Please help.

[jange]

At 57 & 59, my husband and I have 29 payments done & 31 to go! In 32 months my husband plans on retiring. I didn't need to file at age 40 but I should have at age 50. It doesn't matter what age you are a clean start is a wonderful thing. I am now looking forward to our retirement years. Before filing I couldn't think about retirement only that I would need to work until I died because I would never be out of debt.

[TheBajan]

These posts are why I love this forum. So much support. I wish the warmth in these posts could be spread around the world

Brasman,

You will get through this. You will keep your home. You will save your marriage (if that is an issue). Even if something happens during the course of your Chapter 13 where you cannot make a payment or two, there are simple ways to fix the problems. If there is one thing I have learned from reading this forum, it is that consumers are very resilient. Do what needs to be done and don’t look back.

Des.

I'm not terribly creative so can I just echo Des??? Very well said!!!

[tobee43]

Over 40 (approaching 50). Used to make over $220k/yr household. Had all the toys. Had a business collapse. Lost $300k in a house; walked away another $250k under water. Visibly aged to the point that my friends discussed putting me in the hospital. Slept maybe 20 hrs a week at best. Purchased term life insurance feeling that I was certain to either stroke out or pull the trigger myself.

Had one colleague who pointed me to this forum. Read for several months. Found two awesome attorneys and hired one. Planned BK for 9 months before filing, all the while hoping I did not have to do so.

Discharged just over $1 million in debts between credit cards and mortgages in a Ch 7. Approaching 2 years from discharge. Live on a cash basis but have credit for emergencies (a strategic move I learned in BK counseling). Have 9 months living expenses in the bank plus an emergency fund that can now handle almost every happenstance or two or three. Have a solid beginning for a house down payment should we choose to go that route again. Retirement fund is now growing. Am off the blood pressure meds, the anti-depressants, and have lost 27 lbs (another 30 to go).

Easy? No.

But if you take this seriously, it just might be the best offer you will get for a very long time.

wow btbeme, you have been through the mill!!! congrats on your new founded success! and, on the weight loss!

[btbeme]

Over 40 (approaching 50). Used to make over $220k/yr household. Had all the toys. Had a business collapse. Lost $300k in a house; walked away another $250k under water. Visibly aged to the point that my friends discussed putting me in the hospital. Slept maybe 20 hrs a week at best. Purchased term life insurance feeling that I was certain to either stroke out or pull the trigger myself.

Had one colleague who pointed me to this forum. Read for several months. Found two awesome attorneys and hired one. Planned BK for 9 months before filing, all the while hoping I did not have to do so.

Discharged just over $1 million in debts between credit cards and mortgages in a Ch 7. Approaching 2 years from discharge. Live on a cash basis but have credit for emergencies (a strategic move I learned in BK counseling). Have 9 months living expenses in the bank plus an emergency fund that can now handle almost every happenstance or two or three. Have a solid beginning for a house down payment should we choose to go that route again. Retirement fund is now growing. Am off the blood pressure meds, the anti-depressants, and have lost 27 lbs (another 30 to go).

Easy? No.

But if you take this seriously, it just might be the best offer you will get for a very long time.

[AngelinaCat]

'Hub and I are 68 and 59, respectively. We started looking into filing in August 2006. We filed the last business day of 2007--thanks to our drag-foot lawyer. (It's a looong story!) We discharged on August 13, 2008, and closed more than a year later.

We have been on a cash-only basis since then.

[basketsbears]

(((hugs))). My husband and I are 54 - so I am looking at this as a new beginning. We haven't filed yet, but will soon. I just wanted to say keep your head up - you will be fine!

Lynn

[LadyInTheRed]

YOU LOOK SO GOOD for 43!

LOL. Thank you!

[despritfreya]

These posts are why I love this forum. So much support. I wish the warmth in these posts could be spread around the world

Brasman,

You will get through this. You will keep your home. You will save your marriage (if that is an issue). Even if something happens during the course of your Chapter 13 where you cannot make a payment or two, there are simple ways to fix the problems. If there is one thing I have learned from reading this forum, it is that consumers are very resilient. Do what needs to be done and don’t look back.

Des.

[PANSYFACE]

we are in our sixties and looking forward to keeping ourselves debt-free for the next 20years - give or take. It's NEVER to late to begin again.
we have no family, kids just our two cats and each other and that's good enough for us.

Think of people who started new careers very late in life - Grandma Moses for example. There's no reason to just lay down and die - move forward - you are only 40!!!!!

