Parents Separated and Need to File BK ... Divorce Before or After?

[brennan]

And it's actually a bit more complicated than that. You all have been so helpful through our BK process (our 60 days is up a week from Monday!) and I'm hoping I can get just a bit of guidance to offer my mom.

Reader's Digest Version: Mom & Dad (both age 66) married 47 years; Dad left Mom last year but they aren't divorced. She's been a SAHM for the most part, never earned enough credits for Social Security on her own, but they are now both collecting since he finally is.

Dad has always made good money, but in the last 2 years his income has dropped to almost zilch. He picks up work here and there, but did just file for Unemployment.

He has finally realized they need to file and told my mom he wants to file alone. He wants to get divorced first (using only one lawyer hired by him -- told Mom no way in he** was that happening) and sign over their paid-for truck to her. She lives in the house my grandfather left her, but there is a loan against it in both of their names. He says he wants to quit-claim the house to her. I think that's sketchy and not the way to go. Seems to me they both should file pre-divorce and get the finances settled first.

My husband and I are begging her to see a lawyer. She has no money to see a lawyer on her own (Dad has her on an allowance currently) and the only free services we can find through our county is a free consultation with a law student on a first-come first-serve basis once per month.

So what I'm asking is, am I right to insist that she visit bankrupcty lawyers with him, and would such a lawyer likely be able to advise them whether to divorce first or after filing?

Thanks for any advice!!

[AngelinaCatHub]

And it's actually a bit more complicated than that. You all have been so helpful through our BK process (our 60 days is up a week from Monday!) and I'm hoping I can get just a bit of guidance to offer my mom.

Reader's Digest Version: Mom & Dad (both age 66) married 47 years; Dad left Mom last year but they aren't divorced. She's been a SAHM for the most part, never earned enough credits for Social Security on her own, but they are now both collecting since he finally is. Mom can collect up to one half of Dad's SS. Dad collects the wholeamount. http://www.ssa.gov/retire2/yourspouse.htm

Dad has always made good money, but in the last 2 years his income has dropped to almost zilch. He picks up work here and there, but did just file for Unemployment.

He has finally realized they need to file and told my mom he wants to file alone. He wants to get divorced first (using only one lawyer hired by him -- told Mom no way in he** was that happening) Make this clearer. and sign over their paid-for truck to her. She lives in the house my grandfather left her, but there is a loan against it in both of their names. He says he wants to quit-claim the house to her. I think that's sketchy and not the way to go. Seems to me they both should file pre-divorce and get the finances settled first. He damn well should quit claim her inheritance over to her. It does not release her from the mortgage though.

My husband and I are begging her to see a lawyer. She has no money to see a lawyer on her own (Dad has her on an allowance currently) and the only free services we can find through our county is a free consultation with a law student on a first-come first-serve basis once per month. Your Dad sounds like a controlling bast@rd. Sounds like he found a girl friend.

So what I'm asking is, am I right to insist that she visit bankrupcty lawyers with him, and would such a lawyer likely be able to advise them whether to divorce first or after filing? I believe you have better exemptions while married. The bk alone is stressful and doing both together would be a lot to put on Mom. 47 years tossed is unforgivable. I'm in no position to judge but I say it as I see it.

Thanks for any advice!!

She needs a divorce lawyer before you think of a bk lawyer. Actually you could aid her to go pro se in the divorce, but don't let Dad pull something on her. The house being secured in that mortgage is going to present a problem for Mom if Dad gets off the hook. Just quit claim deed won't do a thing but give Mom the mortgage. Watch Dad, he strikes me as a bit cagy. I hope my gut feeling is wrong. Assure me it is. 'Hub

[ValleYum]

I agree with Hub - but PLEASE stress to your folks that they don't need to be "signing over" and "quit claiming" ANYTHING if they are contemplating filing a bankruptcy within the next 2 years or so.

If your momma is considering a Pro Se divorce - NOLO Press (who writes a dang good "How-To" book on Bankruptcy that many of us on here recommend) has a divorce book as well. You can order it and have it on your computer in a PDF format in minutes.

Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce (the e-book is only $12.50) http://www.nolo.com/products/nolos-e...orce-NODV.html

It may be worth it for you to get some clarity from. Good for you for standing up for your momma - sounds like she needs you.

Take care and good luck!! See you when we celebrate in your Discharge thread!!

[brennan]

Thank you both -- that just reaffirms what we were thinking. Hub, I'm also concerned that Dad isn't keeping things exactly on the up-and-up, but like you, I hope I'm wrong!

I think I may order that e-book for mom to come over and read with me. On a positive note, she called me this a.m. to tell me she got her first job in over 30 years! So proud of her for doing what she's gotta do!

And ValleYum ... hope to be celebrating that discharge shortly! We're so thankful and relieved for the opportunity to have a fresh start after so many years of struggling. And that's all I want for my mom now, too!