Have you sworn off credit cards??

[DaisysMom]

I have learned alot from this experience. I had 6 cards that were max'd out and I couldn't make the payments. A close relative took pity on me and paid them all off for me to the tune of over 20 K. Fast-forward 4 years and I was in the exact same place. Ashamed and guilt ridden....not able to admit to anyone what I had done again.

I learned at that moment that I just cannot handle having credit cards. I can't deny it, I can't gloss it over. I cannot have credit cards, I am to impulsive. And I am not alone, there are many on this board who are just like me, plus many who IMHO are in denial about the issue.

As to the question in the OP about swearing off CC's. I have a plan for me that addresses my CC weakness. We are going to get one card, (secured) with a 2 K limit. (My hubs family is on the West coast and we have to fly occasionally and it is much easier with a credit card.) If it eventually gets converted to a unsecured, it will be OK as we will never allow the credit limit to go above 2K. Period!! I never, ever want to go through the guilt, despair, and feeling of utter hopelessness that i had before BK saved me. Literally!!!

I have learned that BK IS a fresh start, but you have to run the race differently or you will end in the same mess you were in before BK.

Thank you all for your help and the life experiences you have shared when going through your own difficult financial times.

DM

[DYLAN150]

I remember taking my dog to the vet and the bill was $200, I had the money but it was so darn easy just to charge it on a card. And after a few years I was in trouble.

[DaisysMom]

Same here. I never bought big ticket items, I just nickled and dimed the balances up. I miss-spent my cash and then needed the cards for gas, groceries, dog food...etc, etc. Then toward the end, I used the cash to make the cc payments and then used the freed up credit to live. It was just a vicious cycle. Thank God it's over now...without all that stress...my health is even improving. I can sleep at night and life is fun again. My future looks alot brighter!! Woot!!

DM

[TheBajan]

I never said anything about not wanting to use cash. You can have a credit card and not use it. I have the willpower to do that, but maybe you don't. I have 4 department store credit cards now and in the past year I've used all of those exactly twice and paid those balances in full. It's not always about not wanting to use cash. Sometimes the benefits you get are just better. I only want the credit card just to start the rebuilding process. It's the only line of credit I can apply for and it's an easy way to build up your credit score. I'm sorry, but I guess I disagree with the majority of people here. Having a credit card is another line of credit that can help you in the long run. I'm looking at the bigger picture. No one says you ever have to charge everything you buy. Usually one or two transactions a month is all it may take.

Unfortunately I have more credit card debt that I can pay. I've spent the past 4 years trying to pay it off and gotten nowhere. I feel like I'm not making a dent in it. If anything the balance just gets transferred from one card to another. I can't keep up with the payments and still have enough to live on. It's one or the other. I make a $400 payment and on the next statement I get a $200 interest charge. Unfortunately it's just not working. I don't want to be 60 with this same debt.

Sometimes communication through the internet can be taken incorrectly due to the inability to use tone and body language. Please try to understand that everyone here (at least in my experience) has your best interest at hand and no one is TRYING to be offensive. I hope you will take that into consideration as you read this. Take time to really read others stories on this forum. MANY OF US, (myself included) have used credit very 'responsibly' and 'advantageously' for years before we ended up exactly where you are. I think the concern that some of us have regarding your situation is that based on the posts we've read from you.... you are in denial about the problem. You see yourself as a victim of the economy and haven't taken personal responsibility for getting to where you are right now. You don't see your credit card use as dangerous to your financial future and you haven't felt the sting of the debt ENOUGH to have learned your lesson. In one of your post you mention that you were unemployed twice in a 3 year period (once for 9 months). You also state that no one can prepare for that. That's a red flag in my mind.

People do prepare for that. My husband and I both lost our jobs at about the same time. Because we had 'prepared' in what I believe was a responsible manner, we managed to get by on our savings and investments for about two years before we started relying on credit. It took my husband 2 and a half years to find a job at half his former pay and I just found one a month ago (part time at about a third of my previous wage). Obviously, we still ended up here in BK. However, my point is that you had employment for most of the time and you still were not ready for this emergency. We had no employment and we lasted years longer before BK than you are lasting. If we had only been out of work for 9 months, we wouldn't be here. This is what you need to learn. You need to accept responsibility for poor planning and poor money management. BK is not a "quick fix" and my concern is that you appear to be approaching it that way.