Best of luck!

[Tater]

I'm 39 and my husband is nearly 50 and filing bankruptcy was the best business decision for us. Yes, it makes you look at both of your financial mistakes and it is a hard process to go through. Without it, we would work the rest of our lives to pay off the debt. It is a chance to get our lives back and focus on saving more for retirement. My husband hasn't contributed the max to his 401k in a few years and once we are discharged, that is going to change. We really had to be open and honest with each other about our spending habits, debt issues, and other factors that led us to the bankruptcy path. We are closer because of it and finally have a sense of relief.

We are not having to file a Chapter 13 but we were preparing ourselves if we had to. Five years is not a long time in the grand scheme of things. At age 45, you could be free and clear of unsecured debt. Like others have suggested, you will need to really talk with your wife about what is going on. My husband and I look at this as a true fresh start, are changing the bad habits, and have a budget that we live by. It's tough but for us, it was the only choice we really had, and it does have a positive outcome.

[tobee43]

I'm 43 and filed BK 2 years ago. .

YOU LOOK SO GOOD for 43!

[pamkev]

My hubby and I are over 50 (barely LOL) and this has brought us closer together we were drifting apart. My husband works the 3-11 shift I work the day shift and then a part time job over the weekend/weeknights so we could stay on top of the bills so we never saw each other, we were two ship that past in the night. We never saw each other to talk about money and when we did we were not talking if you get my meaning. We both were spending way out of control more me than him, finally I had enough and in Feb of this year made it a point to be off a weekend and sat and talked to him that this could not go on we would never get ahead the cc kept raising our interest rates even though we were never late and had been with them for years and also thank you Mr President we bailed them out and this was the thanks we were getting, seems like they could not handle money and we got the punishment. We also had medical bills due to my breast cancer which I am now 7 years free Okay enough of that rant back to the original program. The initial talk was not pretty but it has led us to a more happy marriage and now a budget we live on where each of us know what money is going where. The choice to file BK has given us our lives back. I don't work weeknights after my full time job now and only on 1 weekend day a week the other to spend with each other and our grand kids We will get thought this together.
To the OP and I know this might sound cruel but before you start the blame game and it's all your wife's fault you must take some responsibility here also. You could have looked at the bills or asked to sit down and talk about them look at the checkbook or something, you knew the income coming in and if you had a twinge of how are we affording all of this that would have been a sign. We all make mistakes and if you and your wife can sit and talk about this and choose which way to go and work together 5 years will go in a flash then you will look back at this as a new beginning for your marriage as well as your finances

[AngelinaCat]

I will mention my opinion here and it is said with the utmost kindness meant to you, Brasman: You and your wife need to talk, find out what went wrong and how to avoid it happening again, set goals, budget and plan your financial future.

I will echo this. When my husband and I went to pre-marriage counseling, before we could marry in my church, the overriding theme in most of the sessions was: 'how you and your intended mate handle money is what will make or break your relationship. Not infidelity, not gambling, drinking, or any of the expected 'sins', but how the two of you handle or do NOT handle money.

And this involves clear and open communication.

Good wishes to you, and welcome to the forum.

[ValleYum]

Think of it this way, 5 years is going to come whether you file or not. So you can be at a much better place at the point when it comes or you can be 5 years older and still asking if you are too old to file! So why not take the chance that things will be much better then to sit and wonder for the next 5 years if you should have gone ahead and filed? Think about how fast the last 5 years have gone...Good Luck!

This x1000!! The time will come and GO. I would rather look back at 45 and know the debt was behind me than see it stretching infinitely ahead of me at 45.

I will mention my opinion here and it is said with the utmost kindness meant to you, Brasman: You and your wife need to talk, find out what went wrong and how to avoid it happening again, set goals, budget and plan your financial future. Chapter 13 will be really hard if you don't.

Do you know what happened to the money and why the debt was accumulated? If there is an underlying issue like too much shopping or gambling (NO disrespect meant AT ALL), a bankruptcy may not help unless that issue is addressed and corrected.

Welcome to the forum - we are all here for each other. I think you picked a great place to ask your questions.

[Drazil65]

Think of it this way, 5 years is going to come whether you file or not. So you can be at a much better place at the point when it comes or you can be 5 years older and still asking if you are too old to file! So why not take the chance that things will be much better then to sit and wonder for the next 5 years if you should have gone ahead and filed? Think about how fast the last 5 years have gone...Good Luck!