Help!!!

[mach1cj]

don't know what to do. my daughter is way behind in her payments and can't afford to live where she is at. car payment is 1000.00 behind along with all the utilities. she filed bankrupcy less then 2 yrs. ago. she plans on leaving the area and moving back home. what will happen to all the debt?? the car?? i'm going nuts with worry. does she have any options?

[Resigned2BK]

Was she discharged from the BK and she fell behind more recently into new debts?

Seems like she'll have to lose the car and just wait out the statute of limitations on the debts acquired since any discharge. As I understand it, the exemptions for personal belongings (except something like the car that's on a loan) are pretty much the same for those filing BK and same goes for whatever they can garnish. But I'm hardly a legal pro of any kind and know that laws can vary widely depending on the state. This is just my speculative two cents.

[mountanddo]

Well she can't file Chapter 7 for 8 years after a discharge and I think she can't file Chapter 13 for 6 years after a discharged Chapter 7 (correct me if I am wrong someone!)

I think the real question is why she got into so much debt in less than 2 years from a bankruptcy. Did she lose her job or have lots of medical bills?

[mach1cj]

yes, she was discharged of all her debt less then 2 yrs. ago. she lives in Philly and the cost of living there is just too much for the amount of her income. she has 2 little ones and supports her jobless boyfriend who likes to spend her money on stuff they don't need. it has been a never ending cycle for the last 7-8 yrs. there are no decent paying jobs around here, so I guess all the burden will be on me. I was set to retire in April, but that probably won't happen now. its a real mess.

[mountanddo]

That's too bad. Sounds like the first thing she needs to do is get rid of that free loading boyfriend. Is he coming along with her when she moves in with you? She has 2 small children and it's time for her to get control over her life for the sake of those kids. If this has been going on for 8 years and a Bankruptcy didn't give her a new, fresh start and she fell back into debt I don't know what to tell you there.

Just remember, you don't have to help her. It might end up being a worse situation if you are feeling resentful and that she is a burden than forcing her to face what her situtation is and fix it.

I had two small children when I was in my early twenties. I didn't have a Mother that was willing to help me out. I wasn't alway's that responsible however I only had me to get me out of anything I got myself into. It certainly made me "wake up" a lot quicker. I'm not saying not to help her but you need to put the responsibility on her.

[mach1cj]

yes, the boyfriend is gone "for now". he only comes around long enough to get her back in debt, then he takes off. he could care less about her or the kids, as he has done this several times before. we just can't seem to get though to her that this guy is no good. if it wasn't for the kids, I'd let her figure it out, but I can't turn my back on those little ones. she has no other place to go. she makes good money now but it just isn't enough to support her and the kids. time will tell I guess.

[df04527]

There are more grandparents than ever taking care of little ones these days. You can't let the innocent babies hurt. Been there - omg - is it possible for you to keep the kids and tell HER she's not welcome back until she gets her life and priorities in order?

It's a complicated nasty situation but there comes a point. As long as those babies are being cared for -- let her suffer, she will wake up eventually or not.

I am sorry for you and all of us in those situations.

[LadyInTheRed]

Well she can't file Chapter 7 for 8 years after a discharge and I think she can't file Chapter 13 for 6 years after a discharged Chapter 7 (correct me if I am wrong someone!)

A Chap 13 can be filed immediately after the discharge of a 7, but no debts can be discharged in the 13 within 4 years of the filing date of a 7 that was discharged. She can file a Chap 13 to get her debtors off her back and allow her to catch up on payments to her creditors. But, that would only solve her problems if she is willing to change her habits this time.

[mountanddo]

If she can't take care of herself and 2 children then she really doesn't make good money. If that is the case then maybe someone to help her with budgeting might help. I supported 2 children making $7/hour and getting daycare assistance. If I didn't get that daycare assistance it would of never worked. I think I paid $18/month for 2 children, one in fulltime care. It certainly is not something I would want to do again but it can be done.

