genuine care into this persons well being and welfare) OR

the OP is truthful - so giving the benefit of the doubt; this is going to sound harsh - however I'm a big believer in tough love, and it sounds like she needs a big old dose of it, so here goes.

Kathy:

No one can help you until you help yourself, period.

You have posted over and over again that you need help, you know your issues and according to you, you've found some help through several sponsors and meetings with GA, yet you cannot "come clean to your sponsors", however you can "come clean" to strangers of this internet forum and voice openly. If you can do it here, you can do it at a GA meeting.

You keep saying you are drinking, and heavily - perhaps you need to also join AA. As you have stated, drinking can fuel your gambling and cause you to make poor choices. If the people you hang around drink alot - then you need to change the scenery.

Marriage is hard work and honesty, once lost, is hard to get back. If you want your marriage to work, you must be honest with your husband. If he leaves or chooses to divorce you, then that is something you and he will have to deal with at that point in time. Again, there are marriage counselors that are experienced in dealing with these issues as well.

If you need to file BK to help alleviate the burden of unsecured debt, then do it. In doing so, it should / may possibly restructure your money in a way that you may be able to put it towards paying off those loan sharks you owe, and that is a good thing. Again, nothing can be solved by sticking your head in the sand or sitting behind a computer screen when there are meetings that should be happening in a brick and mortar building and face to face. I hope you get all the help you need - and can be honest with yourself and those around you. Until you do those things, nothing will change.

I certainly hope what you've written is the truth and you arent someone that is just catfishing people - every one of the posters that have responded to you are genuine, they care and have posted out of concern. If I offend anyone with what I've written, my apologies in advance and my personal apologies to the OP if all of this is true; however after about the fifth posting, I'm sorry but doubts began to creep in.

Back to the original question and post: Are you planning on filing for BK and have you even met with a lawyer?

[pamkev]

Pandora,
I see Kathy hasn't posted in a few days and I'm wondering has this all be a con game on us or she went back to gambling.

I hope it"s not either and she will post back here soon

[AngelinaCat]

I, too have been watching and wondering. I do hope that she is okay and is not contemplating something very foolish.

In my HO, I think she needs to 'fess up to her husband, who at this time still seems to be in the household--although away alot. They need to sit down and talk, scream, cry, and be honest with each other, and then see if they can/want to pick up the pieces of the relationship.

If they are honest with each other, then they need counseling to see what is wrong with the marriage that K feels she must drink and gamble. Only once she is honest with her husband and/or us can she sort this out.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I've been absent lately and for a long time, but I cannot believe the length of this thread. Sometimes a person just cannot be helped. The 'man-hours' spent on this client is shameful. It is my opinion that either this person will not listen, or is incapable to heed advice, or is duping us all, or has a mental problem.

This is why the adage of you can take a horse to water, but.......

In my opinion, this thread should be terminated. My 2 cents. 'Hub

[Pjmax]

There is always a chance of someone putting something over on us, however, these things do happen to people, and as long as there is the slightest possibility that this is someone with real problems, in real trouble, I'll take that chance and listen, it's not too much to ask. Sometimes people have no where to turn, and find some friendly voices in what may seem an odd place.

Kathy, I hope you are allright.

[sophieanne]

I have to agree with Pandora and Angela Cat and Hub..this thread has been going on far too long. I too had a gambling problem before but I had to make the decision to stop and get my life in order. The sympathy for the OP has been interesting but the reality is you can't help someone who won't help themself. And I'm sorry but to be to the point where you've borrowed from Loan Sharks and are now endangering your husband (do you think he's immune to the danger of what you've done?) is inexcusable. The desire to go bankrupt is just a bandaid solution to a huge problem. You're looking for an easy out...you have to be honest and admit to your husband what you've done...i feel more sorry for him than I do for you. I'm not mean, you're just desperate right now and I don't think this is the answer. Personally i'm not even convinced this is a real person writing.

[ValleYum]

Kathy, I hope you are okay and you have locally found the help you need.

That said, I am closing this thread. If Kathy needs help she is free to open another thread.