file BK without spousal approval.

[kathyc02124]

I appreciate all your efforts to help. This board is very helpful. The problem is I have not been as specific about my total financial problems. I am afraid to discuss too much on here but every payday I pay someone $400 on close to a $10,000 debt. Only $200 of that amount goes to the debt. The other $200 is interest. And on occasion if I miss a payment, $500 gets added to the other end. And I can't explain to my husband where $400 goes every week. And I certainly couldn't claim it on the means test. So I work as much overtime as I can, because my husband expects me to pay all the credit card bills at the end of the month, that I have run up. That is why I thought if I could get rid of the credit card debt, I could use that money to make extra payments on the other debt. And no, it is not possible at all to change anything about the $400 every week. That is a must.

[keepsmiling]

You are playing a very dangerous game. But you know that already... right?
You'd best be forthcoming with your hub immediately. He's going to find out one way or the other.

[kathyc02124]

It's on my mind everyday. I'm looking everywhere, trying to find a way out of this. I'm afraid my husband will give up and leave if he finds out the trouble I am in. He has warned me man times that he can no longer help me and those were the times when I was only in debt for a few thousand. This time is much worse. I'm certain he will leave. I had to beg the last time. This will be the 3rd "last" time. I just don't know what else to do.

[AngelinaCat]

I appreciate all your efforts to help. This board is very helpful. The problem is I have not been as specific about my total financial problems. I am afraid to discuss too much on here but every payday I pay someone $400 on close to a $10,000 debt. Only $200 of that amount goes to the debt. The other $200 is interest. And on occasion if I miss a payment, $500 gets added to the other end. And I can't explain to my husband where $400 goes every week. And I certainly couldn't claim it on the means test. So I work as much overtime as I can, because my husband expects me to pay all the credit card bills at the end of the month, that I have run up. That is why I thought if I could get rid of the credit card debt, I could use that money to make extra payments on the other debt. And no, it is not possible at all to change anything about the $400 every week. That is a must.

Dearest Daughter---and I DO mean that--. You are involved with some loan sharks. And unless these people are legitimate PayDay Loan people, you are going to end up on the short end of the stick. AND if the situation is like I am thinking it is, BK isn't going to help you at all.

You need to 'fess up and talk to DH NOW. I hope he loves you enough to put up with what you are putting him through....

[angel7821]

My sis in law has a bad gambling problem also. My brother had no idea until one day he had to use his credit card and thought he had a lot of available credit and his purchase was declined. He called the cc company to see what was going on and sure enough his card was maxed out. Seems my sis in law had been using those blank checks that come in the mail and was forging my brothers signature on them. She was deep in debt to pay day loan companies and cc companies and just gambled her paychecks away every Friday. She was not paying any bills either. She had shoe boxes full of unpaid bills under the bed hiding all this from my brother. Well my brother threatened to take their son and leave her unless she did something about this horrible mess she had gotten herself into.

She swore she would get a second job to pay off all this debt. And she did. She worked 2 full time jobs for 4 years and paid it all back. She lived on like 4 hours of sleep a day but never complained. She is now debt free and their marriage is strong to this day. She has gained my brothers trust again (which took a long time) and has not gambled since. I think she knows if she gets into trouble again it will cost her the marriage.

Gambling is a horrible addiction and I don't wish it on anyone. I saw first hand how it almost destroyed a marriage. OP good luck to you in your situation. Their is a way out and when you find it you have got to be strong and never gamble again. There is help out there for your addiction and you need to get on board with that.

[pamkev]

Get to GA like yesterday you need it your husband needs it. Do you have children?

Pam

[kathyc02124]

My sis in law has a bad gambling problem also. My brother had no idea until one day he had to use his credit card and thought he had a lot of available credit and his purchase was declined. He called the cc company to see what was going on and sure enough his card was maxed out. Seems my sis in law had been using those blank checks that come in the mail and was forging my brothers signature on them. She was deep in debt to pay day loan companies and cc companies and just gambled her paychecks away every Friday. She was not paying any bills either. She had shoe boxes full of unpaid bills under the bed hiding all this from my brother. Well my brother threatened to take their son and leave her unless she did something about this horrible mess she had gotten herself into.

She swore she would get a second job to pay off all this debt. And she did. She worked 2 full time jobs for 4 years and paid it all back. She lived on like 4 hours of sleep a day but never complained. She is now debt free and their marriage is strong to this day. She has gained my brothers trust again (which took a long time) and has not gambled since. I think she knows if she gets into trouble again it will cost her the marriage.

Gambling is a horrible addiction and I don't wish it on anyone. I saw first hand how it almost destroyed a marriage. OP good luck to you in your situation. Their is a way out and when you find it you have got to be strong and never gamble again. There is help out there for your addiction and you need to get on board with that.

Your sister in law and I have a lot in common. I'm working 16-20 hours of overtime each week just treading water, never getting ahead.

[kathyc02124]

Get to GA like yesterday you need it your husband needs it. Do you have children?

Pam

No, we do not have children. I called GA before but never followed through with attending a meeting.

[kathyc02124]

I'm involved with people I don't want to be involved with for sure. But it is not easy getting out. I'm trying hard though.

[Pjmax]

In one of your earlier posts, you said you HAD a gambling problem. You HAVE a gambling addiction, and always will. You need help in managing this and the side effects that go with it, i.e. deception.

We don't really know you, but you have some caring friends here, and we sooo want things to go well for you.

Call GA now, and go!!! Please!!!

[Pjmax]

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/

[kathyc02124]

worked a double today. Got off about an hour ago and came straight home. My husband is out of town this weekend. He works tuesday, thursday and saturdays and is away overnight. It is during his away times that I get through work and would head to foxwoods. But it is saturday night, he is away and I choose to be home tonight. If it means anything, I looked forward to coming home tonight to see my responses on here, as opposed to thinking maybe I could run over to foxwoods for a few hours and no one would know. I'm happy I did this. It showed me that I care about this board and that means a lot to me.
Pj. keep. pam, angel, pandora, carolyn, lady in red, I do read every word you write over and over. I have not disagreed with anything any of you have written. I have nothing to gain by just agreeing with you and then heading out to the casino. I'm home tonight at least partly due to your efforts? You have my attention. Until now I have answered only to myself and I would easily talk myself into stopping off for a couple of drinks after work since my husband is away and I would have some friends to talk to. After a few drinks I would decide I could run over to foxwoods and still be home before to catch a couple of hours sleep and no one would even know. I am so happy I found this forum. Thank you all for being here.

[ValleYum]

Good for you, kathy! That is a huge thing you did changing the habit of going to the bar then to the casino last night.

You can go to a G.A. meeting online. Just Google and go NOW. Then find a real life meeting and go ASAP.

You can also start writing out your plan to get out of debt -which you can use it when you talk to your husband. Perhaps journaling (writing in a diary) would help you, too.

You can do this!

[pamkev]

A baby step you took which is the beginning to many more steps. Please get to GA. You can do this I know.

I went though a drug addiction with my son when he was in his late teens early twenties, we had many steps forward and also some backwards including jail time. Nothing can tear a loved ones heart out they seeing someone you love behind bars, for him that was his bottom and he was never going back there again.

He is now walking a different path and that hard time seems so far away. I tell you this to encourage you.

YOU CAN DO THIS

[kathyc02124]

placed a call to the hot line last night and talked with someone for almost 1/2 hour. They said someone would call me this morning. I just got off the phone with my potential "sponsor" and we are meeting for lunch later today. Bet ya $5 I'll make it there?