Taking The First Step

[livingdream]

It's been long overdue for us to take an honest look about our finances. Last week, I almost lost my job. That made us take a long, hard look.
I have made an appointment next week to see an attorney to discuss our options. We own our home that is valued (hopefully) close to what we owe, 170,000.00 payment 1350.00 month
We have one car payment for a car that our daughter drives. Payment 270.00 with balance left of about 7000.00.
Total unsecured debt.......now that's the hard one to admit.....Total 56,725.00!!!
The income: I make about 4000.00 a month netting 3000.00 after taxes and health insurance. My husband is on SS Disability bringing in 1700.00 a month. We receive additional SS benefits for our minor daughter of 880.00 a month for another 8 months until she turns 18.
Wow. That was hard to put all out there!
We just can't make a dent on our debt, and realizing that we have no savings, no protection for our future is so scary. My husband is 62 and I am 55 years old and we have done nothing to prepare for when I can no longer work. I am tired of struggling.
Thanks to this board, I am doing alot of reading and learning. Feel free to offer any advise (and hopefully, some words of encouragement.)

[pamkev]

Welcome to the boards. I don't have much to offer as we just started this process. We feel less stress now then struggling to pay all the bills. We have more unsecured debt that you. The only advice I can give is see several lawyers we saw 4 and have it down narrowed to two. Breathe it will be alright.

Pam

[livingdream]

Welcome to the boards. I don't have much to offer as we just started this process. We feel less stress now then struggling to pay all the bills. We have more unsecured debt that you. The only advice I can give is see several lawyers we saw 4 and have it down narrowed to two. Breathe it will be alright.

Pam

Thanks for the welcome, Pam!
So up until this month we have been paying all the bills and just not getting anywhere. Each month we were just getting later and later in sending the payments. When I almost lost my job, we had just over a thousand in the bank, with everything due....and that was a real reality check. So, I want to continue to pay my house payment, car payment and utilities. Then what? How do I talk to the creditors when I don't know what to tell them? I don't want to make any agreements that I can't keep. My husband's and my vehicle we have title on and owe nothing for. The vehicle my daughter drives is the only one that still has a balance. Will we run the risk of losing her vehicle since we already have cars to drive?

[pamkev]

Thanks for the welcome, Pam!
So up until this month we have been paying all the bills and just not getting anywhere. Each month we were just getting later and later in sending the payments. When I almost lost my job, we had just over a thousand in the bank, with everything due....and that was a real reality check. So, I want to continue to pay my house payment, car payment and utilities. Then what? How do I talk to the creditors when I don't know what to tell them? I don't want to make any agreements that I can't keep. My husband's and my vehicle we have title on and owe nothing for. The vehicle my daughter drives is the only one that still has a balance. Will we run the risk of losing her vehicle since we already have cars to drive?

I am only starting this process and I am sure others on here will giving you much better advice. We are hoping to file a chapter 7 and keep our home will no better Thursday our cars are paid off so we don't have that worry. Talking to the creditors did not work for us as they would only lower the payments by a few dollars each months. Your best bet talk to a few lawyers and see what options is best for you. Please don't make the mistake we did and think we could do it we could not and we just got deeper in debt. We should have BK a long time ago but pride stood in our way. Someone on this board said business do this all the time and think nothing about it so we should have the same relief. Pam

[LadyInTheRed]

Welcome to the forum, livingdream!

How do I talk to the creditors when I don't know what to tell them? I don't want to make any agreements that I can't keep.

You should say very little. When my creditors called I either used caller ID and didn't answer or told them "I am having financial difficulties and am exploring my options. I should know more in 30 to 60 days." If they tried to get into any further discussion, I would repeat the same thing. Some would wait a couple of weeks to call again, others didn't. Check the collections forums for lots of tips on how to handle calls from creditors.

[jst4f]

Many many people on this forum have gone through the emotional roller coaster that is the path to BK. Very very few have expressed disappointment with the final outcome. Your reactions to your situation are normal and shared by all of us. You will be fine. While there are several paths you could take, the most common one is to interview 4-ish attorneys, which is free, and pick the one you think is best for you. Stay away from the BK factories. Please remember that you have a contractual obligation to the banks and CCs but a moral obligation to you and your family. Do what is right for the family. Best of luck and please keep us posted on your progress.