Of course, telling her you will take the kids and kick her out is better said than done. I doubt a mother would willing give up her children and I'm really not convinced that would be the best "for" the children. She will dump the BF eventually, I have no doubt. She just hasn't gotten there yet.

It is tough to provide advice without knowing the whole situation. On the financial side she may have to give up the car. Can she work and get around without a car? Without knowing the other debts it's hard to say. Is your state one that garnishes wages? Is she in jeopardy of getting default judgements? Possibly debt consolidation might be an option for her though I really hate that route. Might be the only one she has though.

[mountanddo]

A Chap 13 can be filed immediately after the discharge of a 7, but no debts can be discharged in the 13 within 4 years of the filing date of a 7 that was discharged. She can file a Chap 13 to get her debtors off her back and allow her to catch up on payments to her creditors. But, that would only solve her problems if she is willing to change her habits this time.

So can she file Chapter 13, be in a five year plan and then have the debts discharged? I guess I'm not understanding this.

[mach1cj]

she owes $11,500 on an SUV that "her boyfriend" thought they needed. (18.75%) for 5 yrs. she has no insurance on it! she has approx. $4,000.00 in other debt.(utilities) student loan, etc. if she had the same job around here, it wouldn't be a problem, but rent here is about $400. compared to $900. in Philly. we plan on turning in the Suv, she just can't afford it. not really sure what will happen about that. she won't find anything around here that pays $20.+ an hour, I do know that. At best she might find a $7-8. job, but you sure as hell can't support 2 kids and everything that goes with it on that. this is really helping me, getting a chance to talk about it. I've never been in any money trouble my whole life, so its hard to understand how this keeps happening. does anybody know the best option for the Suv? Her target time for coming home is the end of the month. thanks so much for letting me vent.

[bcohen]

This really isn't rocket science. You, as the mother, have a duty and obligation to look out for the interests of your daughter and your grandchildren and show her the "tough love" that is needed. You should first of all tell her very bluntly that any assistance from you is conditional on her breaking up with her "bad boy" boyfriend, and having nothing else to do with him except for seeing him in court and allowing him to meet the children for court-ordered visitation. You should make it clear to her that if she continues to see this man, you will be forced to kick her out on her ass, and file for temporary custody of your grandchildren.

You should encourage your daughter to dump all her debts--car payment, back rent, back utilities, etc.--and move back in with you. You should then see to it that she goes to the DES and files for child support and whatever public assistance benefits she is entitled to. At the very least, she should be entitled to food stamps, medicaid, and daycare assistance for the kids. Even assuming that the ex-boyfriend does not work, cannot be garnished, or otherwise evades paying child support, the state will still provide these things to your daughter.

BTW, another benefit of being on public assistance is that in many states, a judge will take that as evidence of extreme poverty and deny a judgement creditor's request to garnish wages (assuming that she shows up to the hearing and objects on the grounds of hardship).

[LadyInTheRed]

So can she file Chapter 13, be in a five year plan and then have the debts discharged? I guess I'm not understanding this.

I think the way it works is if the end of the 5 year plan if 4 years after the filing date of the Chap 7, the debts can be discharged in the 13. I may not have that right. If she isn't eligible for a discharge, she can get the protection of the 13 to "reorganize" her debt. When the plan is complete, the case is closed, but she still has to pay any debt that didn't get paid during the plan.

So, if she has a good job where she is, she may be better off staying put and filing a Chap 13. She should consult with a BK attorney or 2 to determine if a Chap 13 will help.

Of course, she has to not let her boyfriend come back and talk her into using credit again.

[luckstyl]

file for temporary custody of your grandchildren.[/b]

Absolutely ridiculous.

[bcohen]

Absolutely ridiculous.

Not really. If she is in danger of being kicked out of her apartment because she can't pay the rent and utilities--and that this is due to a pattern of irresponsibility, not a sudden emergency--then it's not too difficult to make the case that the children would be better off with the grandparents. And it sounds to me, objectively speaking, that this is correct.