Also, please understand that I am very conscious of the mistakes I've made that contributed to my BK. Read some of my other posts and you will know what I'm talking about. So don't think I'm trying to say I'm any smarter or better than you b/c I'm not.

Before you get heated and offended please know that I am not passing any judgement on you. I realize it may read that way but it's really not my intention. I'm simply trying to express the concern that I think many of us have on your behalf.

I'm not trying to say that you should never get a credit card again. If you were my daughter I would suggest that you take a year and just live without one. Learn to budget and live with just cash. If you can do that for a year, and you are saving money during that time for emergencies that come up in life (they always do), then, if you feel like you recognize where you are weak in your financial habits and you have addressed those areas, by all means, go re-build your credit. It will be the cheapest school of life you will ever attend and you may surprise yourself in what you learn about who you are along the way.

I do wish you the very best. Please continue to keep us posted and again, this is not meant in any sort of mean-spirited way. There is genuine concern for you.

Blessings,
The Bajan

[ksgirl38]

Sometimes communication through the internet can be taken incorrectly due to the inability to use tone and body language. Please try to understand that everyone here (at least in my experience) has your best interest at hand and no one is TRYING to be offensive. I hope you will take that into consideration as you read this. Take time to really read others stories on this forum. MANY OF US, (myself included) have used credit very 'responsibly' and 'advantageously' for years before we ended up exactly where you are. I think the concern that some of us have regarding your situation is that based on the posts we've read from you.... you are in denial about the problem. You see yourself as a victim of the economy and haven't taken personal responsibility for getting to where you are right now. You don't see your credit card use as dangerous to your financial future and you haven't felt the sting of the debt ENOUGH to have learned your lesson. In one of your post you mention that you were unemployed twice in a 3 year period (once for 9 months). You also state that no one can prepare for that. That's a red flag in my mind.

People do prepare for that. My husband and I both lost our jobs at about the same time. Because we had 'prepared' in what I believe was a responsible manner, we managed to get by on our savings and investments for about two years before we started relying on credit. It took my husband 2 and a half years to find a job at half his former pay and I just found one a month ago (part time at about a third of my previous wage). Obviously, we still ended up here in BK. However, my point is that you had employment for most of the time and you still were not ready for this emergency. We had no employment and we lasted years longer before BK than you are lasting. If we had only been out of work for 9 months, we wouldn't be here. This is what you need to learn. You need to accept responsibility for poor planning and poor money management. BK is not a "quick fix" and my concern is that you appear to be approaching it that way.

Also, please understand that I am very conscious of the mistakes I've made that contributed to my BK. Read some of my other posts and you will know what I'm talking about. So don't think I'm trying to say I'm any smarter or better than you b/c I'm not.

Before you get heated and offended please know that I am not passing any judgement on you. I realize it may read that way but it's really not my intention. I'm simply trying to express the concern that I think many of us have on your behalf.

I'm not trying to say that you should never get a credit card again. If you were my daughter I would suggest that you take a year and just live without one. Learn to budget and live with just cash. If you can do that for a year, and you are saving money during that time for emergencies that come up in life (they always do), then, if you feel like you recognize where you are weak in your financial habits and you have addressed those areas, by all means, go re-build your credit. It will be the cheapest school of life you will ever attend and you may surprise yourself in what you learn about who you are along the way.

I do wish you the very best. Please continue to keep us posted and again, this is not meant in any sort of mean-spirited way. There is genuine concern for you.

Blessings,
The Bajan

I can tell that I did have money saved up before the unemployment hit, but unfortunately it wasn't enough. I'm willing to bet money on the fact that my salary is probably lower than most of the people on this forum so that certainly doesn't help. Many of the people on here also have a second income in the household, I didn't. There was also another financial issue taking place at the time that ate a huge amount of my funds, an unplanned one.

I have debt on 2 credit cards. One, with the exception of one transaction for a tank of gas, hasn't had another charge on it in 2 years and it's still over $15,000. I can guarantee you that I do not have a credit card problem and the day my BK is filed I will be looking for another credit card to begin the credit rebuilding process. In fact at this point I consider it more of a challenge due to all the negative support. I guarantee that you are wrong in your assumptions.

[ohiogal]

ksgirl, if your only problem is that the payments on your cards are too high for you to pay and have money to live on - have you called the CC companies and asked them to lower your interest rate? Or, you might be able to work out a deal where they close out your card so you can't charge anything else on it, and then you can pay the balance off at a lower interest rate. I did this with a couple of my cards. They'd rather do this than see you file for BK. I'd give them a call and talk to them.