[Drazil65]

Hi and welcome. When you see that attorney (or hopefully a couple) they will probably advise you to stop paying all your unsecured debt now if bankruptcy is where you are heading! If you do not it will be wasted money in the long run (especially for chp 7 filing). The first missed payments are the hardest because we are so brainwashed into thinking that you MUST pay the creditors at all cost! And that is the problem, the cost of what this does to you and your family. We have all been there and have put those creditors ahead of everything and everyone so that the stress makes us sick each month and we are bankrupt.

As you talk to the attorneys create yourself a timeline for filing, have goals in mind and what you want to accomplish in the mean time. This will be very freeing to you and you will realize that you actually have options. The only other thing I might suggest is that you research and setup Google Voice on your computer then update/change your profile info with all your creditors (try to do this before your are past due so they just go ahead and change your contact info without hassel). This will make things so much less stressful during the process and you will not have to worry about what you are going to say to the creditors. Good Luck!

[livingdream]

Could you explain to me what "google voice" is and how it works?
Thanks!

[Drazil65]

Google Voice is free and you do a simple setup with your phone and your computer. Then you update/change all your contact info with the creditors to show the new phone number (you still use your old phone and number but with the new GV number you give out it will route through your phone) on their end, when they call it rings in through your house phone but goes directly to your computer. You can then either listen to the message or read it as it is stored on your computer or be like most of us and don't do either. Nice thing is that you do not have to hear all the crazy messages, your house is quiet, you have a record of all the calls in writing and it is genius! When you set up the GV voice mail message you just want to make sure you identify yourself and give a clear way for them to contact you by mail (your address). As long as they know its you they are contacting they should not have any reason to go any further (like trying to find you through relatives or friends etc).

It worked wonderfully for us and we never had any calls come into the main phone message machine. If you google "Google Voice" and follow the setup you should not have any problems with it. You will not regret it! There have been many threads here as well that you could search for to get further input.

[basketsbears]

Welcome.

My husband and I haven't filed yet, we will this summer. Read as much as you can to get an idea of what to expect. The waiting to file is hard, but like others said timing is very important.

We have stopped paying our unsecured credit and just waiting to file. Google voice is great!

Lynn

[livingdream]

What are the advantages to waiting to file?

[lillymarlene]

Welcome.

Admitting it to yourself is the very first step. I played the balance transfer game, moving debt around for years, before I realized that I was not going to magically get out of debt. I'm in a chapter 13, filed October 2010 and so far it's been good. Life is so much more peaceful now. I'm almost 60, and unfortunately, I never saved either, but these days at least I have a positive balance left over in my bank account.

[livingdream]

Google Voice is free and you do a simple setup with your phone and your computer. Then you update/change all your contact info with the creditors to show the new phone number (you still use your old phone and number but with the new GV number you give out it will route through your phone) on their end, when they call it rings in through your house phone but goes directly to your computer. You can then either listen to the message or read it as it is stored on your computer or be like most of us and don't do either. Nice thing is that you do not have to hear all the crazy messages, your house is quiet, you have a record of all the calls in writing and it is genius! When you set up the GV voice mail message you just want to make sure you identify yourself and give a clear way for them to contact you by mail (your address). As long as they know its you they are contacting they should not have any reason to go any further (like trying to find you through relatives or friends etc).

It worked wonderfully for us and we never had any calls come into the main phone message machine. If you google "Google Voice" and follow the setup you should not have any problems with it. You will not regret it! There have been many threads here as well that you could search for to get further input.

Thanks so much Drazil65! I have set up my google voice phone number and changed my contact number online with all my creditors. I am learning so much already on this board, that I am actually excited to finally be taking control of our finances and our future. I have always had too much pride in my credit score. Now, I just want to live simply and debt-free. Again, thanks to you and everyone on this board that are helping us newbies along!

[lillymarlene]

Some people are able to time their bankruptcy if they think they maybe will have a large medical bill coming up, that they will be able to include. Another advantage may be to be as accurate as possible (all creditors must be included) that nobody will be accidentally left off.

[pamkev]

Thanks so much Drazil65! I have set up my google voice phone number and changed my contact number online with all my creditors. I am learning so much already on this board, that I am actually excited to finally be taking control of our finances and our future. I have always had too much pride in my credit score. Now, I just want to live simply and debt-free. Again, thanks to you and everyone on this board that are helping us newbies along!

I second that thank you with helping us newbies along