[TheBajan]

I guarantee that you are wrong in your assumptions.

I certainly hope so. I'm sorry to have caused offense.

Best wishes,
The Bajan

[ksgirl38]

ksgirl, if your only problem is that the payments on your cards are too high for you to pay and have money to live on - have you called the CC companies and asked them to lower your interest rate? Or, you might be able to work out a deal where they close out your card so you can't charge anything else on it, and then you can pay the balance off at a lower interest rate. I did this with a couple of my cards. They'd rather do this than see you file for BK. I'd give them a call and talk to them.

I tried that. They were unwilling to negotiate. Not to mention closing out an account like that would impact my credit score. Not really something I wanted to do.

[mountanddo]

I tried that. They were unwilling to negotiate. Not to mention closing out an account like that would impact my credit score. Not really something I wanted to do.

They were unwilling to negotiate because you are current on your payments. Stop paying for a few months and let them go into default and then see if they might change their mind. A bankrupcy will do more than impact your credit score, it will slaughter it. Not only will the cards be closed along with all your other cards, including the ones that have zero balances you will have it on your report for 10 years. If you don't think the other cards will close your accounts I will let you know that they do. I had 8 credit cards and filed and had zero balances on 4. All of them closed my accounts. Save the money you would have paid on your cards to put towards your negotiating. If it is only two cards then it's easier than if you had 20.

[ohiogal]

I tried that. They were unwilling to negotiate. Not to mention closing out an account like that would impact my credit score. Not really something I wanted to do.

Did you just ask them to lower your interest rate? You sound like you've been an excellent customer - current on your payments, never missed a payment, etc. - and many CCs will lower the interest rate as courtesy, you just have to ask. Although it never hurts to dangle a carrot...I called Capital One in December and said, "Gosh, I have this big-ticket item I'd love to buy but I can't put the purchase on my Cap1 card because the interest rate is so high. Can you help me with that?" They knocked 8 points off the IR. :-) I paid the purchase off over 2 months, but I still have the lower interest rate. And lowering your IR doesn't impact your credit score at all. Good luck! PS Which specific credit cards are you carrying balances on? Discover? AmEx?

[Tater]

Sometimes communication through the internet can be taken incorrectly due to the inability to use tone and body language. Please try to understand that everyone here (at least in my experience) has your best interest at hand and no one is TRYING to be offensive. I hope you will take that into consideration as you read this. Take time to really read others stories on this forum. MANY OF US, (myself included) have used credit very 'responsibly' and 'advantageously' for years before we ended up exactly where you are. I think the concern that some of us have regarding your situation is that based on the posts we've read from you.... you are in denial about the problem. You see yourself as a victim of the economy and haven't taken personal responsibility for getting to where you are right now. You don't see your credit card use as dangerous to your financial future and you haven't felt the sting of the debt ENOUGH to have learned your lesson. In one of your post you mention that you were unemployed twice in a 3 year period (once for 9 months). You also state that no one can prepare for that. That's a red flag in my mind.

People do prepare for that. My husband and I both lost our jobs at about the same time. Because we had 'prepared' in what I believe was a responsible manner, we managed to get by on our savings and investments for about two years before we started relying on credit. It took my husband 2 and a half years to find a job at half his former pay and I just found one a month ago (part time at about a third of my previous wage). Obviously, we still ended up here in BK. However, my point is that you had employment for most of the time and you still were not ready for this emergency. We had no employment and we lasted years longer before BK than you are lasting. If we had only been out of work for 9 months, we wouldn't be here. This is what you need to learn. You need to accept responsibility for poor planning and poor money management. BK is not a "quick fix" and my concern is that you appear to be approaching it that way.

Also, please understand that I am very conscious of the mistakes I've made that contributed to my BK. Read some of my other posts and you will know what I'm talking about. So don't think I'm trying to say I'm any smarter or better than you b/c I'm not.

Before you get heated and offended please know that I am not passing any judgement on you. I realize it may read that way but it's really not my intention. I'm simply trying to express the concern that I think many of us have on your behalf.

I'm not trying to say that you should never get a credit card again. If you were my daughter I would suggest that you take a year and just live without one. Learn to budget and live with just cash. If you can do that for a year, and you are saving money during that time for emergencies that come up in life (they always do), then, if you feel like you recognize where you are weak in your financial habits and you have addressed those areas, by all means, go re-build your credit. It will be the cheapest school of life you will ever attend and you may surprise yourself in what you learn about who you are along the way.

I do wish you the very best. Please continue to keep us posted and again, this is not meant in any sort of mean-spirited way. There is genuine concern for you.

Blessings,
The Bajan

Bajan,

I loved reading your post and you are such a positive person. I admire you and your husband for being prepared and carrying yourselves through two years of unemployment together. I became unemployed a year ago and we still had hubby's income to rely on, along with my unemployment benefits. We sunk fast because we didn't have much saved up due to poor financial decisions. It didn't take us long to go through that savings. Credit cards are a portion of our debt and I used them as a crutch for most of my adult life. When the realization of bankruptcy hit us, it was a scary prospect but honestly our only one. We wouldn't be able to climb out of our debt once I became employed again.

After the initial shock has worn off, we've created an even better budget by reading some of the suggestions on this forum. We had a good one in place but there is always room for improvement. For a time, I blamed the economy and my job loss for our situation. Yet, had we been better prepared than we could have made it through. Lousy financial decisions over a number of years has what got us here. I take the blame for the blunt of those because I was looking for the quick fix. The bankruptcy process has shown both of us, especially me, to look at the big picture. We are going to get a fresh start and there is a lot of gratitude to go with that. Although we haven't filed yet, a lot of the stress has lifted from our shoulders.

I have to admit that I am in no rush to get a credit card. I am just not ready for one and I would rather build up our savings after we have filed and paid over the lawyer and filing fees. We will have some money from our tax return left over that we can exempt. That will be going into a savings account. That just feels incredible for both of us. Your posts have been so inspiring as with so many others on the forum. To have such a supportive community through such a difficult time is priceless!

[pamkev]

Bajan,

I loved reading your post and you are such a positive person. I admire you and your husband for being prepared and carrying yourselves through two years of unemployment together. I became unemployed a year ago and we still had hubby's income to rely on, along with my unemployment benefits. We sunk fast because we didn't have much saved up due to poor financial decisions. It didn't take us long to go through that savings. Credit cards are a portion of our debt and I used them as a crutch for most of my adult life. When the realization of bankruptcy hit us, it was a scary prospect but honestly our only one. We wouldn't be able to climb out of our debt once I became employed again.

After the initial shock has worn off, we've created an even better budget by reading some of the suggestions on this forum. We had a good one in place but there is always room for improvement. For a time, I blamed the economy and my job loss for our situation. Yet, had we been better prepared than we could have made it through. Lousy financial decisions over a number of years has what got us here. I take the blame for the blunt of those because I was looking for the quick fix. The bankruptcy process has shown both of us, especially me, to look at the big picture. We are going to get a fresh start and there is a lot of gratitude to go with that. Although we haven't filed yet, a lot of the stress has lifted from our shoulders.

I have to admit that I am in no rush to get a credit card. I am just not ready for one and I would rather build up our savings after we have filed and paid over the lawyer and filing fees. We will have some money from our tax return left over that we can exempt. That will be going into a savings account. That just feels incredible for both of us. Your posts have been so inspiring as with so many others on the forum. To have such a supportive community through such a difficult time is priceless!

Ditto to both of you

[TheBajan]

Tater and Pam,
You are both so sweet. I know you both will be fine. This a a great community and we learn from each other and grow together.

Thank you so much for your kindness.

[ksgirl38]

Did you just ask them to lower your interest rate? You sound like you've been an excellent customer - current on your payments, never missed a payment, etc. - and many CCs will lower the interest rate as courtesy, you just have to ask. Although it never hurts to dangle a carrot...I called Capital One in December and said, "Gosh, I have this big-ticket item I'd love to buy but I can't put the purchase on my Cap1 card because the interest rate is so high. Can you help me with that?" They knocked 8 points off the IR. :-) I paid the purchase off over 2 months, but I still have the lower interest rate. And lowering your IR doesn't impact your credit score at all. Good luck! PS Which specific credit cards are you carrying balances on? Discover? AmEx?

Citibank and Chase. I tried offering them a settlement, but they wouldn't do anything. They wouldn't lower the interest rate much either.

[ohiogal]

Citibank and Chase. I tried offering them a settlement, but they wouldn't do anything. They wouldn't lower the interest rate much either.

So what are you going to do?